Bright Eyes and Subtle Variations of Blue
by fantasy elf queen
Summary: Castiel has an accident as a child that lets him see people's auras. He remains antisocial until he is forced to attend public high-school senior year where he meets Dean Winchester, the boy who has the most beautiful and brightest aura Cas has ever seen.How can Cas stay away or even begin to understand the complexities of what builds such a beautiful soul?
1. Sapphire Blue

**So this idea has been bouncing around in my head like a ricocheting bullet in a spaghetti western for a couple months now before I finally got my lazy ass into gear to finish it. Before we even start this I completely apologize for the infinite amount of mistakes this will have because its self beta'd which means I read through it once to make sure there are no glaringly obvious and painful spelling errors that spellcheck missed.**

**I also apologize for the many geeky fandom references that will probably be in this. I have recently entered the Star Trek world and Jesus Christ I'm a trekkie now so yeah lots of that and I'm a nerd through and through so yeah.**

**Oh yeah, and rated M for a teenager's mind, lots of lovely language fit for the Queen and lots of sex fit for a quee…;) if ya know what I mean. **

When I was ten years old I almost drowned on a family trip to the lake. I wasn't a good swimmer at the time and much to my father's disapproval I'd wandered away from the shallow shore. I'll always remember the cold terror as I thrashed and kicked towards the glistening broken sun reflecting on the water's surface. Everything had faded until the light I was fighting to reach blurred with the shadows around me and I lost consciousness. I didn't wake till two days later in the hospital but I was told Gabriel was the one to drag me out.

But when I came to a groggy consciousness in my hospital bed I thought maybe I'd been under too long, or maybe I was going blind? A nurse was leaning over me, checking my IV and I noticed a translucent haze around her. I squinted in confusion to focus on the subtle color changes between a rosy pink and a soft turquoise. When I glanced over to the slumped form of my mother by the window I blinked in confusion at the strong glow of ivory tinged in yellow twisting around her softly like tendrils of smoke.

I mentioned the weird images to my doctor who promptly took me in for tests and scans but nothing came up. After a while I acted as if it had simply disappeared when it became apparent it wasn't going away and that everyone thought I was crazy or had ptsd. It took me a couple of years to even figure out what was going on and what I was seeing. After hours and hours of google searching I came to the tentative conclusion that I was seeing auras.

But it was never exact, never precisely like it was explained on the sites. For one people's auras changed. There was the basic color base that always seemed to glow within the skin that usually didn't change unless the person had a life altering experience. I came to my own conclusion that this was the inner aura, the deeper representation of the person's permanent soul. Then there was a softer haze, these were parts of the person, sections of their personality and their semi permanent emotions. Then on the outer edge, often is sparks or flashes of light for just a glimpse would be current emotions and feelings.

A person was never just one or two colors. They were always a swirling mass of colors and energies. And colors could mean different things depending on what part of the aura it was in or who the person was. There were differences in the purity of the colors and the subtle shades. And of course some people's auras were brighter than others. There were differences in how bright, big, or the transparency of the aura. It would take me years to even begin to categorize and understand what it all meant.

I wasn't a very sociable person, when you can see a person's soul it tends to be a bit disconcerting to go into public crowded places. I liked my solitude; my family knew I'd changed after my near death experience. I was sent to several psychologists but I was deemed mentally stable and healthy, even so my parents tended to treat me as if I were a glass vase afterwards.

My mother's aura base would always remain a strong ivory. I eventually connected the color with calm, simplicity and a quiet pleasantness. The yellow I'd first seen in her semi permanent aura was the feeling of losing control and upheaval during my almost death. Most days there was the mixed swirling of a light dusty pink and faint turquoise. Both were feelings of love and tender nurturing, colors I saw often in mothers. My mother was one of few people that had such a simple aura; I found a new level of love for her simplicity and caring nature.

My father was the exact opposite of the spectrum, always changing, a swirling mass of colors, even his core aura would often change in subtle ways. Gabriel was the one person I would always remain close with, especially after the accident. I know that without being able to see his soul many people probably thought him extremely immature and annoying, yet my brother had one of the most vibrant and beautiful auras I'd ever seen. His core color was a deep glistening gold, the second layer a vibrant swirl of oranges, tans, browns and a surprising slash of purple. His aura was bright and cast a strong metallic shine that only the wisest and most inspired people tended to have. Just being in the presence of his aura was pleasant; it wasn't any question why people gravitated to him like a magnet despite his initial personality.

I had tried many times to catch a good glimpse of my own aura but I had only managed once by accident. My own was a deep royal blue with veins of silver and white and a bright metallic sheen. I was relieved to see no cast of muddy grey or black. Colors I always knew to watch for and stay away from.

And so for the next seven years I shunned myself away from people. I avoided crowds like the plague and basked in my own solitude. Gabriel went to public school but do to my antisocial nature my parents allowed me to home school. But the day came that Gabriel packed up his bags for his first year of college at a local university and my parents seemed to come to the conclusion that I needed to attend public school my senior year to prepare myself for my future. I was terrified.

And that's where I found myself in August of that year, standing petrified on a set of stone steps leading up to Lawrence High School. The bell had rang probably ten minutes before yet I couldn't force myself to walk through the crowded hallways packed with students. I trudged through the front doors and to the main office. The office lady seemed pleasant enough, she was glowing a happy pink, probably in a new relationship or a newlywed. She gave me my schedule and I thanked her, I noticed the spark of lemon yellow in her outer field. I had surprised her.

I eventually found my way to my first period which was Brit Lit. I pushed open the door and was immediately barked at by a heavy cockney accent.

"Bloody late on the first day of school, who are you?"

I would have felt immensely intimidated if not for his ruby red and purple aura, a mix that despite his rough exterior would mean I would like him immensely.

"I'm Castiel Novak sir, sorry I'm late, I'm a new transfer student."

"Well I'm Mr. Crowley, take a seat."

As I sat I inspected my teacher's aura further. His specific shade of red would mean he was grounded and had a strong willpower, I liked his hue of purple, it would mean he was wise and would probably be an intuitive and creative teacher.

The class began well; Mr. Crowley read off the syllabus and began handing out books. But halfway through the class I couldn't help but blush and scrunch down in my seat. At least half the class was having flashes of deep wine red in their auras. Wine red wasn't a color I often saw, not with my antisocialism, but I knew it well, half the class was aroused at the moment, or at least having thoughts of sex. Oh God I wasn't going to make it through public school.

The bell rang and I quickly dashed out of the class for my Comp 1 class before I heard a girl's voice yell behind me in the hall.

"Hey Castiel wait up!"

I stopped in surprise and turned to see a small pretty blonde girl I hadn't noticed from Brit Lit bouncing towards me with a smile. She had a vibrant orange, pink and violet aura with a cast of happy yellow at the moment.

"I'm Jo Harvelle, I wanted to introduce myself!"

"Oh, hi Jo, it's nice to meet you."

Jo pulled me over to the side of the hallway so we didn't get trampled by the throng of students.

"What class are you headed to?"

I consulted my schedule to double check myself."Comp 1 with Miss Davis." I noticed a blooming glow of yellow, Jo was made happy easily.

"That's where I'm headed, why don't I show you the way, it's over in the second vocational building where all the duel enrollment classes are."

I followed Jo quietly while she chattered away happily and explained where different classes were, teachers, students, and the general ins and outs of the school.

"You'll have to meet all my friends, we're quite the bunch, there's Ash, Chuck, Balthazar, and Dean."

"So you're the only girl in the group?"

"Yeah, well Charlie sometimes hangs out with us but she gets sick of the guys hitting on her since she bats for the other team."  
"Why do they hit on her it they know she's a lesbian?"

"Because they're guys, I dunno, guys like lesbians."

I chuckled as Jo opened the door to the vocational building as the minute bell rang."That is true, watch any popular movie or tv show and that's evidence enough."

Jo cast me an approving smile."I like you Castiel."

We walked into a classroom on the far end of the hall. Jo sat us in the back behind a couple of empty desks. Then at that moment a guy walked through the door. Let me start off. Even objectively, just speaking as any guy observing another male he was attractive. He had short, spiky, dirty blonde hair, a pair of broad shoulders, a well muscled yet thin frame, long legs, a killer crooked smile, and the most gorgeous pair of green eyes under a set of well defined eyebrows and a thick set of lashes.

I took that in within a blink and didn't register any of it…because Holy Smokes…

I had no clue who he was and he had the most beautiful aura I'd ever seen in my life. It was by far the brightest I'd ever seen, it practically lit up the entire room. But not even taking in the blinding light his colors, it was almost like looking at one of those famous LIFE photographs of Earth. There was a swirling of emeralds, jaspers, sapphires, aquamarines, rich chocolate browns, and liquid molten amber in a shade I'd never seen before. I'd never seen such rich shades; every color glistened like their actual jewels. His entire aura shined with a dusting of gold and silver and the clear diamond like sheen that Gabriel's aura contained.

Most of the time, after I had initially taken someone's aura in I could block it out, ignore it and it disappeared into the background like white noise. But with him, I could hardly blink; I'd never seen anything so beautiful in my entire life. I felt a combined mixture of shock and horror as the boy smiled in my general direction and plopped down in the desk in front of Jo.

"Heya Josephine."

Jo's aura sparked with annoyance."Dean Michael Winchester! How many fuckin times have I told you!"

So this was Dean, Dean Winchester had the aura of an angel.

Dean's aura flared with a happy affection while he patted Jo on the head. She rolled her eyes and turned to me.

"Dean this is Castiel Novak, he's a newbie, been homeschooled his entire life. Castiel this is Dean Winchester, asshole extraordinaire."

Dean gave me a cocky grin yet I noticed with uncertain worry as a small swirl of dark muddy blue dashed along the edge of his aura with a mix of dirty grey.

"Nice to meet you Castiel, sorry to say you met Josephine here first, she's a right demon when she wants to be."

Jo cast Dean a scathing glare yet her aura flared with pink. I could tell by the shades in both of their auras that the two shared a bond of sibling love.

My day continued until lunch where Jo accosted me in line to come and sit with her and her group. As I sat at the lunch table I quickly evaluated the group of teenagers while Jo introduced them.

"Guys this is Castiel Novak, Castiel, this is Chuck."

Chuck had a nervous yellow color to him but he did boast a strong vein of lavender. He was very creative, probably an artist or author.

"This dick here is Balthazar."Balthazar idly flipped her off while taking a sip of Coke.

Balthazar boasted a candied red which I gathered meant a healthy ego and eccentric personality; although he did have a swirling of amber, so egocentric yet loyal.

"And this is Ash."

Ash was a blend of indigo, soft blue, and an orange yellow. So Ash was smart, creative, perceptive, intuitive and truthful. I liked this bunch. Of course those of integrity and strong or preferable auras did usually tend to find one another and stick in groups.

"Nice to meet you guys."

Ash grinned lazily."Welcome to the land of crazy, where rational thought and common sense have no meaning."

At that moment Dean dropped his tray onto the table beside Jo as he flopped into his seat with that sort of lifeless flop you can only get out of teenagers.

"Where nothing is as it seems and no one can be trusted, full of intrigue and betrayal, love and passion, we should make a romcom Ash!"

Ash gave a lazy smile, clearly approving of the idea. Jo elbowed me in the spleen.

"So Castiel, what do you do?" My bight of canned metallic peaches suddenly stuck in my throat as if I'd taken a swallow of peanut butter or maybe my mom's meatloaf.

"Whuut?"

Dean poked his head around Jo with a cocky smirk and a flair of happy yellow amusement in his outer field.

"Jo likes to stick us suckers into categories of personality and hobbies, she's kind of a control freak, she also loves a good game of 20 questions, or ya know…200 questions."

Jo pinched his bicep and turned her full attention on me.

"What kind of stuff do you like?"

I shrugged self consciously, still trying to dislodge the lump of superglue that had materialized in my larynx.

"Normal stuff I guess, I read, I like movies and tv. Not really a sport person."

"What kind of tv? Oooh let me guess! Ummmm really smart and logical stuff like the Wire and lawyer shows n' stuff."

The superglue ball finally dislodged and I gave a tentative if not an amused smile.

"Not really, I'm more of a sci-fi and fantasy kind of guy."

Her brow quirked."Sci-fi,…like, Smallville and Walking Dead sort of stuff, Dean here loves zombies."

"Well yeah I love both those shows but I mean more like, Star Trek, Firefly, Doctor Who, Stargate kind of stuff."

Jo gave me a vaguely blank look."Star Trek, that's the one with the pointy eye brow dude right and like, Beam me up Scotty?"

I tried not to spasm in pain before Dean let out a barking laugh and shot an exasperated laugh my way.

"You'll have to forgive her dude; this chick doesn't even get Harry Potter references let alone stuff broadcasted before she was born."

Jo sniffed indignantly."I like cartoons, ya know like Phineas and Ferb n' stuff."

"Phineas and Ferb is sci-fi, that works for me."

I tried to not let my insides turn into tapioca pudding when the corners of Dean's eyes crinkled as he laughed at Jo and she continued to elbow him.

Dean finally thwarted Jo's attempts of maiming and turned to me."So dude, what's your superpower?"

"Superpower?"

Chuck piped up from the conversation he'd been in with Balthazar and Ash.

"Jo thinks everyone has a superpower."

Ash gave what I was starting to assume was his signature lazy devil may care grin.

"I'm the computer whisperer, I can romance any hot babe, I speak the language of 1's and 0's."

Chuck twirled his hand to simulate a shallow bow. "I am a prophet, I can write the future."

Balthazar seemed to refuse to stoop to our level for a moment before he rolled his eyes and sighed."I telepath and teleport…into other dimensions…if ya know what I mean." He punctuated the last statement with a vicarious waggle of his eyebrows.

Jo rolled her eyes." I am a real life cupid; I can match up anyone, anytime, anyplace, anywhere."

There was a pause for a moment before Dean growled and I noticed a raspberry swirl of embarrassment around him.

"Jo says I put off superhuman pheromones that means I can make anyone sleep with me or fall in love with me or..somethin, I dunno." He shrugged awkwardly.

Jo turned expectantly to me as everyone waited for me to supply my own superpower. I opened my mouth and what tumbled out made me cringe.

"I can read people."

"What like their minds?"

I chewed on my bottom lip thoughtfully."No, more like their auras, I can get a feel for people's personalities and traits, there sort of core being."

Jo narrowed her eyes playfully at me."Prove it."

I took an inaudible deep breath and turned to stare at Chuck, he squirmed under my gaze uncomfortably.

"You're really nervous, in general, of everything, but creative, near ingenious." I squinted at smoky tendrils of twisting color.

"I'd say you lack integrity in the smaller things but not for important things, you have a lot of humility and a spark of courage."

Chuck gazed at me silently and wide eyed as I turned my gaze on Balthazar, he returned my gaze coolly and disinterested but I could see a mustard yellow discomfort in him.

"You're very egocentric; you're smart, self absorbed and extremely loyal even though you don't want anyone to know it."

I could see a spark of surprise in his eyes and in his outer field.

I cocked my head at Ash.

"You are crazy smart but not with just technical things, you're intuitive and perceptive, you take in everything around you. And you're very truthful, way more than most people; you're also loyal though maybe more freely than Balthazar."

Jo giggled as I turned my gaze on her.

"You exude energy, not just physically but you have a very strong mind, soul, and personality. You're very vibrant and brave, you're protective and loving, mostly that has a very strong motherly like care to it. You care a lot and you protect what you love."

I sat for a moment before Dean propped his chin onto the table with a cheeky grin.

"What about me Cas?"

I swallowed thickly as I turned my gaze on him.

"You Dean Winchester are very hard to read. You love, deeply, very deep and you're a healer. You're compassionate and you have clarity, clairvoyant even. You're intuitive and nurturing enlightened and…"

I hesitated for a moment.

"Divine even, you're loyal beyond anyone else, the point of loyalness to a fault and you're head strong and…I could go on but that's good I guess."

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly and blushed.

Ash gave a low whistle and a knowing eye.

"Dayummm, you weren't joking man, like…at all. Do you see like, actual auras?"

I bit my lip and gave a slightly affirmative shrug.

Jo gave an indignant squawk."How come Dean got a waaaay longer synopsis of his inner gooiness or whatever?"

Dean brushed invisible lint off his shoulder with a self righteous smirk but I could see his spark of curiosity.

"Everyone has…different, auras I guess you could say, they're just like a fingerprint. Some people's are bigger or brighter or more complex, it just all depends on the individual and even what they're feeling at the moment."

Lime green panic zapped through Dean's glow like a lightning bolt. I cast him a surreptitious, worried glance.

"I mean it's not as if you can see every single passing thought and emotion, just stronger vibes and I guess you'd say moods."

A cool wash of periwinkle relief.

Jo crossed her arms to stare me down.

"Still doesn't s'xplain why Dean got the whole book of his glowiness."

I squirmed and tried to give my most charming smile.

"Dean has a complex aura."

Jo still looked discontent but the bell rang for 4th period and with great relief I made my escape to World Literature as Dean cast me an unreadable look and his aura remained pristine and shining, giving away nothing.

**So what did you guys think :D I'm not sure how long this fic is going to be, I never plan these things out and I post the chapters as I write them. I doubt it will be longer than five chapters, this was originally going to be a oneshot but damn I hit 8 pages and Dean wasn't anywhere near our precious Cas's pants so I surrendered to the plot bunny holding me hostage. Touché, monsieur touché **

**Anyways review and tell me what you think! I love hearing from you guys and hearing you're suggestions,nothing helps more than constructive criticism. If you guys have any awesome ideas to add awesome to the story or ya know, any awesome quirks you'd just love to see in the lemon let me know! C; **


	2. Eminence Purple

**So your guys' instant response for the story absolutely astounded me! I was not expecting to check my email this morning and have my inbox full of messages labeled fanfiction! Thank you guys 3 And since your response was instant I'm going to try and write as fast as I can!**

_Dean P.O.V_

I had walked into Comp 1 that morning and spotted Jo sprawled in a desk near the back before Jo had turned and introduced me to the dark haired guy I hadn't seen sitting beside her. She said his name was Castiel Novak and that he'd been homeschooled his entire life. The poor guy looked it. He sat slightly hunkered in his seat and his sapphire blue eyes were wide in what could have been panic.

He had a thin lithe build and dark tousled hair that instead of trying to comb down into vain submission he'd run some jell through for a tousled haphazard look. God he had gorgeous eyes and damn I felt a surge of panic at the thought. This had been happening lately, I'd be going about my own normal business when my brain would decide to whammy me with some damn vague thought or a lazy glance and shit…

I couldn't be gay…or bi…or anything remotely insinuating I was starting to think dudes were more attractive than chicks.

But with Cas I couldn't quite shake the thought because anytime he'd say something or grin at Jo and I'd feel an uncomfortable squirming in the pit of my stomach that I couldn't completely ignore.

When I finally got through the lunch line I saw the back of his dark hair and grey cargo jacket he was wearing. I flopped down beside Jo and in front of Ash before Jo began to interrogate Cas.

To be completely honest I didn't recognize a couple of the shows he mentioned but I would have had to been livin' under a rock if I didn't know Star Trek. And Sammy was obsessed with Doctor Who so I knew all about that weird British show.

Man the dude was sexy and geeky; I was starting to admit defeat in suppressing my gay thoughts. And homeschoolers were supposed to be like crazy smart right?

And then Jo asked him about his superpower and instead of pulling something out of his ass like any other person would have done that wasn't in our group he goes and spouts off something extremely intelligent and then proceeds to evaluate everyone at the table as if he were Sherlock Holmes. But the kicker is that he's spot on, like freaky mojo psychic spot on and I try not to let discomfort climb up my throat as he turns his way too bright for real life eyes on me.

And half the stuff he says I'd say was over exaggerated but then he mentions me being loyal to a fault and I think that maybe there is something supernatural to this guy because no one at this table knows the level of loyal he's talking about but I do, and no one but Sammy knows about that.

Jo interrogates the poor sap some more and I try not to blush when he explains that my supposed aura is more complex than everyone else's. Of course I'd get the jacked up glowiness.

Man life just couldn't give me a break.

Cas's P.O.V

I wound up merging into the misfit group rather smoothly all considering this was the most socializing I'd ever had. By the end of the week Jo was trying to drag me to some bonfire the group had a couple of times a month at Dean's uncle's house. Normally I would have gracefully declined but after seven years of solitude I was finding that maybe I was craving friendship after all.

And I had always assumed I'd never be able to have close friends. I always felt like I was cheating at life when I could see everyone's very soul and emotions, somehow it felt like I could hack the code to friendship. Instead of learning about someone through time and strife and mishaps and close quarters I could instantly tell things about that person they'd never told anyone before.

But all the guys had surprised me with the ease that they'd accepted my "superpower" and what that entailed. If anything it made everyone honest and blunt, no use hiding something when I could see it anyways.

And as I'd discovered through the week seeing the aura didn't give away as much of the person as I'd always thought. Sure I could identify the core components that made up a person, almost like ingredients of a recipe, Ash was made of intelligence and perceptiveness and a whole list of other things but I didn't know his quirks or what quite made him tick.

It was exhilarating to learn new things and I loved it when any of my newfound friends surprised me, which was often.

We sat at lunch on Friday in the usual seating arrangement that the group had adopted and I listened with amusement as Dean blessed Jo out.

"How can you possibly think Boston is better than Def Lepard?!"

I'm not sure if I'd ever heard someone so horrified over something that didn't entail maiming or death. Jo huffed and stabbed at the army spaghetti on her tray (a.k.a noodles and ketchup).

"It's true Dean, ask Cas!"

For some reason the entire group had labeled me as the walking pop culture dictionary, I had apparently read and watched more than any of the others and therefore had a broader range of interests and knowledge.

I threw my hands up in a placating gesture.

"I am not getting into this, don't drag me in!"

Jo hit my shoulder with her half empty bottle of coke.

"Casssssss, come onnnnnn."

Everyone had also adopted the nickname Dean had given me on Monday, I kind of liked it.

I let out a miserable sigh."Def Lepard is way better than Boston Jo."

Jo shrieked in horror and continued to hit me with the bottle while Ash laughed at my expense. The lid to the bottle came unscrewed slightly and coke splattered the table in a spray. Chuck shielded the comic page he was diligently coloring with markers while Balthazar recoiled violently.

This was a normal lunch period, I had discovered through the week.

Dean hi fived me behind Jo's back while she sniffed indignantly.

"So are you coming to the bonfire tonight Cas?"

I made a muffled startled sound around my mouthful of orange and pulled my cell phone from my back pocket.

"Crap, yeah, let me text my mom real quick though."

_Hey mom it's alright if I hang out with a few friends tonight right?_

The reply was almost instantaneous.

_Honey of course!Have fun and be safe xoxo_

I gave a thumbs up and Jo instantly flared with her almost signature shade of zesty lemon yellow. That bright of a shade was rare in anyone else, especially in an outer field but with Jo anything made her blossom with a glowing light, it was almost addicting, to be around someone so happy and to know it was genuine.

After school I climbed into Jo's beat up old truck. She had somehow convinced me to bum my way over to her mom's bar before we met up at the bonfire later that evening. Jo hummed along to the radio which was playing a soft rock country tune before she turned the volume dial down and shot me an amused look.

"So how much do you like Dean?"

I scratched the back of my neck at my hairline awkwardly.

"Is it obvious?"

She grinned. "Not too much but I'm the cupid so I usually notice these things."

I twisted my mouth into a sort of frown."I don't know him though, Jesus I don't know any of you guys, I just…"

"Can you really see auras, I mean you're crazy perceptive and intuitive but is that a natural thing or, like do you see literal glowiness?"

I gazed out the window as trees whizzed by and chewed on my lip.

"When I was a kid I died, just for a couple minutes before they brought me back but when I woke up I could see these colors around people, almost like I was seeing a different level of spectrum light. It's been years and sometimes I still don't quite know how to read people or know what some things mean. It's not like there's a reading auras for dummies series out there."

I was cast a sympathetic look before I could see curiosity lazily swirling near her shoulders.

"What does mine look like, I know you told me what it means but, like is it pretty?"

I let out a barking laugh and scrubbed a hand over my face wearily.

"Ya' know it's so strange, because they are beautiful, exactly like people, you get more exotic ones, rare ones and the like…Yours reminds me a lot of what you actually look like. You have warmer colors, lots of neon pinks, oranges and a lot of yellow, which is rare."

"Good rare or bad rare?"

"Good, definitely good, it's quite beautiful, very feminine yet strong, like you."

We grinned at each other for a moment before Jo pulled into a mostly empty parking lot and drove around to park behind the building. We sat for a moment after she had stopped the car.

"So I'm curious, I have to know, you very unwillingly hinted that Dean's aura is different, more complex…?"

I scratched my neck in embarrassment again.

"Like I said, I think auras are beautiful, I mean whatever you want to call what I have, it's a pain and I don't like being in crowds but sometimes…its wonderful being able to see the very core of people; of the basic characteristics and virtues of humanity, it's not always good, most of the time I see how ugly people are behind all the fake bravado and lies but sometimes I feel so…warmed inside if that makes any sense at the unexpected beauty of a person's soul."

"I'm guessing Dean's soul is beautiful than?"

I gave a breathy laugh and Jo's eyes scrunched up as she grinned at me.

"I've never seen anything like it. It's…the most beautiful aura I've ever seen, I mean I don't even know if I could begin to describe it, the equivalent of what it would be to you. Most people it's just a few colors and shades but his..."

I turned to face Jo seriously."Ya' know those HD pictures satellites take of galaxies and exploding stars and entire cosmos, it's just one picture but there's a thousand different colors all swirling and fading and they're colors but it's not flat like on a page, the color is basically made of light, they have depth and they shine."

Jo scrunched up her face and I huffed in frustration.

"In the pictures of earth you know how you can see the Earth's atmosphere and its blue but it…it's not just blue, it _glows._"

Jo's face was still scrunched up and she gave me a look."So he…glows?"

I sighed.

"Yes but it's not just a normal glow, it's like every color is in its purest form, made of light, the color glows from within itself, there's depth, almost like a 3D hologram and it's as if there's an entire galaxy of pulsing color and light and just…"

I growled in frustration at my lack of words and description.

"I'm not giving it justice in any way, but it's just…the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, he's made of a million shades of greens and blues and amber and like, melted gold and silver and starlight."

I flopped back in the seat, pursed my lips and crossed my arms over my chest.

"And I don't even know what to think or feel because I can hardly look at him without just wanting to gaze or drool, because that glowing mass that looks like the universe and starlight and freakin' like it would be a CGI effect on Lord of the Rings for magic is HIS SOUL! I mean the most beautiful thing in the universe…its…"

I stopped and just sort of gaped at Jo for a moment in awed disbelief and incredulity."That's this random teenage guy I met, his soul, is the most beautiful in the world, I just…I half feel in love with him just from that but then I think that I don't even remotely know _him._ If that makes any sense."

Jo blinked several times and cleared her throat."Wow…honey I don't even know what to tell you, just that Dean's been my best friend my entire life and without ever seeing his wonder of the universe mini galaxy glowiness I can tell you he's the best person I've ever met. I mean God he's a stubborn ass and he doesn't listen to anyone and he's such a masochist and angsty and a million other things but he's pretty most people that have been through the shit he's been through don't turn out like that, or remain as pure as you've insinuated."

"What shit has he been through?"

She bit her lip with a look that said she didn't really wanted to say anything but would anyway.

"He'll kill me if he knows I told you this but, Dean's mom when he was just a little kid was murdered by a serial killer, I mean utterly satanic shit that makes me want to puke just thinkin' it, and the serial killer had gone after Dean's younger brother Sam. I can't remember exactly, I think the guy had Sam for several weeks, oh what he did was so sick; I mean Sam wasn't even a year old yet so thank God he doesn't remember jack shit. I don't even know what all he did, the guy thought he was a demon escaped from hell and he was doing all sort of satanic rituals, I know when they finally got Sam he was almost starved to death, the guy had only been feeding him his blood and.."

Jo closed her eyes for a moment and shuddered. I could feel a cold chill wash over me as a sick feeling settled in the pit of my stomach.

"I mean Dean's dad wasn't the same, no one can blame him. Afterwards he became obsessed, the guy didn't get caught when they rescued Sam and John, he became obsessed afterwards. He wound up becoming part of the FBI and moving to DC. I mean he was obsessed, acted like he didn't even have kids to take care of that needed a parent."

She gave a sad sigh and shrug.

"As far as I know Dean hasn't seen John in about two years. Dean and Sam live with Bobby Singer, that's where we're going tonight. He's an old family friend, not actually their uncle but he's practically raised those two so he has more of a right to be called dad than John does."

I frowned."Did they ever catch the guy?"

Joe shuddered again."No, God it gives me the creeps just to think about it, I don't know much about John, I haven't seen him in years but I don't think him or anyone is close to finding the guy."

This raw feeling of nausea and cold horror seemed to settle over me. I ran a hand through my hair and pushed down the sick feeling.

"Jesus, it sounds like a horror story."

Jo's light blue eyes went sorrowful making her look way beyond her age for a moment.

"It really is, and if Dean's soul is like you describe…Christ, I can't even begin to imagine..."

We sat together in stunned silence for a moment before I let out a deep gust of air.

"I think I'm way in over my head here Jo."

She gave a grin and a much welcomed happy lemon glow filled the truck as she patted my knee.

"Don't worry honey; if there's one thing you share with Dean Winchester, you both know a good soul when you see one."

**So this chapter was much shorter because I wanted to get it out and see what you guys think. I threw in a little of Dean's pov but I don't think I'll do it again unless you really want, I'm just not feeling it for this story.**

**And hmmm…this might wind up being longer than I'd planned and so whoa plot twist that I randomly came up with that I wasn't expecting. I really want to run with this idea but I want to know what you guys think. Should I further this idea and give a thriller twist to the story because if you guys like the idea I think I have the rest of the plot laid out. But since this didn't start as a thriller/romance if you don't like it let me know and I'll try to tone down the murder mystery flavor,lol**

**Review and tell me what you think!Your opinions are important to me!**


	3. Tangelo Orange

**Thank you all for the amazing reviews!They add a bright side to my day!Sorry this chapter took a little longer, I retook the ACT on Saturday so I was busy cramming and I had vbs to babysit children all last week ^.^**

**Sorry this chapter is mostly just filler, I need a couple bridge chapters before the plot really starts to begin just to sequence out the timeline right. My playlist for this story is nothing but classic 80's mullet rock that only Dean would approve of ;D**

Jo and I made our way into her mother's bar. It was small and the walls were dark oak. A low counter took up the back brick wall and tables and booths littered the floor space. A neon red sign buzzed behind the counter that read Harvelle's in looping script. Underneath the sign was a woman that had to be Ellen, she looked exactly like Jo only a generation older. She wore a worn flannel shirt tucked into washed out jeans.

"Hey honey!"

"Hey mom"

Jo grabbed my arm and drug me over to her mother. I took a good look at the lazy swirling of colors surrounding Mrs. Harvelle. It was remarkable similar to Jo's, less yellow and an underlying tone of slate grey in places. She'd seen hard times and probably gone through a traumatic experience, maybe the death of someone close.

"Mom this is Cas, Cas this is my mom Ellen."

Ellen wiped her hands off on a rag and shook mine with a wide smile.

"Nice ta' meet ya' Cas, I've heard quite a bit about you the past week."

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Harvelle."

I thought she was going to split her side she started laughing so hard.

"Jesus Christ I haven't heard that one in a while, it's just Ellen son."

Jo grabbed us two cokes from the fridge and drug me upstairs to her room. It reminded me of the flats you saw in movies from New York; brick walls, wide plank wood floor. She had random posters of bands and movies, Phantom of the Opera, and Greenday.

She flopped on her unmade bed.

"So, how are we going to get you in Dean's pants?"

I snorted."Jo I'm pretty sure he's straight, if I get in his pants I'm borrowing them."

She threw her head back and howled.

"Dean, straight, ohmygod now there's a thought!"

I sat beside Jo."So he's gay?"

"Well I mean he swears up and down he's as straight as a ruler but that boy's been my best friend my whole life, straight boys do not, and I mean do not stare at other guys' asses. So you're gay I take it?"

I pursed my lips and leaned against the wall."Not really, I like attractive people, selectively, I'm extremely picky, Dean just falls into my category of attractive."

I received another howled laugh as she took a swig of her coke.

"That is the most chill and best explanation I've ever heard for being selectively bi."

I grinned and took a swig of coke.

"So you think Dean has gay tendencies?"

I received a highly amused stare over a coke bottle.

"Oh it's more than tendencies, but the real question is how are you going to seduce him?"

I stared down at my worn Star Wars t-shirt that had been my dad's and ill fitting jeans.

"Hell if I know, what does Dean even like?"

"Classic rock, that's something you have in common, he loves cars, action flicks, and he totally has a secret hard on for geeky stuff."

I felt an unexpected warmth pool in my chest as I smiled goofily.

"I think I've found my soul mate Jo."

She laughed as she jumped off her bed and opened her closet.

"So what you're wearing is geeky adorable but it's just not going to do, Dean's left about half his closet over here that doesn't fit him anymore, I wanna' see his reaction with you wearing his clothes."

She pulled a pair of faded jeans with the knees worn through out and chucked them at me over her shoulder. I held them up incredulously and outright laughed at the tag.

"Jo, these are like two sizes too small."

"Oh I know, that's the point, here try this." She chucked a worn thin grey blue shirt at me. I unwadded it and held it up.

"Blue Oyster Cult? How is he not missing this?"

"Have you seen his shoulders? He gave it up when he started lookin' like a drag queen wearing it."

I snorted and pulled my shirt over my head. Jo whistled with a wink.

"Dayummm boy, Dean doesn't stand a chance."

I gave a barked laugh as I pulled the shirt over my head. It strained slightly in the shoulders but fit nicely along the torso. I shook my head at the jeans but pulled them on anyways.

When I finally managed to button and zip them I laughed at the sight I must make. They were worn in the waist, hanging low on my hips but hugging my ass and thighs tightly.

"I feel like a street corner hooker Jo."

She smothered a laugh but twirled her index finger. I turned in a circle obediently with an eye roll. She whistled with a malicious grin.

"Ya look good enough to eat."

"Jesus Christ woman, what time are we going over there?"

Dean's P.O.V

Sammy and I sat out back in Bobby's junkyard. The sun was starting to set behind the tree line and the temperature was cooling to a comfortable chill. Chuck and Ash sat on an old bumper on the other side of the fire drinking beer. I was leaned back in a pile of three tires, my feet dangling in the air as I took a long draw from the bottle in my hand and listened idly to Quiet Riot blaring from a decrepit old boom box balancing precariously on the hood of an ancient rusted Camaro.

Jo's hunk of junk truck pulled up with a rumble before she cut the engine. She hopped out with a case of beer and a bag of marshmallows. I kept my eyes half slitted as I kept my gaze lazy when Cas's door opened and he hopped out. I was taking a long pull of beer when he emerged in front of the truck. I pulled it away with a jerk to keep from choking.

He was wearing an ancient shirt and jeans I'd almost completely forgotten about. The old BOC shirt pulled tightly across his wide shoulders and chest before fitting snugly along his long, lean torso. But my eyes fell to the pair of low slung tight fitting jeans barely hanging off sharp hips. My mouth went dry despite the copious amount of beer I'd just swallowed.

Jo dropped the beer and marshmallows by my tires with a wide and knowing smile directed solely for me. That little meddling bitch, I gave her a steely eyed glance of venom before giving Cas a wide smile.

"Cas, meet my brother Sammy, Sammy this is Cas."

Sam shot me an annoyed glance before giving Cas his patented puppy dog smile, dimples and all.

"It's Sam actually"

A look flashed through Cas's eyes before they brightened, practically glinting in the evening light and reflecting the nearby flames.

"Nice to meet ya' Sam."

At that moment I heard the screen backdoor slam and I craned my neck to see Bobby's stomping form quickly approaching.

"Dean Winchester!What did I say about alcohol?!"

I grinned cheekily."You said no underage drinking, everyone here is 18, expect Sammy but don't worry about goody two shoes."

Sammy flipped me off."Jerk"

"Bitch"

Bobby's thunderous face slackened a bit when his eyes fell on Cas.

He awkwardly stepped forward with an outstretched hand.

"Castiel Novak sir, nice to meet you."

Bobby gave a near cartoonish looking eye roll but he shook Cas's outstretched hand anyways.

"Bobby Singer, nice ta' meet ya' boy."

He raked his disapproving gaze over our mismatched group one last time with a snort and cast a grumbled "idgits" as he stomped back to the house. We all laughed as Cas and Jo took a seat on the hood of the Camaro by the boom box.

Balthazar would arrive late as usual. Later that night everyone had scooted closer to the fire. ACDC played in the background, several empty bottles littered the ground and we all lazily held long sticks over the fire, trying to cook marshmallows in our own ways.

Ash fried his to a charred black lump before he stuffed it in his mouth. Jo happily ate hers raw and Balthazar simply sipped at a beer. Chuck seemed to be slowly turning his like a rotisserie chicken with great concentration.

I stuffed a perfectly golden crisped gooey mass into my mouth and grinned widely at Jo, letting marshmallow ooz between my teeth. She scrunched up her face in disgust before I caught Cas's eye. His own mouth was full of a whole marshmallow he's just crammed down his throat. His eyes crinkled at my gooey smile and mirrored it with his own.

Cas's P.O.V

We all wound up hanging in Bobby Singer's junk yard till an ungodly hour. I drank a bottle of beer but stuck to soda after that, my first experience with hanging out late with friends didn't need to end in drunkenness; my parents would be positively thrilled at that. 80's rock blared continuously off the hood of an ancient rusted car. Jo had supplied marshmallows which we went through within minutes. I watched Dean with amusement as he sat in a pile of stacked tires, legs, torso and arms spilling out over the edges. He made a gorgeous sight wearing a pair of white washed jeans and thread bare with the knees completely worn through. He was sporting a Led Zeppelin t-shirt and scuffed up leather jacket.

My eyes strayed to glistening blue and shining ambers and emeralds. I noticed flecks of white silver sparkling in a splash of deep midnight blue swirling near his upturned boots bobbing in the air to REO Speedwagon. It looked like the very sky twinkling above us. A swirling of pink and yellow were misting in and out of his outer field. I think I'd found where Dean was his happiest. He laughed, throwing his head back to bounce on the tire rim as his eyes crinkled. Beer sloshed over his hand and his right foot had been continuously bobbing to the music all night.

Sam sat beside me relatively quiet compared to everyone else. In looks the two brothers didn't share much, Dean was all varying shades of gold, tan skin, lighter hair, big gorgeous green eyes fringed in long golden lashes that Jo had ranted about for an hour. He was slim but built with full lips and a jaw rivaling most comic book heroes.

But Sam was all long brown floppy hair and big brown puppy dog eyes and dimples. They did share the same smile, the rare kind most people didn't have that made your eyes crinkle and molars show and their eyes shine.

However Sam was surrounded by his own light show of swirling jeweled colors. Maybe not quite as bright as Dean, the colors were only less so than his, the mist kept closer to Sam, almost hugging his skin protectively. Dean's tended to wander, floating out and swirling around him as if he were the eye of a rainbow hued hurricane.

Ash had just made a joke about alien probing when Sam turned a curious gaze on me.

"So how did you start hanging out with this crowd?"

I grinned."I met Jo last week and she introduced me to everyone, just kind of happened to be honest."

"So what do you do? You seem to be good friends with Dean and Jo so is your thing cars?"

I snorted."I like cars but I don't know anything about them. I'm more of a bookworm nerdy guy."

I could positively see Sam's eyes brighten along with an almost violent flaring of happy curiosity and interest near his shoulders.

"A nerd, hanging with this bunch?! So what kind of stuff are you into?"…

… 1 hour later….

"But that's exactly why Zachary Quinto is such a phenomenal actor! He portrays such deep emotion within Spock, even if it is suppressed and then in Heroes he plays a complete psychopath."

"I still think Benedict Cumberbatch would have played a better Spock."

I shook my head indignantly. "But Benedict portrayed Khan perfectly, there was literally no one that could have been better, and that fight scene with Zach and Benedict was amazing…"

I trailed off awkwardly and looked up when I realized the group had gone quiet and was staring at Sam and me with amusement.

"What?!"

I noticed Dean's outer field was blooming with a light rosy pink; a curious mix of affection and platonic love that I couldn't quite decipher. He gave me a toothy grin.

"Dude you guys are such nerds."

Sam snorted and shot Dean a scathing glance, one I had seen Dean give Jo many times, it must be genetic.

"Dude yesterday you were spazzing about the new Hobbit movie coming out."

"Awwww come on, it's a classic man!Hobbits and magic and shit!"

I covered a laugh with a cough.

"And last week you were mooning about your man crush on Jack Harkness."

"He's cool!And I don't have a mancrush!"

"Who went and saw the new Iron Man 3D opening night?"

By this point Dean was nearly flailing in his tire tower and he chucked an empty beer bottle at Sam, which he easily evaded.

"It's Iron Man dude!"

I finally couldn't cover my laughing and the whole group was pretty much openly mocking Dean. He glared and dismissed our cackling with a flip of his hand.

"You guys are assholes, leave me alone."

Jo slipped off the log she'd been perching on and laughed even harder until all of us were nearly on the ground with her. Dean jutted out his bottom lip and glared under furrowed eyebrows while he crossed his arms petulantly over his chest.

Someone might or might not have pissed themselves, we never found out.

I stumbled through my front door at nearly 1 am blearily. I was quietly padding for the stairs when I noticed the tv in the living room was on. I ducked my head in to see my dad half asleep, slumped on the couch watching some God awful reality show.

"Dad why don't you go to bed?"

He blinked tiredly at me with a smile.

"Wanted to see how it went for you."

I leaned against the doorframe and laughed."It was a bonfire not a party."

"It's still big for you, I'm glad you've made friends so easily."

I bit my tongue to keep a smartass comment about not being 5 down. I often forgot how I must look to my parents. They never understood why I had drawn away and become so introverted after my almost drowning. Sure initially it had been a scarring experience but I'd hated to even go to Walmart afterwards, too many people.

I had gotten my own form of socializing, through movies, books, and tv I could fall in love and hate with all these characters. I could get to know them and become friends with them and follow their stories, and I could be a normal person that way. I didn't have to see their souls and every deep seated drive and emotion; they could just be them and for a time I could ignore normal life around me in lieu of other worlds where that didn't exist for me.

My parents never liked my media obsession, they always said it was unhealthy; I didn't have friends or acquaintances. Even in my special situation it was unhealthy, I could admit that. But people had scared me so much; especially when the greater percentage of the world was so terrible and corrupted. It was terrifying for me as a kid to be able to see that, how awful most people really were inside, I had to face reality way sooner than most kids, hell sooner than most adults.

But I had missed out on so much. In my fear of people in general I'd forgotten that small percentage of good. Now after just a week and a small taste of friendship I was beginning to realize just how much I'd missed out on for years. I think I'd be grateful to my parents for the rest of my life for their decision, loath as I'd been a week ago to embrace humanity.

So instead of being a smartass teenager I smiled tiredly.

"Yeah me too, well I'm beat n' I'm gonna head for bed, you should hit the sack too old man."

He snorted as he clicked off the tv and light before bumping my shoulder with his as we walked down the hall.

"So what are these friends of yours like?"

I grinned."Crazy, mom would so not approve, you should meet them."

"Thank God, I was worried they'd all be a bunch of shut in mathletes."

I rubbed my temples and laughed.

"Oh Jesus, definitely not."

He patted me on the back as he opened the master bedroom door quietly.

"Night son."

"Night dad."

**So when Cas is eye raping Dean and going off on his usual monologue about how gorgeous his soul is my playlist started playing Can't Fight this feeling anymore. I almost added it in because it was such a hilariously perfect moment but I resisted the corniness ;D**

**I think I'm going to make Cas's dad a mainish character. What with Cas in the show having loved God so much and searching so hard for him because he wanted, needed his father back I wanted to give him that special connection he'd wanted in the show. Plus John won't play a big part in this, he'll mostly stay in DC so I wanted a close father figure for the boys.**

**And who loves nerdy Cas and Sammy bonding eh?Just me because I can just see those two going on a several hour ranting spew like I tend to you know Dean is just like awwwwww**


	4. Amaranth Pink

**I'm sorry this chapter took forever to get out!My internet stopped last week and it's terrible!This is getting uploaded at my public library so updates are going to be a bit farther in-between than they were. Thanks for all the lovely reviews!I'd respond to every one but it's a miracle this story is getting updated as it is with me living in the stone ages!**

**My new cover photo is by the amazing Pilgrimwanders on Deviantart. She's doing an art collab for me with this check her awesome stuff out!She's not caught up on the Spn fandom though and her stuff is mostly Red vs Blue if any of you are into that:)**

**Cas P.O.V**

**2 Months Later…**

"Ow!Ow!Jo quit!"

I watched with amusement as Jo dug her nails into Dean's bicep leaving white half moon indentions. She crossed her arms with a pout.

"Come onnnnnn, we dress up every year!"

"Jo I'm almost 18, don't you think we're a little old for Halloween costumes?"

Everyone at the table voiced no in unison including Balthazar much to my surprise. Although he was probably just agreeing to disagree with Dean, he liked to do that just on principal most of the time. Jo turned on me like she usually did when Dean wouldn't agree with her on something.

"Cassssssss, tell Dean he's not too old to wear a Halloween costume!"

I pursed my lips for a moment.

"What costume are you wanting him to wear?" I watched Dean's eyes widen in horror behind Jo's back when he seemed to realize I wasn't completely opposed to the idea. Jo grinned evilly.

"A stripper!"

I smirked. "I don't think you're too old for Halloween costumes Dean."

If Dean face palmed he probably would have in that moment. Jo talked around a mouthful of pizza.

"But seriously guys, I'm dragging you all to Lucifer's party. And you're all dressing up." She shot all of us a dangerous look but it was the sheer determination radiating from her aura that gave me any real fear. Dean just rolled his eyes while Chuck began to splutter nervously. Ash wasn't at lunch today for some unknown reason, probably hacking the school computers to change his gym grade, no one had been kidding about his mad computer skills.

Two months had seemed to come and go in the blink of an eye. I could hardly believe Halloween was in a week. My classes had really been a blur compared with my now blossoming social life. Every other Friday night we had bonfires at Dean and Sam's. Jo was usually dragging me to her mom's bar to hang out at least once a week. She'd been threatening to take me shopping for almost a month but hadn't followed through yet. And when Jo wasn't threatening me with trips to the mall she was threatening disembodiment if I didn't make a move on Dean soon.

Making a move on Dean wasn't near as simple as it sounded. For one no matter how much Jo swore up and down that boy was not gay. I'd seen door frames less straight than that him; he exuded testosterone and manliness in way that you couldn't argue against. And even cutting out the whole awkward not attracted to something with a dick part of the issue I didn't know anything about attracting someone.

Hell I'd never had a friend before the beginning of the school year. The extent of my knowledge on -romance came from my movies, tv-shows and books. Oh yes, I completely trusted Hollywood to woo Dean Winchester. I needed a book titled How to Make the Straightest Man in the World Fall in Love With You. The title may have been a little long but it would have been vastly helpful none the less.

Jo was constantly telling me to do embarrassing things that every once in a while I followed through with. She was always trying to get me to wear Dean's old clothes he'd left over at her house that I had no clue how she expected me to squeeze into. Yeah, because wearing ancient jeans and hole filled t-shirts was soooooo going to seduce Dean. No that was more his forte of clothing, the whole 80's mullet rock t-shirts, holy jeans and leather jackets, it looked damn good on him. I tended to like more sleek dressy clothes, stuff from Express that I couldn't really afford.

Honestly I hadn't expected my crush to grow this strong. Sure his aura was…just beyond words. An entire galaxy of light and beauty that I could gaze at all day, but a person's soul is different from their every day mannerisms and habits, what makes you actually like a person. But I don't know if there was anything I didn't like about Dean.

Ignoring the whole glorious beyond understanding soul for a moment there were so many things I loved about him and found attractive. His love and knowledge about cars, especially old hot rods, when he started on a rant about them or his "baby", a 67 Chevy Impala, his eyes would positively light up with his aura. He was so passionate about his music and good food. I'd been completely shocked to find out he secretly liked to read. He was so embarrassed by things like that, anything that insinuated geekiness or being intelligent. For some strange reason he liked the image of a kind of dumb macho jock that liked nothing more than booze, cars and boobs.

But he was so smart; it was Jo that told me he had a 4.0 without trying. But he never even mentioned his classes, in fact I'd got the feeling he hated school. He always talked so lovingly about Sam and how Sam was the smart one, how Sam was going to make something of himself and be a bigwig lawyer some day. But Dean was just as smart as Sam in different ways. He was engineer material with how great he was with cars and machines and understanding things like that.

I loved to just sit and listen to him go on and on about these gorgeous old cars he was so passionate about and how they just "don't fuckin' make 'em like that anymore Cas." He had real potential to make something great of himself. But he had such low self worth; he didn't think he was anything remotely special or that there was really anything likable about him. I just couldn't figure out why he had no self confidence. Sure he always wore a cocky aura (not the real one, just what everyone else could see) but I could see underneath the beauty of his soul how unsure of himself he really was.

It made me ache for him. I wanted to comfort him and shake him, make him realize he was this something of greatness and beauty. You don't meet people like that every day. That's the kind of person they make movies about saving the world and holding the weight of the world on their shoulders not because they want to but because it's right and he had a masochist hero complex. He was the kind of guy romance movies were about; he was that one person you searched the whole planet for because he was one in a billion and so special and soul mate material. He was the kind of guy you'd meet once and never forget for the rest of your life because there was just something about him that stuck with you, left an imprint on you, made you want stick with him even if you really couldn't explain why.

God I sounded like a swooning girl but I couldn't help it. I was old enough to know what a little crush was. I knew how the scale system worked on the strength of feelings. In complete honesty it was starting to scare me how much I liked Dean. It wasn't that usual teenage crush where you moon and giggle and want them to be your boyfriend. It wasn't a light fluttery feeling in my chest or mere sweaty palms and blushes.

It was at the level that at times it didn't feel good. It hurt a little to feel so much. It wasn't butterflies in the stomach but a sort of crushing weight on my shoulders like I was drowning in it. There was an almost literal pressure in my chest. I'd never understood the saying about your heart squeezing. It was one of those things you chalk up to a metaphorical saying about love but it wasn't. It was a pressure on my diaphragm that made it impossible to breathe right.

I couldn't talk half the time around him. He'd walk in a room when I wasn't expecting it and my pulse would skyrocket and jump in my throat. I'd never had the pulse racing reaction before but God I could hardly function around him let alone control higher body capacities like complex thinking and ya' know, breathing.

I didn't like feeling this much, caring this much for someone who couldn't return the emotions. I was setting myself up for heart break. And yes I hated that saying, I wasn't a romantic person but it had reached the level that it would qualify at heart break. But it's not something you can just turn off or even remotely suppress; love was a painful thing…..

No…not love…just a crush; I'd only known him for 2 months after all.

God I needed a distraction.

"Hey Jo, what do you think about taking that trip to the mall?" Her entire being lit up with yellow. Dean cocked an eyebrow at me.

"You're willingly letting this demon take you shopping? I wish you all the luck and pity in the world."

After school I climbed into Jo's truck and we rumbled down the road. For a few moments we sat quietly listening to some random really shitty rock tune play on the radio before Jo finally huffed and turned the knob down.

"So why the sudden need for girl time huh?"

"I just need to not think about Dean for a while." There must have been something in my voice, maybe the way it shook dangerously that had her dropping by Starbucks for chick drinks. I silently accepted a caramel frappuccino and brooded over it gratefully.

"So I guess my method of seduction isn't working for you?"

"It isn't so much that, I don't think any method is going to work I just, it's not me."

When we got to the mall I had to almost forcefully drag Jo past the outfitters and weird preppy beach stores. She seemed to finally guess my destination and took my arm and waltzed us into Express. I refuse to divulge just how much time I spent willingly in that store. That is for Jo and me to know only.

But I will divulge that I spent several hundred dollars after Jo pulled a 50% off coupon up on her phone. I bought several pairs of dark wash and light wash on sale jeans that Jo approved of. But what I loved most was the pair of black slacks, three sleek button downs and black leather belt with a charcoal chrome square belt buckle. I was turning into the stereotypical gay guy and I couldn't be bothered to care.

I got up early Friday morning with an almost optimistic apprehension if that made any sense. I showered and jelled my hair into tousled wild spikes and pulled on a pair of my new jeans and one of my nicer black t-shirts. I put on some outrageously expensive cologne Jo had somehow convinced me to buy and yet I couldn't quite figure out how. When I thundered down the stairs I was surprised to see Gabe sitting at the kitchen table.

"Woahhhh, little bro, what has you lookin' so damn fine this morning?"

I ignored him while pouring myself orange juice.

"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be terrorizing freshman in your dorm?"

I noticed a blossoming of light dusty rose; Gabe's sort of signature color when he was feeling especially fond of me.

"Yeahhhhhhh, I guess, I just wanted to swing by, mooch some home cooked breakfast and see how you were doing."

I turned away from the fridge with surprise. That was a halfway serious tone, Gabe didn't talk serious, he avoided it like the plague and chick flicks. I narrowed my eyes as he squirmed a little under my soul searching scrutiny. I cast him a confused glance.

"Why are you worried about me?"

"I'm not worried …so much as curious. Dad said he and mom have hardly seen you lately. I was just wonderin' what you've been up to?" He punctuated the last statement with an uncomfortable shrug and swirl of dark green.

I laughed and leaned against the counter.

"Did Dad now say he's hardly seen me because I've been hanging out with friends?"

Gabe's eyebrows nearly hit his hairline.

"Friends, you, nahhhhhhh."

I sat at the table and cuffed him over the head.

"Asshat, yes I have friends."

"Name one."

"Dean Winchester." The name slipped out instantly.

Gabe smirked at me with a knowing twinkle in his eyes. Honestly he could read people as well as me; it wasn't fair considering his ability was sheer natural talent. He was majoring in psychology for a reason I suppose.

"I remember him, hangs out with a short blonde chick. Do we have ooie gooie feelings little bro?"

I blushed and silently took a gulp of orange juice. He gave an amused smile.

"Awwwww, how cute, look he's getting all grown up, having crushes and everything. How much you like the guy?"

"Too much" I muttered sullenly.

His eyes darkened.

"He treatin' ya like shit cuz I'll rough him up if he's done something to ya'."

"Dean? God Gabe chill, Dean's one of my best friends, he hasn't done anything."

He relaxed and grinned.

"Good, so you dating him?"

I gave a morose sigh."No, he's straighter than a ruler."

"Rulers bend."

I threw my head back and laughed, just let it all out and laughed like I only could when Gabe was around. When I finally calmed down I glanced at the clock and stood.

"Well I missed the bus because of you so I'm kidnapping you for a ride."

He sighed dramatically but stood and grabbed the keys to his little black Toyota that he lovingly called the flea.

He rolled the windows down and blared Supermassive Black Hole into the school parking lot. I hid my head under the window and moaned.

"You are the most humiliating human being in the world."

He only cackled as I bolted out of the car praying no one was seeing this. But someone had my name on a black list because I heard Dean shout several cars over.

"Dude why are you running?"

I sighed in defeat and made my way over to Dean's Impala. I grimaced and ran a hand through my hair before stopping when I remembered I'd actually tried to fix it this morning.

"My brother is a moron. I didn't want society witnessing that I'm related to him."

I took him in as he leaned against the door of his car. He wore a pair of ratty jeans with the knees worn through and an old band t-shirt with the letters so worn I couldn't identify the lettering. He wore his usual leather jacket, black converse and aviators. I felt that slight breathless feeling whenever I first got near him along with the usual ball of heat that settled in my stomach. He was like a walking advertisement for sexual attraction.

Dean hmmed in amusement as we walked to the front doors. As we walked in comfortable silence I furrowed my eyebrows when I saw movement in Dean's aura out of the corner of my eye. I titled my head slightly to see a weird shade of pink swirling around his midriff. I'd seen the color many times before, just not on Dean. It was almost violet pink and such a neon shade my throat suddenly closed and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth.

For the rest of the day I watched with avid interest as deep shades of florescent hot pink swirled in and out of his normal sapphires and emeralds. He wasn't acting any different, especially towards me, and that made my stomach clench in cold dread. This wasn't an exact science, I could see Dean's new romantic attachment but to whom I didn't know. Considering nothing had changed towards me I could only assume naturally that I wasn't somehow Dean's fixation. And that just made my stomach churn.

Sure Dean would sometimes have a brief flash of violets and pinks in his outer field. But I'd always gotten the feeling he was suppressing the feelings and shoving them away. I'd never been able to get a firm reading of them; they would come and go in a blink. But something had happened because he sure as hell wasn't suppressing anything anymore.

I literally spent the entire day with my pulse jumping around and my stomach tied up in twisted sick feeling knots. I sat down at lunch in front of Ash and picked at my food but didn't eat anything. Jo plopped down beside me all sunny rays of yellow and sporting a large toothy grin as usual. Balthazar and Chuck sat and finally Dean plopped down on Jo's other side.

I listened quietly as Chuck and Ash argued over the most scientifically probable and possible superpowers. Normally this was one of my areas of interest but at that moment Dean shot a twinkle eyed smile Jo's way as his aura bloomed with that gut wrenching shade of violet and my stomach gave a violent roll. I literally felt nauseated. That was a strong shade. As in I'd seen married couples who didn't show colors that bright and strong.

And those beautiful, terrible shades of fuchsia, magenta, carmine, and amaranth, they were for _her_. Everyone's voices faded into white noise as I sat stunned. Sure Dean had always had a special connection with Jo. They'd been best friends for years after all and Dean even had his own special shade of pink just for her but I'd always assumed that was platonic sibling love, the shade was very similar to what was solely reserved for Sam. Those brief flares and half a second flashes of something more that Dean had stomped down on, they'd been suppressed feelings to someone I'd thought he viewed as his _sister!_

This was….devastating. That feeling of plunging off the cliff on a roller coaster and leaving your stomach behind, that was what I felt. I suddenly felt Jo shaking my arm as I came back to reality.

"Cas, Cas are you okay? You just got really pale, are you sick."

I glanced up to everyone's worried faces, especially Dean's. I plastered on a fake smile.

"Nah I'm fine, school hot dogs just kind of induce that reaction." Everyone laughed and went back to arguing over whether super strength or mind reading was more plausible. I continued to pick at my food for a moment before I realized Dean's worried eyes still lingering on me. I gave him my best smile although it wavered dangerously. He didn't look convinced but went back to his conversation with Jo.

I sat for a moment blinking and took a deep breath. Oh God, I couldn't do this.

**Woah, sorry guys, this chapter came out way more angsty than I'd anticipated. But no worries, all shall be right with the world in the end. And sorry my absolute love for the store Express showed its colors!Speaking of colors, I'm sure you've noticed my chapter names, the colors I correlate with the feel of each chapter. Go look them up ;) I'm finding the pretty ones.**

**Sorry the past couple of chapters have been pure filler. The plot should get rolling soon. I can at least promise some progress with the romantic situation within the next couple of chapters…maybe (hides behind couch)**

**You know the drill, review, review, review!**


	5. Slate Gray

**Thanks for all of your amazing reviews my lovelies 3 I'm trying to get these updates out faster but with no internet it's just going tons slower. I'd love to respond to each review and thank you guys personally but I just don't have the time when I go to the library, however I send you all much love and thanks! :) **

Castiel's P.O.V

That afternoon I caught the bus home. It was terrible for me to admit but I just couldn't bear to talk with Jo at the moment. It was almost four by the time I glumly slammed the front door and trudged into the kitchen. I gave a start as my dad looked up from the vintage car magazine he was reading at the counter.

"Dad, your home early!"

"Didn't mom tell you? Oh well my lab needed some remodeling, new air units and such so they have me in a temporary space and I can't work on my project for the next week so I'll be home early for a while."

Dad was a genetic biologist at a low key corporation. To be honest as a kid it had sounded terribly exciting and important but from what I could make heads from all he really did was stare at slides under a microscope and pour over data.

I slid onto a stool and laid my head on the counter.

"What's got you in such a shlump, girl problems?"

It wasn't that I was really purposefully in the closet, if you could even call it that, most everyone but my parents knew. I wasn't even really trying to hide anything; it had just always seemed a private awkward matter that I had no clue how to bring up in conversation. Neither of my parents were anything remotely near homophobic but up until now it had never been an important matter, especially with me being home-schooled.

I morosely shook my head and nudged a lone grape that had fallen out of the fruit bowl. He didn't raise his eyes from the picture of a 60's Mustang but one eyebrow slowly arched, a fine talent I had inherited.

"Guy problems?"

I pressed my lips together and said nothing. He pushed the magazine away and stared me down.

"So it is guy problems…huh, why haven't you said anything before?"

I buried my face in my crossed arms.

"There was never the right opportunity; it's not something you bring up at dinner."

He shrugged before getting up and retrieving two beers from the fridge and slid one to me.

"Just don't tell your mother or she'll have me on the couch for a month. So who's the guy?"

I took a long swig of beer and sighed.

"Dean"

"Oh, "the" dean huh, how long has that been going on for?"

I picked at the label on my bottle.

"Since I met him I suppose."

"And I'm guessing from your long face he doesn't share the sentiment?"

I continued to peel the label off in small shreds.

"Nope, he likes Jo…a lot."

He suddenly looked confused and ran a hand through his dark unruly hair, another thing I had inherited.

"I thought you said Dean and Jo were like siblings, rather incestuous for siblings don't you think?"

I chuckled and took another miserable swig of beer.

"Apparently not." I sighed and rubbed a hand tiredly over my eyes. I continued to pinch the bridge of my nose as I felt a headache coming on for a few minutes before he asked.

"How much do you like him, I doubt its minor with the way your acting?"

I bit my lip and rubbed the heels of my hands against my temples.

"I'm not sure but Dad…"

"Yes son?"

"I'm scared"

He stood and wrapped my shoulders in an awkward sideways hug.

"Hey buckup kiddo, did I ever tell you how your mom and I got together?"

I furrowed my eyebrows as he retreated to his own side of the counter and we retained our manliness.

"Sort of"

"Well you know we met in college but I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned we were best friends for three years. Oh man was I friend zoned, and I was so in love with her. It all makes for a nice dramatic movie but the fact is it doesn't feel like some stupid chick flick when it's happening to you. It's painful and all that wishy washy crap about frolicking through fields of daisies from the euphoric feeling of love is nothing but bullshit."

I couldn't help but grin as he took a gulp of beer.

"Honestly I was quite miserable until your uncle Luke told me if I didn't ask her out he would, and I thought what the hell so I did."

He punctuated the last point with a shrug.

"I can't tell you how long she even felt that way towards me, I still don't have a clue but the fact is, while you might feel a bit hopeless, miserable and melodramatic now, you never know what can happen son."

I sat for a moment quietly before I groaned.

"But mom was a woman, at least you didn't have to question whether she was even attracted to your sex or not!"

"Wellllllll…"

At that moment my mom walked through the door with her arms full of groceries and a stern look on her face.

"You better watch how you answer that."

I grinned at the blossoming of deep magenta in both of their auras. I was lucky, that I knew, to actually have parents with a love story, and that were still in love. It was nice to have a little of the American dream for my life, we may not have a white picket fence and I was as abnormal as they came but I was forever more grateful at knowing what marriage and parents should be like.

I helped pull spaghetti noodles and lemons out of a bag as my mom hip bumped me and smiled warmly, a light pink glow swirling around her to brush against my arm. I'm sure I was glowing in turn.

"So what were you two talking about to bring up college stories for?"

"It seems our son is in love."

"Oh Dear, I'm not prepared for more girls, isn't Gabriel enough?"

I squirmed as dad sent me an amused smirk.

"Actually its boys you'll have to worry about now."

Mom stopped with a can of green beans in one hand and macaroni in the other.

"Oh…OH!"

She giggled and kissed me on the head, making me stoop a little so she could do so.

"Well that's a little change I can deal with, Oh thank God we don't have to worry about you getting anyone pregnant!"

"Mommmmmmm"

~oOo~

I'm not saying it got easier but as the week went on I got a little better at dealing with it. It still sucked, and I was trying extremely hard to not glare at Jo and be a bad person. She didn't feel the same way as Dean and she didn't have a clue and I'm sure if I told her she would be horrified beyond imagining. God when had my life taken a turn for such drama and angst? Jesus if this went on I could give Downton Abbey a run for its money.

We sat at lunch on Friday. I couldn't quite decipher the argument Ash and Chuck were having, I think it had something to do with cellular regeneration but honestly I'd lost track of what evidence they were even using. Jo and Balthazar were arguing over American Eagle or Hollister for what reason I couldn't guess. I amused myself by listening to both arguments and poking my squares of green jello. Why was it always green? Wasn't that the worst flavor, would it kill them to go for red or blue?

I immediately lost interest in my jello though when Dean kicked my shin under the table.

"You coming to the bonfire tonight."

I tried not to look too offended by the question.

"Of course, why?"

He grinned lazily and I tried not to let my eyes wander to the varying shades of pink oozing in and out of his normal aura.

"Well Jo has an eye appointment today so I wondered if you just wanted to come home with me and Sam?"

I felt my pulse jump and I firmly tried to slow it.

"Oh yeah that sounds fine."

He grinned his megawatt smile.

"Great, we can bug Sammy together."

I swear time slows when your sweating and nervous and antsy as hell because the rest of the day crawled by. When the final bell rang I made my way out to the parking lot and easily spotted Dean's baby. It really was a sweet ride, I wasn't an expert on cars like my dad or Dean but I knew a sexy car when I saw one. And speaking of sexy, I watched Dean sling his backpack in the back seat and hop in.

I opened the passenger door a bit uncertainly and climbed in. I'd been around the car plenty but up till this point I'd never rode in it. I closed the door and took a deep breath. God the car smelt amazing, it reeked of Dean's cologne and natural smell, deep and musky. God was there anything about him I didn't like? Dean grinned and peeled out of the parking lot.

"So what have you been up to this week?"

"Nothing much, I don't lead a very exciting life, I usually just read and watch stuff when I go home."

He grinned and I stared out the window to avoid being in such close proximity with the swirling vortex of colors filling the car. Dean shifted and cleared his throat.

"Do I make you uncomfortable or somethin' Cas?"

I jerked my eyes away from the window to shoot him a startled look.

"What?No, why?"

"Well it's just most people make more eye contact than you do, or at least look at the person ya' know."

I flicked my eyes to his and smiled.

"No I don't have a problem with eye contact, I just try not to stare too much, it makes people uncomfortable."

"Makes them or you uncomfortable because of what you can see?"

I shrugged and tried to maintain my cool.

"Mostly me, but I do tend to make people squeamish when I stare."

Dean laughed as he turned into the middle school parking lot.

"Heck yeah, your stare burns to the core of your soul man."

I didn't know quite how to take that so I ignored the comment and stared out the window only to flinch. Dean jerked his eyes towards me and frowned.

"What's wrong?"

I nodded my head out the window and swallowed thickly.

"You don't know that man do you?"

Dean leaned forward and peered out at the unremarkable looking brunette man leaning casually against a stop sign looking at his cell phone.

"Uhhh, no dude, why?"

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply.

"No reason in particular, just if he approaches you don't talk to him."

He gave me a queer look as he pulled up in the pickup zone behind a mauve minivan and shifted the Impala to park.

I threw one last glance at the man and shivered. This was my year for pushing the limits of auras I'd seen. As far on the spectrum of Dean's being beautiful that man's had been the most frightening. Even a little gray or black was worry enough for anyone but that…God it'd been as black as coal, dull, flat, so ugly and twisted. Jesus Christ but what could do that to a person?

I jumped slightly as the backdoor wrenched open and Sam flung himself in before slamming the door. Dean grumbled.

"Be easy on my babe, she doesn't need you being rough on her."

Sam rolled his eyes as he buckled.

"You and your cougars Dean."

"Bitch"

"Jerk…high Cas"

"Hi Sam"

"So have you watched Superman yet?"

"No not yet, I didn't get the chance last weekend, I might try for tomorrow."

"Would you mind if I tag along?"

Dean huffed and turned up the radio which was blaring a classic rock station.

"Of course he minds Sammy, nobody wants to babysit you."

"I think Sam might have been potty trained at this point Dean."

Sam stuck his tongue out in triumph while Dean shook his head and rolled his eyes.

The rest of the ride to Bobby's was filled with Dean and Sam squabbling and the occasional comment thrown my way to take sides. I'd never actually been inside the house. When we had bonfires out in the trash yard Bobby seemed to guard the back door like an angry dog grumbling about not wanting trashed teenagers stampeding through the house. Which seemed a little unfair, none of us ever got trashed, we usually only drank two or three beers a piece.

Dean slammed through the front door and I followed at a less charging pace. Sam closed the screen door carefully with a long suffering sigh while Dean hollered on his way to the kitchen.

"Bobby we're home!"

I trailed after Dean to the kitchen while Sam wandered upstairs. The house was old and cluttered with faded wallpaper and thin carpet but it was clean. Dean seemed to be rummaging through the fridge while Bobby stomped in.

"Boy you're like a black hole, didn't you eat at school?"

Dean poked his head above the fridge door and grinned.

"Of course I ate at school."

Bobby grumbled to himself before he gave me a nod.

"How ya' doin' son?"

I ran a hand through my hair and resisted the urge to fidget.

"I'm doing well, how bout you sir?"

"Good Lord, did you hear that Dean! Ha, I'd like to see such politeness from you."

Dean rolled his eyes and handed me a can of coke before jerking his head to the stairs.

"Ya' want to go upstairs Cas?"

I shrugged awkwardly and followed him to his room. To be honest I don't know what I was expecting his room to look like. It was neat, there was a pair of jeans and t-shirt thrown in one corner but other than that it was clutter free. There were a couple posters up, all of classic hot rods, a 1970 Buick, a 60's Mustang and a 1969 Camaro, I did know a little from my dad.

There was a record player next to an ipod dock and speakers. Beside his unmade bed was a tall bookshelf. Two shelves were filled with vinyl and the rest much to my utter surprise were stuffed with books. I knew he liked to read but I didn't expect him to actually own any besides maybe stuff on cars and bands. Curiosity peaked I wandered over only to gape.

"Dude, you own Sherlock Holmes….and CHARLES DICKENS!"

Dean rubbed his neck and gave a lopsided smile as his aura bloomed with embarrassment.

"Yeah I guess it's kind of sad huh?"

I squatted and peered at his bottom shelf.

"Sad…this is awesome!Dude you own…is that Pride and Prejudice?"

Both his ears and outer field blushed hot pink.

"I swear that one is Sam's, our books tend to get jumbled up."

I laughed and stood.

"It's alright, I've read a bit of Austen, can't say I enjoyed it but I have. You read any Tolkien?"

"No, Sam keeps trying to get me to, I'm sort of holding out on principal."

I cocked an eyebrow and grinned.

"If I lend you my books will you read them?"

There was more blushing, God was reading and geekiness his darkest secret or something?

"Well yeah, just don't tell Sam or I'll never hear the end of it."

I hesitated a moment before sitting on the very edge of his bed. Dean grinned and flopped down beside me.

"I can't believe you and Sam are turning me into a nerd."

"Nothin' to be ashamed of, I can freely admit I like some of the corniest and nerdiest stuff out there."

"How corny are we talking?"

I snorted and put my can of coke on the floor.

"Star Trek, Star Wars, the oooold Doctor Who's, stuff that makes normal people want to bang their head against something hard."

Dean chuckled.

"I'm not there yet, Sam's made me watch a few of the new Doctor Who's but I've not watched older stuff, Bobby was never a nerd so he doesn't have any classic stuff from his generation."

"It's called Netflix Dean."

I received a slightly scandalized glance.

"Don't patronize me nerd, I don't have time to sit around and watch all the history of entertainment like you do!"

"You fiddle with your cars, I pride myself on pop culture; we all have our hobbies."

"Fiddle!Fiddle!"

I laughed and ducked to avoid flailing limbs.

"Fine, fine, your rebuilding and professional knowledge on cars!"

Dean smirked and crossed his arms.

"And you better believe it."

**Sorry for another filler but there were a couple of needed happenings. I want to show Cas's connection with his parents in this story, in a lot of ff people tend to forget about the parents and it always makes things less realistic. And I want Cas's dad to play a big part, any of you guys have any ideas for his name?**

**Annnnd I've introduced our antagonist, dun, dun, dun. Let our slide into the dramatics begin!**


	6. Sheer White

**As always thank you for the reviews my lovelies. Also thank you shellydiann and Crazygirl8243 for the name ideas!Again I apologize for my updates taking two blue billion years, I had the last chapter written up a week before I could post it since I'm living in the stone ages :( **

**Annnnnd to switch things up…the beginning of this chapter is NOT from Cas or Dean's pov.**

**Ooh and rating for language goes up in this chapter because Dean gets pissed, and my angry Dean has a bad mouth ;) **

~oOo~

So many years, so many years of planning, waiting, plotting and skulking in the shadows. I had made one mistake, one miniscule misstep that I abhorred with every fiber of my being. How could I have been so careless, so unprofessional at something of such utter and magnificent importance? My father would be so displeased, that I knew, and I would gladly pay penance for my sins when the time came, for that I had wasted much of in my mistake.

Years had passed, I was almost forgotten now. I was nothing more than a shadow, a nightmare long ago dulled by age and memories faded into hazy dreams. Oh but I was smart, I had made a mistake, but I learned from it, and oh how wise I had grown. I was the spider sitting patiently in my web, crouched in dust and shadow, but my prey would fall right within my grasp, and oooooh was I going to suck the blood out of this little delectable morsel.

Yessss, yes that was the word for him. A little morsel or I should correct myself in saying not so little any longer, for he had grown. Oooh and how pretty he was, oh I would enjoy this, bask in every second. Father wouldn't be pleased with the wait and my mistake, but in the end the begging forgiveness and bowing and scraping would be all worth it, because for now he was **mine**. Oh in the end it was all for father, but babies were no fun.

They screamed and wailed but in the end their cries silenced in hunger, fatigue and sickness. Oh but he was grown now, he would scream, and scream, annnnnd screammmmmm. He would fight and thrash and beg and plead. Oh he would spill such pretty tears, and in the end such pretty scarlet blood. I would cut out his gorgeous little heart, and I would bathe in his blood, oh but not just his blood, because it would be pure, so sweet and pure.

And my plan was all laid out, like a work of art, this was my Mona Lisa. Because my little pet was so colorful. Babies were all the same, all pristine and white with this soft little glow. But oooh had this one gained some color, granted not as much as the older, but he was of no value to me. He boasted such lovely colors, he was a strong and strong headed one, smart to, and oh I was going to enjoy this so much.

It was so easy, so pitifully easy, with the bitch of a mother gone the father all but crawled into a ball and wasted away. What a wretchedly weak sorry excuse of wasted space. The surrogate father was laughable to even think of, a highly functioning alcoholic with an old army wound that was slowly over time rendering him lame. The only real worry was the brother; he did boast such an impressive array of colors, one I was loathed to admit but of the likes I had never laid eyes on before. But no matter how pretty he was he couldn't do it alone. He would fight, he would try so hard but in the end, he was nothing more than a child all alone in the big bad world. He would fight, and alone…he would fail.

I walked through the door and closed it with a click. I turned to the smart board and wrote Mr. Smith with a flourish before turning to face the mostly quiet class.

"Good morning class, as you can see I am Mr. Smith, Mrs. Braden had an unexpected family problem so I'll be teaching this class for the rest of the semester. I hope we can all get along and I promise to be fair and keep homework at a minimum."

I scanned the room before letting my gaze settle on a pair of big brown eyes and trusting smile.

"After all I'm here to teach you new things…and I so…hope, we can all get along."

~oOo~

Dean and I sat in his room all that evening talking and joking. He teased me constantly about being such a nerd and I poked fun at his grease monkey status. But what was there to poke at really? I had no qualms with him in a ratty pair of jeans and wifebeater covered in sweat, grease and car oil. Hmmm, that was an image for sure. We chatted idly and Dean was shocked to discover I had a brother.

"Well dude you've never mentioned him, did something bad happen between you or something?"

"Gabriel? No not at all, we're very close, he's just been gone off as a freshman in college, there's really not too much to tell, not everyone is as close as you and Sam Dean."

I only realized I had maybe poked a sore spot by the brief flair of pain and irritation in his outer field and the ever so slight thinning of his lips. I sighed.

"Don't be like that, I didn't mean it in a bad way. I know you've been through hell, I was just stating a fact."

A brief flash of lemon yellow surprise.

"How do you…?"

I picked at my jean covered knee and avoided awkward eye contact.

"Jo told me, don't get pissed at her."

He gave a morose sigh and flopped back on the bed to stare at the ceiling.

"When people know about that shit…they look at you different. You can see it in their eyes, they go all soft and remorseful and you always know they'll apologize when they shouldn't be saying sorry about jack shit."

A lightning bolt of white hot anger zigzagged past his neck and shoulder.

"And they simper and give excuses and apologies and they have no clue, not one Godamn clue what we really went through. People just don't understand, they think they do and…you can't understand death and pain when it hasn't happened to you. People watch movies and they think they have this deeper level of understanding about pain and loss and they sympathize with you and are like awwww I know how you feel my grandmother died last year."

Sheer white was exploding and flashing in little bursts about him.

"Your Godamn GRANDMOTHER!How can people be that fucking stupid to compare losing a grandparent or uncle or pet to losing your MOTHER!How can you compare that to a serial killer burning down your home with your mother knifed to the ceiling with tent poles and your baby brother kidnapped and fed blood by a satanic psychopathic piece of shit from hell and thinking you'll never see him again?!"

He gave a deep shuddering sigh, closed his eyes and the white cooled to silver and dispersed into wispy clouds.

"Sorry man, you didn't deserve that."

"No I…"

I pulled my knees to my chin and wrapped my arms around my legs.

"I understand what you mean. They think because they've had this tiny glimpse of what you've been through they understand your pain. It makes them feel better, to think that tiny amount of sorrow they feel is akin to what you feel, people always assume the agony they're going through is greater than what anyone else has ever felt. Most people just haven't seen the horrors you have; they literally, mentally can't comprehend the level of what you feel."

I rested my chin on my knees and sighed, staring at the wall.

"I understand you not wanting people to know, no one likes pity. "

I didn't glance his way during the lapse of silence that ensued before Dean gusted out a deep breath of air.

"Ya' know, you're the first person in the world that understands that without actually having gone through hell to experience it."

"We all have our own hells, yours is just a more literal translation of it than most."

I glanced up to see his green eyes glinting, reflecting the same emotions that were blooming all around him, friendship, love, and peace, such a beautiful color I was grateful to see in his field, one I couldn't ever recall spotting before.

"But you do understand in a way, what it's like, to have a secret, to be different and carry that weight on your shoulders. I often forget what you can see, how much of a burden that must be on you to see the very core of humanity, God how despicable we all probably look to you?"

I uncurled slightly from my protective ball.

"Sometimes it is, that's why I've never had friends before meeting you guys. It…well to put it simply, most of the time if sucks ass, my general view of humanity likens most people as nothing more than soulless, killing, lying, lusting, greedy, fucking sacks of meat."

Dean's shoulders sank a little at my words. I turned my head and gazed at the nebula of light and beauty floating around him, caressing his skin like a light mist almost lovingly. I couldn't help but give a smile, my throat suddenly tightening.

"But ya' know, amongst the horror and terror and shit that is the world, there's a little light. And my opinion on the matter is that everything has its opposite, with light there is dark. If there's only light, no evil, no blackness than how do we know that good is good? It just is, you lose your moral standards and your scale of how you measure what makes the light…well the light. But once you've seen so much darkness and evil and horror, it's like when you've gone cave exploring and got lost. You know that fresh air is good but once you've been stuck in the stale still air and you finally surface and take in deep lungfulls of fresh clean air you appreciate it more. Once you've witnessed the dank and dark and sin…it just makes the light and good all the more beautiful and you appreciate it so much more."

I gave an embarrassed chuckle but chugged on when Dean just gazed at me silently with wide wondering eyes.

"It sucks…but when I get to meet people like you and Sam, that have seen hell and the shit life can dish out, and you have the most beautiful soul I've ever seen…it makes me appreciate it all the more…and I can see the brief bright diamonds hidden in life, and…damnit I can love the people I meet like that with every fiber of my being, so much stronger than normal because I have that scale to see just how bright and good you are compared to the rest of the universe."

I may have sounded like I was waxing poetic and spewing mush but no matter how absolutely corny and clichéd I sounded it was true. Because sometimes when it's corny and clichéd it only means it's real.

And for once I couldn't read anything from Dean; there were a million colors all swirling and flashing so fast I couldn't even begin to understand what he was feeling at the moment. He huffed out a laugh and rubbed his hand over his face.

"Man we have been talking some seriously heavy shit."

I grinned.

"Wanna go annoy Sam?"

"God that sounds awesome."

~oOo~

"Deannnn, Jesus get off me!"

I laughed from my safe corner of the couch as Dean finally flopped down beside me and quit mauling Sam sitting on the other end. Sam gave an annoyed huff but I could see deep shades of pink swirling around them both, Sam loved every second of attention his brother bestowed upon him. Dean threw his arm across the back of the couch and sprawled with a grin.

"Why don't you put one of your nerd shows on Sammy, we'll have a nerdfest."

Sam practically lit up like a light bulb before he jumped up to go put a movie on. When his back was turned Dean gave me a crooked grin that expressed just how fond of his baby brother he was. I smiled back to say I completely understood. It was strange, nothing had really changed between us yet it had. Where before we were friends and hung out there was always a slight distance. I hadn't known Dean very long and we just weren't as close as him and Jo or the others. We didn't have years of bonding and special moments that tied us together.

But in that conversation Dean and I had both spoken so serious and expressed personal things that we couldn't stay the same afterwards. We didn't act different, and I didn't feel like our friendship had changed really but there was this silent mutual understanding now, an invisible string that connected us and gave us something special to bond over. We had taken a step, to what I couldn't tell you, I had by now lost the grand idea that we would ever be anything more than friends. But it made me feel a weird sense of hope that I could at least have a close, strong relationship with him, even if it was only friendship.

It was sad but it spoke volumes of just how serious I felt about Dean. Through the years you have crushes on various people. There's usually the feeling of not wanting them to know yet wanting them to know at the same time, you're willing to face the rejection and embarrassment. Then maybe there's another person that you make ready advances on and you make your feelings clear because you've hit the point that you don't care very much anymore and you just want to see where it goes.

But with Dean it was a whole other ball game. The very thought of making a move on him made my limbs lock and pulse jump and a cold sweat would break out. I'm not sure if I could face the rejection and humiliation. But mostly I couldn't lose Dean as a friend, and if remaining silent about everything would ensure that, it would stay that way. I'd rather at least have Dean in some way than to not have him at all.

The rest of the evening went well. We sat with Sam and watched Sherlock till everyone arrived for the bonfire. Dean was enthralled while Sam and I exchanged supremely amused glances behind his back.

The evening went as our bonfires usually did. Dean would sit in his stack of tires, legs dangling in the air and bouncing to the beat of classic rock blaring from his ancient stereo. Chuck would update us on how his comic was going; we all had a deep interest in it since the two supernatural fighting brothers were based off Dean and Sam. And to everyone's amusement I had made it in as a main character as an angel helping the two brothers out. Really it was very good and I loved Chuck's drawing style, even if the scenes with Dean and I hit a little too close to home.

Balthazar arrived late as usual baring several six packs of beer. Ash brought his laptop to show us the new computer program he was creating, none of us really knew what he was talking about but he got so excited about it and it was interesting all the same. Jo arrived bringing gifts of smore' supplies.

Everyone laughed and drank until near two am when Bobby came out on the porch to yell at us to get our asses home. Sam doused out the fire while we picked up beer bottles and we dragged ourselves to our cars to leave.

I was fixing to hop in Jo's truck so she could take me home when Dean jogged up.

"Dude wait, I was gona' give you my number earlier but I forgot. "

I silently handed him my cell phone and felt my ears heat a little.

"I guess we can finally get ahold of each other and hang out after school now?"

Jo snorted from the driver's seat and I ignored her. Dean grinned as he handed my phone back to me.

"Exactly, I'm tired of calling Jo to text you for me."

Jo hollered her affirming feelings on the subject from the truck.

"Does Sam still want to see Superman tomorrow?"

"Yeah he's foaming at the mouth."

I hopped in the truck.

"I'll check show times tonight and text you tomorrow than."

Dean threw me a wide smile.

"You spoil him."

I snorted as I closed the door and Jo backed out of the junkyard. We sat in silence for a moment before I could practically hear Jo grinning in the dark.

"So you got his digits!"

"I got one of my best friends' numbers so we can hang out after school."

She frowned and I was surprised to see a sad navy blue weaving near her arm.

"Since when have you given up on him?"

I leaned my head back against the seat and sighed.

"Since he likes you."

"Bullshit"

I jerked my head up in surprise at her fierce tone.

"Jo I can see it, believe me when I tell you that."

I received a glare.

"Well I'm telling you you're an idiot. I can't see auras and I can tell you Dean has as much romantic inkling towards me as I feel for him. I don't need to see people's souls to know that."

I opened my mouth to protest but she cut me off.

"I don't care what you think you see Cas cuz' you're wrong. You've said before that what you see isn't a science and that stuff varies for everyone, well I'm saying in this instance what you think you see is wrong."

I felt a small wriggle of hope deep in my gut.

"You're that sure?"

"Castiel James Novak you fuckin' moron, I'd bet my life on it."

**I am happy to say that Jo kicked some sense into mopey Cas, he'll have a bit more determination from now. **

**Hope you guys liked my creepo Alistair XD **

**Guys I can't quite express how happy and pleased I am with this chapter. I have a difficult time in my stories finding the connection with my two romantic characters. I write them out to get together but they just…I can't seem to get them to connect and have a spark, that attraction and soul mate connection you see in some people in real life. It frustrates me because others may like the story but I can just feel the lacking of that electric spark for want of a better description that truly ties your characters together and sells it as real love and romance. And I've been fighting that in this story, of course planning Dean and Cas to be together but not really finding a connection and spark and I am so pleased to say that I found it in this chapter.**

**I hope you guys didn't suffocate under all the heavy and serious but it was that conversation that let me feel these two are really gona' be somethin' special.**

**I'd also like to just make a special note that this chapter in a way is dedicated to my dad. Most of the angry rant from Dean was my outlook on people completely not understanding when you lose someone and you've gone through hell that other people can't begin to comprehend. **


	7. Buttercup Yellow

**You guys will be happy to know that I have the rest of the story planned out so writing should go a little faster. If I have several chapters written at once I'll start updating two at a time since I don't have any access to internet. I don't want to make you guys wait two weeks for a chapter I have already written and waiting.**

**I know how the plot is going to pan out but I'm still deciding if I want to write a short sequel posted as another story or several long epilogue chapters, I'll see what you guys want and go with the majority vote.**

**If I wasn't naming my chapters after colors this one would be named It's the slutty pumpkin Castiel!**

Cas P.O.V

"I can't believe you guys are dragging me to this party."

"Quit your whining or I'll have to call Dean."

I frowned and crossed my arms.

"I mean, I don't even know this guy, all I know is he goes by Lucifer which is freakin weird by the way."

Jo laughed as she braked at a red light.

"Michael is a cool guy, I've known him since kindergarten; you'll have to meet him to get his sense of humor."

"What that he goes by Satan?"

"His parents named him after the archangel; he always said they got the wrong one. I think he started it back in middle school, at first everyone was weirded out."

"I wonder why."

I received a slap to shut up.

"But it stuck, most of his friends call him Luke, Chuck based Michael in the comics off of him. Luke thought it was so great he asked Chuck to make him an asshole."

I frowned and tugged at the seatbelt pulling too tight across my chest.

"I thought Chuck drew Michael after Adam Milligan, that's why the vessel is called Adam."

"Well he is but Chuck has his character portfolio and he's fixing to draw an episode where Michael takes Dean's dad when he's young as a vessel and Chuck is basing young John off Luke."

"Dude, Chuck should write soapopera screenplays. I swear every time I see him he has a new twist for that comic."

Jo pulled into a nice residential neighborhood which was already lined with cars.

"He sent in the first book to a publishing company last week, hasn't heard back from them yet though."

"It'll be so weird if it gets published and all our faces will be known as other people."

We pulled up on the curb behind an old camri and Jo laughed as we climbed out of the truck.

"At least you haven't died…yet anyway, he really likes killing everybody off."

I tugged at the blue uniform shirt I was wearing while we walked down the sidewalk to the house on the corner blaring deep thumping music.

"Didn't you hear him at lunch yesterday, he's already planned the next book; apparently I face off Michael and Lucifer at the final battle and get blown up."

Jo guffawed and readjusted the giant pumpkin she was wearing.

"He'll bring you back alive, don't worry, he likes your character too much, he kills Dean and Sam in about every book."

We walked through the front door and I blinked at the sudden harsh light, loud music and cigarette smoke wafting through the house. I bumped into a Darth Vader and Dracula as I followed Jo's large orange form down the hallway. I cringed at all the swirling, merging colors and auras everywhere. Jo tended to knock people out of the way so I followed easily. I accidently bumped into a slutty nurse and angel oozing a disturbing amount of wine red before I finally made it to the kitchen hot on Jo's heels.

"There you are Dean!"

I peered around the kitchen before I spotted him by the sink. I admired a deep swirl of sapphire curling around his outstretched arm before he turned with a grin dressed in a pinstriped suit and fedora. Jo waddled over to him, hoisting her pumpkin a little as she did while I trailed behind her. Dean's focus jumped from Jo with amusement to me before he smirked.

"Why hello, someone lose their way from the Enterprise?"

I chuckled and eyed Dean's costume; he was wearing suspenders over his blood red shirt and under his pinstriped coat.

"Nice suit, Al Capone?"

Dean clicked his tongue and winked while he tipped his hat.

"That would be right, I'd say Spock for you but you're missing the eyebrows."

Jo cackled as she made her way over to the cooler.

"I tried to convince him but he wouldn't listen."

"Nobody listens to slutty pumpkins Jo; I'm supposed to be Bones."

Dean's face skewed up as he eyed my blue shirt, uncomfortably tight pants and black boots.

"He's the doctor right?"

I opened my mouth but Jo bumped into me from behind and handed me a beer.

"I'm not just a slutty pumpkin Cas, I'm THE slutty pumpkin."

Dean and I rolled our eyes in amusement.

"Well suit up Dean and we'll go find the others."

Jo cheered as Dean rolled his eyes at me, I was probably grinning like a goof while we fought our way into the living room. We did eventually find the others; Balthazar had refused to wear a costume while Ash proudly wore a mullet and proclaimed himself to be Jo Dirt. Chuck wobbled drunkenly wearing what appeared to be biblical robes. He drunkenly slurred.

"I'm a pro…prophet seeee!"

I eyed his aura with amusement as it pulsed in and out of focus and blurred with his heartbeat, man was he trashed. Halfway through the night Jo started shooting me pointed looks which I tried vainly to ignore. After our conversation after the bonfire the week before Jo had practically held me at knife point making me promise to try and make a move on Dean at the party tonight. She claimed if things went south I could at least claim drunkenness. I had zero intentions of making any move of the sort but she didn't seem to be getting the hint.

It was getting extremely late and Jo had disappeared at least an hour ago. I wandered through the house wearily trying to find her, she was wearing a giant pumpkin, she couldn't be that hard to find! I finally wandered out on the back porch to find my favorite vortex of colors. I quietly leaned against the railing beside Dean and he jumped, lemon yellow flashed all through his outer field.

"Jesus Christ Cas, don't do that to a man!"

I cackled unapologetically. By now Dean had shed the fedora and coat. His hair was parted on the side and slicked down with jell, his shirtsleeves were rolled up to the elbow and his suspenders hung loosely at his sides.

"You haven't seen a slutty pumpkin wandering around have you?"

Dean scrunched his face in confusion.

"Jo told me you wanted to stay but she was ready to leave, said I was supposed to take you home."

"That meddlesome bitch, I swear I'm going to string her up by her toes."

"She left you didn't she."

I grumbled under my breath while Dean watched me with an amused twinkle in his eyes.

"Yes, yes she did."

"No worries, I don't mind taking you home."

"Well if you put it like that…"

It slipped out before I could think twice and I mentally slapped myself. He snorted out a laugh and I noticed the faintest shade of pink blink in and out of site near his shoulders.

"Jeez Cas, I need dinner before we take the relationship that far."

"And if you thought I was insinuating anything I'll have you know I'm not that kind of guy, I'm offended to think you'd assume that of me."

There was silence for a moment before we both busted out laughing. I cackled a bit while Dean clutched his side and tried to catch his breath.

"Oh that hurt man, I can't breathe."

I giggled as we calmed down.

"So why did Jo leave you?"

I huffed out an annoyed breath as I glared out over the balcony.

"She was trying to set me up with someone."

Sea green looped about and curled around his bicep, my mouth quirked in amusement. Dean glanced down to his arm and arched an eyebrow.

"What are you grinning at?"

"I love that I can see things others can't."

Dean frowned at me petulantly.

"What?"

I gestured to the still looping sea green which was now swirling down to his tricep and wrist.

"You're curious"

"How can you possibly tell that by looking at my arm?"

I tapped my temple and waggled my eyebrows.

"Psychic remember, you have a nice shade of sea green right there."

He scrunched up his nose and lifted his arm a little to stare at it.

"Point out some other stuff."

"Why?"

"As you pointed out, I'm curious." I grinned at his snarky tone.

"Fine, well there's some deep blue here, a patch of amber is underneath it, over there is a deep swirl of magenta, there's some emerald right there. A bit of gold and silver sprinkled throughout, oh and coming up behind your right shoulder is some sapphire and aqua blue and …"

I stopped at the look he was shooting me.

"What?"

"I mean I've always believed you when you talk about seeing the auras, I guess I just never realized how much actual substantial stuff you see. I always assumed you just sort of got a vibe, feeling off of people, I didn't realize I had a friggin' rainbow floating around my head, I must look so weird."

He said the last part with a mix of amusement and incredulity. I laughed.

"I guess at first it would be weird but I'm used to it, I see it as part of the person, not this blob of color blocking my view of who's underneath."

"Still seems weird, and distracting."

"Well that I agree with, it's totally distracting, so if I'm ever staring at a random appendage or spot on your body don't get too creeped out."

I grinned as he snickered.

"Well it is pretty late, you ready to head out?"

"I was ready two hours ago when Jo left my gullible ass."

~oOo~

And well, time went on. Halloween came and went without too much angst. Jo was livid when she found out I still hadn't jumped Dean but for once I was content. I wasn't silently brooding and angsting over Dean being in love with someone and I was perfectly happy where we were. We hung out quite a bit and for the moment life was relatively good. We usually had a movie marathon night once a week with Sam; we had ganged up on Dean to watch the old Star Treks.

The only thing I had to worry about was having Dean over that Friday night at my house for the first time. He had actually wanted to watch The Lord of the Rings now that he had started reading the books but he couldn't bear to let Sam know that he'd caved. So I ordered him to hightail his ass over to my place for a marathon and home cooked food by my mom.

That night I wore one of my better fitting pair of jeans and an ancient black t-shirt while I bustled about in the kitchen with my mom. Dad and Gabe sat at the counter drooling over a collector's hot rod magazine. Mom was patting out hamburger patties while I rolled out pie dough beside Gabe.

"I'm warning you two, don't breathe a word to Dean or I'll put rat poison in your food."

They both glanced up at me with wide innocent eyes.

"Why would we say anything?"

I shook the dough roller at Gabe with narrowed eyes.

"I know you asshole, this is one time you are **not **allowed to mortify me in…I mean it."

I patted flour on the sheet of dough before I lifted it into the pan.

"How come you're not threatening mom with poisoning?"

I pressed the dough into the pan and began cutting off the excess dough hanging over the pan's edges.

"Because mom loves me and wouldn't completely embarrass me to homicide, you and dad on the other hand I trust as far as I can throw you."

"I don't know son you've beefed up this fall, I would say you could hurl Gabe here a ways, he's only what, 5'3"?"

Mom and I laughed as I poured apples and gooey filling into the crust. Gabe squawked indignantly.

"Oh come on!I'm 5'7" almost 5'8"!"

Dad snorted as he flipped a page in his magazine.

"I am!"

I chortled as I began rolling out the lid. At that moment I heard Dean knocking at the front door.

"Cassy your boyfriend is here."

I shot him a dangerous look.

"Go answer the door asshat I have flour all over me."

He sighed and wandered out of the kitchen while mom slapped my shoulder.

"I swear your language is as bad as your father's!"

I exchanged a grin with dad while he ogled over a camaro and I fitted the lid to the edge of the crust and glued the edges together with a bit of water. As Dean trailed after Gabe into the kitchen awkwardly mom threw dad a look.

"Don't think I didn't see that James."

Dad gave me an amused glance.

"Eesh, ya' here that, I've been downgraded to James."

Gabe chortled while I grinned at Dean.

"Hey man, you can come in, my family isn't that dangerous."

He suddenly seemed to zero in on my flour covered self and his aura bloomed with buttercup yellow.

"Dude are you baking a pie?"

If it wasn't for the pulsating happy yellow I probably would have just walked out of the room in embarrassment.

I frowned playfully as I poked holes in the top with a fork.

"You're just jealous of my awesome cooking skills."

Dean leaned against the counter with wide eyes.

"Did you seriously make an apple pie? Please tell me its apple!"

I handed over the bowl with a bit of apple filling still in the bottom with amusement. Be began licking the bowl as I brushed a brown sugar glaze over the shell of the pie. I grinned with amusement at the looks my family were shooting the pair of us.

"Oh right, mom, dad, this is Dean, Dean you just met Gabriel."

Gabe jutted his chin out in a jerk as he sat back down at the counter by my dad.

"Sup"

I rolled my eyes as I slid the pie into the oven. Mom took the plate of burgers out the back door and I wiped flour off my hands and arms. The magazine my dad and Gabe were still eyeballing finally caught Dean's attention.

"Ohhhh man, I would kill to work on that Camaro."

Both Gabe and my dad jerked their heads up simultaneously. Oh Dean had cast the hook now dad was trying not to beam.

"You know cars son?"

I grinned to myself as Dean valiantly tried to look not offended.

"Yes sir, I was born and bred in a car lot."

Gabe looked sold while dad arched one eyebrow.

"What can you tell me about this Camaro here than?"

"1969 Chevrolet Camaro ZL1, it's the rarest Camaro ever produced, the ZL1 came with a 427 cubic inch aluminum block V8 engine. I think market value right now should be around 425,000 but that was for the 2012 auctions so it's probably gone up a little since then."

I was beaming from ear to ear and trying not to look like a proud mother hen.

"What models are you particularly fond of?"

"Well the Camaro is definitely in my top five, I love the 1971 Plymouth Hemi cuda, I'm a real fan of the shaker scoop and that engine, I mean 425 horse power. I actually own a 1967 Impala that used to be my dad's, I tend to forget it's not an actual hot rod but I rigged her up with a racing V8 engine."

I was failing at not looking extremely proud even though I only understood about half of what he was saying. I eyed waves of a light forest green oozing off of dad, funny, he didn't usually take so well to new people; he was kind of like a cat.

"You thinking of going into cars?"

I noticed Dean was still eating apple pie filling with amusement. To my deep surprise embarrassment suddenly sparked in his outer field.

"Uhh, yeah actually, I want to go to college and get degrees in engineering and automotives, I've been working on my own design and I hope to start my own company some day."

I stared Dean down indignantly, how come I'd never heard this before?!"

Gabe seemed to be eyeing Dean looking vaguely impressed; he was also oozing a bit of lighter green. I noticed a cream and sea foam swirled stripe twirl past dad's shoulder and arm. Wow, he really liked Dean.

"Well that's quite impressive and ambitious; Castiel says you're extremely smart so I don't doubt you'll succeed."

The corner of Dean's mouth twitched up into a lopsided smile as he turned his wide green eyes on me, I couldn't quite decipher his mixed colors and the wide starry eyed look he'd turned on me had me befuddled and warm inside.

Gabe sat and looked between the two of us for a moment, head bouncing like he was watching a tennis match before he sighed melodramatically.

"Will you two quit eye fucking and just get on with it!"

**Eheh, poor Cas, he had to know Gabe was going to say something eventually ;)**

**Richard Speight Jr. is 5' 7 ¾ "to be exact and Misha Collins is 5' 11" if you wanted to know.**

**All the car information is true!I didn't bullshit anything!I texted one of my car expert dude friends and bugged him to death for this one asking a billion questions like can you put a pro racing v8 engine in an old 60's impala?Yes I know what a v8 engine is!**

**Both the Chevy Camaro and Plymouth Hemi Cuda sold for 425,000 in the 2012 hot rod auction, that particular model and year of Camaro is considered the #1 hot rod of all time and the Plymouth ranks as #2**

**And I hope you guys liked my How I Met Your Mother references!Heyyyy havvvvve yaaaa met Cas? **

**And I apologize for the in depth description of pie baking, my mom makes the damn best apple pie you've ever had in your life and I bet my life on that. It's actually sad, she made an apple pie for the 4****th**** of July and I was eating it and all I could think was damn, Dean would be orgasaming in the floor if he could taste this, Dean would fall in love with me over this pie. So in my mind, Cas's pie tastes like my mom's (southern cook guys, you can't beat a southern cook) apple pie.**


	8. Cherry Red

_**So I've been rewatching the A&E Horatio Hornblower series, if you haven't seen it I highly recommend it as a must, one of my favorite tv series. I'm thinking after I finish this story I'm going to write an au Destiel set in the British Navy around the same time era as Hornblower. I've seriously already got a plot started and everything, what do you guys think, would you read a story about Dean and Cas as officers in his Majesty's Royal Navy?**_

_Washington D.C_

_J. Edgar Hoover Building-FBI Headquarters_

_November 5__th_

_*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*_

"I said not to be disturbed."

"I'm sorry sir but there's some kid from IOSS saying there's possible movement on Subject X."

A dark haired man, graying at the temples sat behind a dark oak desk typing on a computer. He glanced up quickly.

"Send him in immediately."

"Yes sir"

A few moments later a man was shown into the office, he was small in stature, wearing a gray suit and clutching a laptop under one arm nervously. The dark haired man behind the desk stood and outstretched his hand for the young nervous Asian man to shake.

"I am Chief Special Agent Winchester."

"Kevin Tran from IOSS sir."

"What movement has been spotted?"

Kevin set his laptop on the desk and began pulling up files and tracking programs.

"Well Mr. Winchester to be honest under normal circumstances I wouldn't notify anyone of such little information I have gathered at this point but I was told under strict orders to report even the slightest movement."

Chief Winchester pulled on a pair of black square rimmed glasses and peered at the laptop screen.

"Subject X has been off grid for seven years, even the slightest possible movement is imperative to this case."

"Ahem, right sir, well a month ago a Mrs. Lisa Braden took a leave of absence from her teaching position at Lawrence Middle School. It's under record as a family emergency and she hasn't come back to work since. A Mr. Jacob Smith took up her post temporarily and has been teaching her classes of eighth grade English since."

"Why is Jacob Smith under suspicion?"

"Well I was scanning all of the social media sites and networks, Facebook, Twitter,Instagram, Pinterest, all of them, Lisa Braden had accounts on at least ten different sites including a personal and work email. She hasn't been on one sir, I went through user logins and even attempt of login into email or social sight via cell phone or ipod but there's been no movement, not for a month."

"Did Mrs. Braden report any details of her leave?"

"The only thing on file is family emergency. I went ahead and made a call to both her and her husband's phones but there wasn't an answer. Mr. Braden's work files have either been lost or corrupted and there is no possible contact information. No missing person's reports have been filed under her or her husband's names and I checked with coroners reports, no John or Jane Does have been recovered under either Mrs. or Mr. Braden's descriptions."

"What does Mr. Smith's files look like?"

"See here sir, nothing amiss, a perfect birth certificate, driver's license, social security card, insurance policies; both a house and car title under his name. He has official school transcripts from grade to high school and he graduated Cum Laude from University of Virginia."

"So Mr. Smith seems to check out clean but Mrs. Braden is MIA?"

"Well that's just it about Mr. Smith sir, other than official record there's nothing. He was born in 1969 but he doesn't have one ticket, no accident reports, traffic camera pictures. And his medical files are clean, there's official shot and immunization records for school but there's not one recorded doctor's visit, not even as a kid, no flu, strep, broken bones. There aren't even any prescription records for high dosed cough syrup or pain meds. In the few years I've been at this sir, no one goes their entire life without at least a ticket or the flu."

"Quite right, I want you officially on the case Mr. Tran and I want a 24 hour watch on this supposed Mr. Smith. Only official tech surveillance, if it's him than he's smart, he'll know if we have agents posted even within a hundred miles. I also want the usual surveillance on Dean and Sam Winchester increased to level red, neither of those boys are to even sleep without an agent watching them on a screen."

"Yes sir, what of Lisa Braden?"

"I'll put in an official report to HRT, in the mean time put in a report to the official surveillance team in IOSS to start looking on LEO for possible security cam footage."

"Yes sir, don't worry, we'll get the bastard."

"I've waited thirteen years Mr. Tran; believe me when I tell you I'm dedicated to this case."

~oOo~

_Dean: Hey Cas would you say the round table symbolized unity or equality?_

I blinked at my phone screen for a moment before typing out a slightly incredulous answer.

_Both I suppose, the king didn't have a special place of honor and as such all of the knights were considered equals…why?_

_Dean: I put off that stupid paper on King Arthur for Comp,I swear Davis is going to turn me against medieval legends_

_It's not that bad,I finished my paper 2 days ago_

_Dean: Haha, well good for you, would you say Mordrid was a victim of circumstance or just an asshat?_

_Definitely an asshat, the same goes for his mother_

_Dean: I'm glad you agree he's such a little shit_

_What did you choose your paper on?_

_Dean: I'm giving a basic overview with my opinion on stuff, symbolism and characters_

_I'm just rather proud you're writing the paper 2 days b4 it's due ;)_

_Dean: I always turn my stuff in on time!_

_After you stayed up till 4am last minute writing it & txting me the whole time :P_

_Dean: Eesh I see what your opinion on the subject is now_

_You're taking AP Biology I don't care about the lifespan of a tapeworm!_

_Dean: That was the nastiest week of my life. I'm never eating bloody meat again_

_Eeew eeew ohmygod why did you have to say that?!_

_Dean: you didn't have to sit through Jenkins' lecture!_

_Ughh, hey I'm gona call you I'm trying to do laundry_

I held my phone cradled against my neck and shoulder as I stuffed several pairs of jeans into the washer.

"What was Mordrid's mother's name again?"

I frowned and rummaged through a cabinet looking for laundry detergent.

"Ermmm, something Le Fay, I can't remember."

"You are of no help!"

I frowned still searching for the detergent.

"Who stayed up till two am to help you write a biography on Robert Burns?"

"And who stayed up all night helping you study for your problems and stats test?"

"So I suck at math, leave me alone."

"Who was Merlin in love with?"

"Nimaway, don't ask me her father's name because I have no clue."

I jiggled the bottle of detergent and frowned before chucking the empty bottle in the trash and rummaging around for another.

"How do you spell that?"

"Dude do you not have the book with you, or better yet Google?"

I could practically hear him pouting on the other line. After we had exchanged numbers our texting and calls had increased steadily. It was strangely nice to get to talk to him and I was like any other normal person, I couldn't decipher every atom of his emotions over a phone.

"So what does your family do for Thanksgiving?"

"Mom makes the standard meal, I usually help make pies; dad and Gabe watch football and drink beer. Mom's parents both died a few years ago and dad's side of the family is a wreck. Thanksgiving has never been a huge ordeal with us, now Christmas is a whole other story."

"Yeah same with us, Bobby's cooking is shit and Sam and I are usually pretty decent but neither of us ever feels like putting effort into a huge meal. We usually just wind up watching a game, I think it bothers Sam a lot that Dad can't even come around for the holidays."

I closed the washing machine and grabbed a basket of clean shirts to heft back to my room.

"Can't or won't"

As soon as it came out I immediately wanted to smack myself and take the words back. I could be insensitive at times without really thinking about it.

"Ehhh, won't I guess, I quit making excuses for him years ago. He's obsessed with his work; I understand that to a degree because I want that psycho to pay for what he did just as much as he does. But the thing is that I know that, how much it means to dad for this guy to get caught, but Sammy doesn't remember anything, thank God but he gets angry with him a lot. He's always saying that dad cares more about mom's killer than us, it hurts him that our own dad doesn't even come around for Christmas."

Jo always talked how Dean was emotionally stunted and didn't like to talk about emotions and serious stuff. But that was both untrue and unfair, no guy likes chick flick moments and over sharing of emotion but after we had grown closer Dean was surprisingly open with deeper emotion and information. I'd assumed that even after becoming close friends with him there would be things I'd never know about him but he would just casually throw tidbits of his childhood and life out on the phone which never ceased to surprise me.

I hmmed for an answer before I closed my bedroom door and threw the basket of laundry on my floor.

"What about you?"

"I don't figure what I feel on the subject matters that much. Dad is dad and Sam is Sam and nothing is going to change that."

I frowned and flopped onto my bed.

"Of course what you feel is important, he's your dad."

"Ehhh, I mean sometimes it's frustrating, but most of the time I understand his obsession. Sammy doesn't remember the flames or all the horrible shit he went through when he was kidnapped but dad and I do. And that's an understanding we have between the two of us as weird as that sounds."

"Have you ever told Sam that?"

"Sam and I are both nice and screwed up Cas, we don't talk about that stuff, no chick flick moments remember?"

"But you talk about it with me, and I'm not egotistical enough to think you consider me at the same level as Sam."

"You're my best friend Cas, there's just some crap your friends know that your family doesn't."

As much as Dean actually admitting he considered me his best friend made me light up like a glow worm that statement made me frown.

"But Sam's about all the family you have Dean."

It was quiet for a moment before Dean huffed a sigh and I could hear their back screen door screech and slam and the clomping of the back wooden steps.

"I hate it when you're right ya' know that."

I grinned and chuckled.

"Why don't you guys have Thanksgiving with us?"

"Cas we're not gona' bum Thanksgiving dinner off your family."

"Dude my family adores you and I know if Sam even looks at my mom she'll want to adopt him. I'm serious, Bobby is welcome to, and it's actually kind of freaky how much my family likes you."

"You're just jealous of my charm."

I giggled like Sam did when Dean slipped up and made a nerd reference. I could practically hear him smiling.

"So what are you doing right now?"

"Changing my baby's oil, how about you?"

"Just sitting in my room, what happened to your paper?"

"I only have a couple paragraphs left, I'm gona' finish it tomorrow. Want me to come pick you up; I'm craving some J's burger and fries."

"Whoever said Sam was the smart one?"

"Flattery will get you everywhere with me, let me finish up with this and I can pick you up in about 30."

"Awesome"

After the phone beeped I flipped back on the bed and laid there for a while before rolling to my feet and slouching over to my closet in search of a shirt. I think I was wearing a pair of Dean's old jeans, honestly I couldn't tell the difference any more. I pulled on an older faded superman shirt and jacket before wandered downstairs in search of my favorite pairs of converse and wallet.

I found the converse kicked off at the base of the stairs and I trailed into the kitchen.

"Dad have you seen my wallet?"

He looked up from the checkbook he was balancing.

"Try the couch, you going somewhere?"

"Dean and I are going for burgers."

He hollered from the kitchen as I went in search of my wallet.

"It's a school night; I want you home before midnight and not stinking of sex!"

I groaned and stuffed my wallet into my back pocket before walking back to the kitchen.

"And everyone wonders where Gabe gets it from."

"Just that Novak charm I suppose. But have you made any headway with the boy; you've been pining after him for four months now."

"Is that all, God public school lasts forever."

"But it's done you good, I'm glad we decided to force you to go."

I leaned against the counter and watched him tap away at a calculator.

"Me too"

"Have you thought about college any?"

"Well yeah, doesn't mean I have a clue what I want to do."

"I always figured you'd go into psychology like Gabe."

I wrinkled my nose in distaste.

"Ughhh, no, I have enough of that, I've considered medical but I'm not too sure."

He gave me a slightly funny look before I heard the Impala's horn.

"Tell mom I'll be home after dinner."

"Will do, have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Dad, there is a lot I would do that you wouldn't."

He gave me a slightly disturbed look before I laughed and slammed the front door. I hopped in the passenger seat to find Dean singing Wanted Dead or Alive. I'd heard his fair share of bellowing and screeching Metallica but this was the first time I'd ever heard him actually singing. He quirked me this lopsided grin and his eyes crinkled as he peeled out of my driveway. He was wearing his signature jacket and a pair of aviators against the mid afternoon sun.

Bright light filtered in through the windows and highlighted his jelled hair and lit up his face with golden light. The light seemed to shimmer through his aura and specks of color and light cascaded through it much like you would see dust particulates floating through sunlight. He thumped against the steering wheel and his voice carried with the tune and it just…

It suddenly hit me. I always thought it was so corny in movies or books when the character has the light bulb revelation. It hadn't ever worked light that for me, I usually mulled over information and turned it over again and again and considered it before over time I discovered things. How stupid would a person have to be for this huge bit of information be such a shock to them? That knowledge has to be in there somewhere, either the person is in monumental denial or they have no sense of self reflection.

But that's just how it was. Call me stupid and in denial and anything else you like because it's true. But as he sang and grinned that stupid lopsided smile and the light just illuminated him it hit me like a slap to the face.

I loved him.

My heart pounded in my chest and I sat very still for a moment and tried to breathe normally. Because oh my God I really did, I loved Dean Winchester.

Dean turned the music down, which had switched to Guns and Roses and quirked a worried look my way.

"Dude you have a really funny look on your face, what's up?"

"I can't believe you can actually sing."

He laughed and I smiled while I swallowed thickly, the back of my throat felt tight and ached. This was stupid, teenagers weren't actually supposed to fall in love, they dated and screwed around. No one was supposed to fall in love after four months of knowing someone. You weren't supposed to fall in love with the guy you call your best friend. But I had, somehow I had gone and without knowing it fallen in love with him.

I could barely think it in my own mind but there it was, as plain as day, I was probably glowing magenta and cherry red right now. Even in just thinking it I wanted to squirm away from it uncomfortably but a fact's a fact, and this was one hell of a fact.

**Oh poor Cas, well here is my first slight cliffhanger guys. Sorry the love bomb was such a surprise. I hadn't been planning on dealing with it in this chapter but as I was writing Cas getting in the car and I wrote out the description of Dean I sort of stopped and realized with Cas, yeah the poor guy is in love :)**

**I had way too much fun writing the FBI scene; believe me when I say I'm psyched for the thriller chapters coming up and the blood and gore. I did quite a bit of research to get my FBI facts right but I apologize to any of you crime show buffs; I've never watched one in my life. The closest thing I get to that is Bones and I seriously don't think that counts.**

**IOSS is Investigations and Operations Support Section, it's a division within the FBI that prepares and responds to critical incidents, major investigations and special events by providing expertise in behavioral and crime analysis, crisis management, and rapid deployment logistics.**

**They have tons of databases to enhance case management and investigative data collection, and that's what LEO is, the Law Enforcement Online Network.**

**HRT is Hostage Rescue Team and they deal with rescuing people and saving lives in any situation whether it is terrorist or severe crime. HRT is in a tactical section of the FBI with CNU-Crisis Negotiation Unit and other programs to support SWAT operations, tactical intelligence, and tactical aviation.**


	9. Navy Blue

**I do apologize that after I promised quicker updates there was this period of silence. In the fanfiction world Cas is always given the weird religious family that's super controlling and you kind of want to punch them in the face, unfortunately that's my mother. We'll just insinuate that there have been issues the past week but Carry on and all that good stuff!**

**I'll give away a slight spoiler to stay that within the next two or three chapters poor Sammy is going to have fate catch up with him so the plot is coming along and I have everything planned out quite nicely. I've decided to write several long epilogue chapters and not make you guys go search out a sequel for this.**

**And to finally catch a perspective from our favorite green eyed hottie here is some Dean angst!:)**

**On a last note the diner J's corner in this chapter isn't mine that goes to the owners of the awesome joint in the crappy little town I live in. Kudos goes to that greasy little diner; they really do have the best burgers and fries.**

Dean's P.O.V

Cas sat across from me in the corner booth dragging French fries through his chocolate milkshake smirking at the slightly weirded out glance I was giving him. J's corner was one of those mom and pop diners that had been around for as long as I could remember. The old cherry red upholstery in all of the booths had long ago been worn and faded.

Along the walls near the ceiling were hundreds of old license plates and road signs obviously pilfered from Route 66 and other famous highways. There was a perpetual layer of grease ingrained in the tabletops and the only workers were a small quirky guy named Garth from school and a girl I'd never talked to but wore the nametag saying she was Meg.

The place sold the best burgers and fries I'd ever had in my life and Cas adored their ice-cream and milkshakes.

Garth always played the classic rock station with the accompanying sounds of his curses coming from the back kitchen and occasional exclamations of balls and smashing sounds.

I munched on my burger happily and tried to keep the appreciative sounds to a minimum since Sam had dubbed them my food orgasm sounds. Frost had settled around the edges of the window Cas was leaning against and his breath was melting a clear spot on the glass.

He was wearing an ancient pair of jeans that I swore used to be mine and an old worn superman shirt that had been washed ten times too many and stretched tight across his shoulders and chest. He wore a light black jacket and his hair was in its usual state of disarray that always gave him such an appealing just had dirty sex in a bathroom stall look.

I had just shoved an ungodly amount of fries into my mouth when I froze and arched an eyebrow in a silent question at the weird look he was giving me, much like the one I'd received in the Impala earlier. Normally I could read people pretty well, hell nowhere even in the same category of what Cas was but I had a good instinct for people and as dense as Sammy liked to think I was I did usually know what was going on. But never with Cas and especially never with that look that in a hundred years I couldn't decipher.

At first glance it was a simple look but I knew all of Cas's looks even if I didn't understand most of them and that was a face I'd never seen him make before. It spoke of a thousand different emotions that should have cancelled each other out but somehow didn't.

I tended to be emotionally stunted, I could admit that, I didn't do chick flick moments and girl talk and sharing tampons, I liked to let my actions speak for my emotions louder than my words ever could. Most people didn't speak the same code Sammy and I shared, that punch was saying I'm proud of you, that literal kick to the ass was expressing my fondness and love.

But no matter how emotionally retarded I was I could still admit to myself in the darkest recesses of my soul and only under the strictest self exploration and self interrogation that I loved Cas. There are different levels of love and I wasn't so self absorbed to think that I felt the highest level of loves and the passion I felt could cross the seas and transcend time. I know that some people feel love stronger than others, after all everyone's definition of love is different and some fall in love easier than others.

It hadn't been a great revealing moment. In my mind I couldn't go back and say there, that was the day I knew I loved him. It crept up on me gradually so that I hardly noticed it, every day I just felt a little harder and felt this strange sense of fondness grow deeper and deeper until one indecipherable moment it quietly clicked.

I would have expected myself to agonize over it more than I did. If I was anything it was a masochist and I couldn't let anything go without a silent battle of agony and inner turmoil. But surprisingly out of all the things in my life realizing I loved Cas was the only thing that I ever accepted completely and without inner turmoil over.

But falling in love wasn't the hard part, no that was ridiculously easy and that just shows how deeply I felt for Cas because I wasn't one of those people that loved easy, heck I didn't even like easy. I didn't just open myself up to anyone, Sammy didn't know half the messed up stuff I'd admitted to Cas. You'd think I wouldn't want him to know the messed up shit about me, all of my scars and emotional trauma and issues but if anything I wanted him to know it all. I wanted him to understand every facet of my being and all that came with it whether it be good or bad and I knew most of it was bad.

And when taking all of that into account and knowing what Cas was able to see, I couldn't understand how someone like him couldn't just look at me and see me lit up like a friggin' Christmas tree with all of my ooey gooey girly feelings lying around everywhere. And that made me panic because what if he could see that but didn't want to say anything and ruin our friendship, and here I was probably oozing pink and purple hearts all around me with Cas written in girly cursive writing branded on them.

And I had always been the sort of take action guy, if you like the person for heaven's sakes just go after them. That was one of the reasons I was so picky with my books because I could never stand it when there's the stupid character pining after their "true love" and they won't make a move and do anything about it and your sitting there silently screaming at them to just frickin' do something because oh my God it's not the end of the world.

But the fact is when it's happening to you, you gain a whole new perspective on the matter. It wasn't the thought of rejection or the fear of Cas suddenly hating my guts because even with rejection I wasn't a moron, Cas would never do that. But it was the uncertainty of it, the sheer lost and unknowing of it all that makes you feel like a kid again because you're suddenly on very unstable ground and you have no idea how you stand.

How would I even confront this with Cas? Hey dude ya' know I love ya' man, no not just like you're my bro, I mean I'm kind of in love with ya' and I mean that in the way that I think your gorgeous and sexy and the smell of your cologne makes me horny. I couldn't even mentally play out the scenario without wanting to laugh because there just wasn't a way to believably imagine that.

And sometimes I would consider it, like sitting in that greasy diner booth and watching him eat French fries dunked in chocolate milkshake. What would happen if I just suddenly blurted it out? But the very thought of it made my pulse skyrocket, my hands shake, sweat, and my throat would suddenly get tight and my mouth would go dry as my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth.

It felt the same as stage fright when I was a kid; that sheer nervous adrenaline rush to where you feel like you're about to hit the floor. How could I actually stutter out the words when the mere thought had me in near convulsions?

Cas scrunched his nose up at me.

"Now you're the one making the weird face, do I have chocolate smeared everywhere or something?"

Hey chocolate smeared everywhere wasn't a bad thing, not at all…

I grinned and crammed half my burger down my throat. He rolled his eyes with a smile and slid the milkshake glass across the table towards me.

"Help me finish this dude; I shouldn't have gotten a large."

I took a gulp and slid the glass back towards him.

"Ughhh, that is so rich, how can you eat that with fries man?"

"Pshht, you don't know what you're talking about; it's a perfect delicious balance, like chocolate covered pretzels."

I pursed my lips and grabbed several fries before dunking them and shoving them in my mouth. I chewed for a minute and mulled over the taste as if I'd taken a sip of fine wine.

"Ehhh, that's not half bad."

He grinned victoriously but had the decency not to gloat even as I ate my fries coated in milkshake for the rest of our meal.

As we stepped outside our breath puffed out in great billows of smoke and I shivered slightly. Cas rubbed his hands together as I turned the key and cranked the heat up.

"I can't wait for snow."

"Dude it's not even Thanksgiving yet, give it some time!"

"I can't help it, it gets cold and I'm all for snowmen and sugar cookies."

I grinned and the conversation lulled into a peaceful silence as the radio played Motorhead. After Thanksgiving I'd play Christmas music for him but I had a moral standard not to bring that crap out before December. It was nice that we didn't always have to talk, Cas was a talkative guy, he liked to discuss things, dissect a person, but he was always content to just sit and listen to music with me.

I dropped him off at his house and drove home singing to Journey because yes, I'd apparently sprung a uterus when I wasn't looking, if I kept this up Sammy would start putting tampons on the freakin' grocery list. I slammed through the front door to find Sam sprawled out on the couch watching some show on Vikings from the History Channel. Even I could admit it looked cool.

"Where's Bobby."

"In bed, he wasn't feeling good."

I plopped down on his legs and he let out an indignant huff before pulling his legs out from under me.

"He's probably nursing a hangover, have you had dinner?"

"No, I'm probably just gona' make some mac and cheese."

"You know I'm not for that rabbit food you eat but even I know that doesn't count as supper. At least eat a sandwich."

"Ughhh fine"

"Bitch"

"Jerk"

I settled in content in my corner of the couch and started to doze slightly when Sam shifted and the volume lowered.

"So are you ever going to ask Cas out?"

"I am not having this conversation with you."

"I'm serious Dean."

"So am I, we're not talking about this."

"Why, because you actually care about someone, you have to know he adores you."

"Why do you always assume that two friends, two very dude male friends always have gay tendencies? Can't dudes just be close best friends; it's all that stupid British tv you watch with all the homoerotic undertones."

"You're one to talk, sci fi has so much gay stuff in it it's practically glorified gay romance movies."

I smacked a pillow upside his head and he gave me an annoyed look.

"But I'm serious about you and Cas Dean."

"Sam…I just…this is something I can't screw up ok. And if me not doing anything is going to keep me from screwing everything up then that's how it's going to stay."

"But Dean Cas practically worships you, you're not gona' screw anything up."

"I'm done talking about this Sammy."

"But Dean you have to realize that…"

"I said I'm done, I'm gona' go make you some supper."

I escaped to the kitchen and stood for a moment with my forehead pressed against the refrigerator door taking deep breaths. Damn and Cas had scolded me about needing to share all the prissy girly feelings with Sam. What had he said, that he was the only family I had, I hated it when he was right about crap like this.

I made the little bitch a sandwich and carried a can of sprite with it into the living room. Sam had switched the channel to some Discovery Channel Documentary on freaky twins conjoined at the head and equally appalling stuff.

"Ok fine I'll freakin talk, but only if you turn that freaky crap off."

He smiled and switched to cartoons and turned the volume even lower. We sat quietly for a few minutes as he ate his sandwich.

"You know you can't hide from this forever right."

I scrubbed a hand over my face wearily.

"I know, but I'm a master at procrastination."

"But I mean you'll hate yourself forever if you haven't done anything when it comes to graduation and he leaves. People say they'll stay in touch but it's not true. Wouldn't you have rather tried than to lose him just from miles and time?"

"You are way to freakin smart and mature for a 14 year old you know that."

He gave me a cheeky grin before to my alarm he got his serious face on.

"Can I ask you somethin'?"

I eyed him warily.

"I suppose"

"How come we never talk about mom or…well anything?"

I sighed and pinched my nose.

"I guess it just hurts, is there something you wanted to talk about?"

"Well it's just…dad never told me anything and you hardly ever mention stuff. I don't…I don't remember mom, I don't know anything about her."

"Well for one thing she was gorgeous; you've seen old pictures of her. She loved to cook, I can't remember what they tasted like but I remember her baking tons of pies for dad. She loved the Red Sox and Journey. Her favorite color was purple and she always read me mother Goose nursery rhymes and sang Hey Jude to me at night. She loved Frank Sinatra and her favorite movie was Casablanca. She loved to dance and she knew how to shoot a gun."

"Why…why does dad never come around Dean? Does he hate me, because of what happened to mom?"

I grabbed him up in a firm hug.

"Sammy, God no, dad doesn't hate you, he loves us both I promise. It's hard to explain, you can't remember what happened that night, and it's just, that's what he feels like he has to do, to get mom's killer and not just him but to save other people. He couldn't save mom but we did save you and he can help other people, it's helped him, to just stay sane I think. But I swear to you he doesn't hate you, God he could never hate you."

He sniffled into the crook of my neck.

"I know it's important to him. I just feel like if we were even a little important to him he'd at least come see us. I haven't seen him in two years."

"I can't make excuses for him because he doesn't deserve any in that. I wish I could understand as much as you Sammy."

He pulled out of my hug and stared morosely at the floor.

"What do you think it will take, to get him to ever come back?"

"I don't know, I quit calling him, I quit begging him years ago to come and visit, to just talk to you."

"What happens when you leave for college, when I do, is that it, do we just never see him again?"

I shrugged helplessly.

"I do try you know, to be a decent older brother. I know I suck at it most of the time but I have tried. You mean everything to me dude. But there's just so much crap I don't know man, I hardly know anything. I can't explain any of this shit to you, and I won't lie and tell you everything is fine and bullshit because I just, I haven't a clue."

I clenched my jaw as my throat tightened as Sam turned his sad brown eyes on me.

"Don't ever think you're anything less than the best brother I could ever have."

I swallowed thickly and stood up with a grin.

"Well that was enough exchanging of estrogen for me for the next million years. Make sure to put tampons on our grocery list."

He rolled his eyes at me and flopped back into the couch.

"Jerk"

"Bitch"

**There was my first full chapter strictly from Dean's perspective. I doubt I'll have more than one more, I think I finally found the right voice for him but this is mainly a Cas centered story, pov wise anyways. So this was just mainly emotional for Dean, poor guy, he deals with that so poorly. But I did need to at least lay the foundations for mutual affection before the romance can move forward and I needed a good Sammy/Dean crying bro scene to bond them some before the climax which is going to be heavily on the Sam/Dean brother dynamic and that bond that they share.**

**And for the record, french-fries and chocolate milkshake is the best thing ever.**


	10. Lemon Yellow

**This chapter took so long because I've had some serious writer's block going on and after I wrote the next chapter I reread it and chucked it because it was awful. So let's try this again shall we!**

Cas's P.O.V

I had my head buried in my hands as I laughed from the hilarity and sheer embarrassment of the situation currently unfolding. Jo was whistling and cat calling beside me and Ash, Chuck, and Balthazar were all howling like a pack of wolves. Dean was currently hip gyrating on top of the lunch table to Jo's ipod blaring Thunderstruck through her weird Hello Kitty shaped portable speaker.

Half the lunchroom was laughing and shrieking, one of Dean's jock acquaintances from three tables over waved a dollar bill above his head with a cackle. I giggled awkwardly as I peered out from behind my hands like a little kid watching a scary movie. Jo shrieked as Dean winked and began to pull his t-shirt up exposing his lower abdomen and bellybutton. Damn he had a nice stomach, and he was a really great dancer too.

His shirt was just coming up to expose his six pack and oh my God I was going to be in the floor soon if he kept this up, mortification was only a minor part of it. Our vice principle walked by with an exasperated look on her face and swirling several shades of yellow and rose pink. She'd always had a soft spot for Dean even when he was being a moron.

"For heaven's sakes Dean get down and keep your clothes on."

Dean winked at her and lithely hopped down to sit across from me. He earned a smattering of applause and Jo unplugged her ipod between her bouts of giggling.

"I can't believe you actually did it."

"Well a bets a bet so pay up."

Jo gave a mournful sigh and handed a 20 over. I was still having issues controlling sporadic giggling. Chuck raised his milk carton and cleared his throat.

"Everyone, I have an announcement to make."

Ash elbowed him.

"Do tell us fine sir."

"I'm getting my comic published!"

We all cheered and Dean clapped him on the back.

"Congratulations man you've been working on those things for years."

He was glowing a bright lemon yellow as he beamed. It was well earned, in just the few months I had known him he was always working on them in some way whether it was plot ideas, drawing, coloring or just brainstorming an entire world.

We all raised our milk cartons for a toast as Chuck glowed in multiple ways from his success. Dean elbowed him.

"So dude we haven't gotten updated on the plot in forever, what's going on in book seven?"

Everyone, for once, was sitting quietly and attentively, Chuck usually gave us a biweekly to monthly update on his progress, we were all characters and it was like our own personal soapopera . Even Balthazar enjoyed hearing about the drama of Chuck's Supernatural comic books, though he didn't show it on the outside, I did cheat in most of my knowledge of him.

"Oh I finished seven a couple weeks ago; I've been working on eight for a while."

"Jesus man you're gona have a hundred of these things made by the time we graduate."

Jo shushed Dean impatiently.

"So what's happened?"

"Well you guys know most of seven but Cas kind of gets exploded killing Dick in the end."

I propped my chin on the palm of my hand and grinned.

"Again, how many times does that make it?"

Jo shushed me and Chuck gave me a sheepish grin.

"Well Dean gets caught in the explosion too."

Everyone groaned.

"The both of you get sent to purgatory and that's where eight picks up, with the two of you fighting leviathan."

Dean grimaced.

"I hate those frickin' things."

"Anyways Dean gets out but Cas basically doesn't want to leave because he thinks he needs to repent for killing off half of heaven. I've created a new angel character named Naomi and well…she's a bitch but she kind of brainwashes you and Sam and Dean are trying to close the gates of hell forever by completing these trials."

Everyone gave him startled looks and he sighed melodramatically.

"I haven't gotten there yet but of course it won't work, that would kill the plotline. But Sam is dying."

Ash cut in lazily.

"As usual, when isn't one of them dying?"

"I'm still a little hazy for the ending but…awww man I don't want to spoil it."

Dean smacked him.

"Dude just tell us you're killing me!"

"Ughh, fine, Megaton, who is the voice of God tricks Cas into a spell that makes all of the angels fall and Cas is human now."

"WHAT!" Everyone at the table shrieked.

"I'm human now! Dude that sucks, why would you do that!"

He shrugged sheepishly. Dean frowned.

"What's supposed to happen after that, I mean if Cas turns human that just sort of kicks lots of iconic parts of the story in the balls."

"Yeah not to mention I can't just zap around anymore. Aww and now I can die permanently like Jo."

Jo shot me a dirty look as the bell rang.

~oOo~

"I can't believe you just said Brian Johnson was a bad singer."

Dean sounded as if he was literally too incredulous to actually be mad.

"I didn't say he was a bad singer, I said he sounds like he gargles gravel, and I mean it in a good way, I love Brian Johnson."

The back door of the Impala squealed as Sam threw his backpack in the floor and flopped in.

"What are you two talking about?"

Dean still sounded shocked and horrified and a tinge sad as if he'd have to murder me for my sins or something.

"Cas said Brian Johnson is a bad singer."

I huffed out an exasperated reply.

"I didn't say that, he's an awesome singer! He just sounds like he deep throated a chain saw before he goes on stage."

Sam was leaning forward so that he perched his elbows on the armrest between Dean and me.

"It's true Dean."

"You're both disowned."

Sam and I rolled our eyes at each other as Dean turned the radio up to blare T.N.T at an ear shattering decibel.

When we walked through my front door Sam was chattering about Man of Steel that he'd watched last week.

"Russell Crowe was awesome; I mean when is he not but still. That movie was so awesome."

"I kept getting distracted by how much shit was getting blown up and destroyed. Dude New York got freakin' wiped off the map."

"I thought it was more realistic."

Dean ruffled Sam's floppy hair playfully.

"You're fourteen, you would, shit blows up and it makes everything more realistic."

Sam huffed."Well with all these superhuman beings stuff is going to be getting destroyed and blown up."

I elbowed him with a grin as we walked into the kitchen.

"Alright Michael Bay."

I stopped up short at Gabe sitting at the kitchen counter. I narrowed my eyes at him and glared as I opened the fridge and retrieved several cokes.

"What are you doing here?"

"Eesh, you'd think I'd be welcome in my own home."

Dean snorted and dropped his backpack on the floor.

"Dude you poured beer over my head last time I came over."

"Consider it as an initiation to the family, you're next kiddo."

Dean stepped in front of Sam with a protective frown on his face.

"I will hurt you, be nice to my baby brother."

Sam groaned and shoved Dean out of his way to stick his hand out to shake Gabriel's.

"Don't listen to him, I'm Sam, you're Gabriel right."

Gabe winked and actually shook Sam's hand without pulling anything cruel.

"That's me"

I leaned against the counter and popped the tab on my can.

"Where's mom?"

Dean flopped down gracelessly beside me and Sam hovered by the end of the counter.

"She's out grocery shopping for next week. I think she went to the farmer's market to get a couple of cooking pumpkins for the pies."

Dean got a dreamy look on his face.

"Homemade pumpkin pie."

Gabe rolled his eyes.

"Well it'll probably be Cas's pie since he's a girl and cooks with mom instead of watching football with me and dad."

"You love my pies you assbut."

"It's ok Cas he's probably all purple and princess pink over his secret girly feelings."

Gabe shot Dean a look like he'd grown a second head.

"What the crap are you talking about?"

Dean arched an eyebrow.

"You're glowiness that Cas is always eyeballing."

Now Gabe was really giving Dean a strange look. I squirmed uncomfortably and stomped on Dean's foot. His face twitched and I rolled my eyes and plastered on a smile.

"He doesn't get our inside jokes Dean."

His brow furrowed and he gave me an unhappy and slightly confused look. A light shade of unhappy gray swirled past his shoulder to brush against my arm. I patted his back slightly and gave him a look that clearly said later.

Sam cleared his throat.

"Should you call Bobby Dean, he still wasn't feeling good this morning?"

"Let him sleep, I told him we'd hang out here for a few hours to give him some peace and quiet."

Sam suddenly had his own swirl of faint gray but he said nothing more.

A couple hours later found Sam and Gabe in the living room watching some special on Victorian candy making while Dean and I sat at the counter in the kitchen.

"I can't believe how well they're getting along together."

Dean hmmed.

"Yeah its weird, Gabe's usually an ass, why's he being so nice to Sammy."

I cocked my head to the side and smiled as I watched Sam chattering on about random facts he knew that the documentary wasn't mentioning and Gabe smiled gently.

"Because he likes him, he's a jerk but he's an awesome big brother, he kinds of has that mother hen instinct. And Gabe can be surprisingly gentle when he wants to be."

Dean knocked his shoulder against mine.

"So how do you think you did on the Comp test?"

My stomach fluttered and I warmed a little inside as he scooted his stool closer to mine so that our shoulders pressed together as we leaned over the countertop.

"Alright I suppose, I'll be honest, Shakespeare isn't my favorite."

Dean gave me a lopsided grin and ducked his head a little.

"Yeah I don't really care for him either."

We sat quietly for a couple of minutes, watching Sam chatter excitedly and Gabe grin at his nonstop fact spouting. When I turned my head to say something the thought completely fell out of my head. Dean was pressed up against my side and his face was a mere inches away from mine. He glanced away from the TV to smile at me and his warm breath ghosted between us.

I felt a flush crawling up my neck and I smiled faintly. From this close I could take in his details, his freckles form the sun, his long blonde lashes that most girls would kill for, the greenness of his eyes and the flecks of gold near the edges that caught the light, the slight crookedness of one of his canines. My eyes flickered away from his face as I suddenly noticed a faint trail of light rosy pink fluttering in and out of his outer field.

I felt my eyes widen ever so slightly before I dropped my gaze back down to meet Dean's eyes. He didn't seem to catch my wavering gaze and he gave me a droopy eyed heart melting warm sleepy smile.

"What's that look for."

I couldn't help but smile a bit goofily back because holy mother of Christ my insides had turned to tapioca pudding and I was liquefying into a puddle at the warm gooey eyed gaze he was giving me.

"Nothin' I'm just happy."

Somehow his smile got just a little more heart wrenching and an ache filled my chest before I caught another glance of deep amaranth pink and a million other shades of pinks and reds. I swear my heart stopped for a moment and I forgot how to breathe. My eyes widened slightly and my throat suddenly got thick and I felt like my insides had maybe melted into butter and puddled in my toes.

Dean arched an eyebrow and nudged my shoulder with his.

"What?"

I opened my mouth, to say what I would never know for at that moment Sam shrieked like a ten year old girl and I whipped my head to the living room where Gabe had him held down and was trying to give him a noogi."

I rolled my eyes and grinned.

"Well we couldn't expect the niceness to last forever."

Dean chuckled.

"I just can't believe it lasted as long as it did."

Dean and Sam left a short time later, Dean was all for staying for dinner since my mom came home and was planning on grilling chicken but Sam insisted they needed to get home and check on Bobby. I walked them both to the door and Sam scampered out to the Impala. Dean stopped in the doorway and mock punched my shoulder.

"See ya Monday man."

How was I just now seeing these apparent shades of pinks and reds? I mean they'd been there a while, I'd spent a week agonizing over those shades, the sight of them made me a little sick to my stomach but…after that moment in the kitchen…

Holy shit I think they were for me.

And if they were…Dean didn't just like me…he loved me, a whole helluva' lot more than most happy married couples I saw…maybe more than my parents, more than most people could ever love and that…

It was both terrifying and exhilarating in a way that was leaving me breathless and dazed. But I needed 100% proof. I was pretty sure, a good 75% maybe but I couldn't let myself trust completely, not just based off a bunch of pretty pinks coming off of Dean in waves. I'd been wrong before after all and Dean was so confusing on a simple day.

"Yeah see ya'."

I sounded a little chocked, as if I had something lodged in my throat. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest and I braced the palm of my hand on the bricks behind me for support because I seriously felt like I couldn't stand or hardly stay conscious right now.

He gave me another soul melting smile before jogging down to the Impala. Sam waved out the window as they pulled away from the curb, all sunny smiled, floppy haired and swirling color, just like his big brother. I closed the front door and sagged against it. I took several deep breaths and closed my eyes; I could still feel my heart hammering as if I'd just run a marathon.

The floor creaked and my eyes flew open to see Gabe hovering in the hall. He smiled faintly and a stripe of amusement slid past his neck.

"Dinner's ready freak"

I nodded and heaved myself to a standing position.

"I'm coming"

I went to brush past him but he pressed a gentle hand against my shoulder.

"Tell that kid you love him."

My eyes nearly popped out of my head.

"What?"

"I'm serious; it's almost sad seeing you two interact. You should tell him."

I ducked my head and ran a hand up the back of my neck to ruffle my hair.

"I know…soon, I promise."

He gave a satisfied nod and let me pass. After dinner I closed my bedroom door and collapsed on my bed. I had just closed my eyes and was beginning to drift off when my phone began belting out the guitar rift of Eye of the Tiger. I searched blindly for a minute before grabbing it from under a pile of shirts and answered groggily.

"Hey Dean"

"Cas" His voice cracked and wavered dangerously.

Just one word and I was sitting bolt right up on the bed, ice cold fear and dread sliding down my spine.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Bobby Cas…they're taking him to the hospital."

**Ohmygosh it's this story's first cliffhanger!*hides behind couch* I'm sorry because it all goes a bit downhill from here. Ermmm…hold on for the ride, I swear there's going to be sex eventually, like I'd make a blood oath if I could. It will be more towards the end but they will have sex as teenagers ;) and I'm planning on there being awesome man sex in the epilogue**

**Review review review!You guys have gotten plum skimpy with telling me what you think. If I don't get some of you guys telling me what you think I'm gona start boycotting and picketing :P**

**And just to be a bitch I'll tell you the original version of this chapter there was a make out scene in the Express changing rooms, eheheheh :P**


	11. Storm Gray

Cas's P.O.V

I thundered down the stairs while half shoving my feet in shoes. I burst into the kitchen and grabbed my dad's keys off the counter. Both of my parents and Gabe gave me startled looks.

"Where are you in a rush to?"

I grabbed my jacket from the back of the couch and hurriedly began cramming my arms down the sleeves.

"Bobby's being taken to the hospital."

Gabe frowned."Is that Dean and Sam's uncle?"

I kissed my mom on the forehead and headed for the door.

"I'll text you guys later."

I probably broke at least 10 traffic laws speeding to the hospital and nervously tapping the steering wheel. Dean hadn't said what was wrong, just told me he was being taken by ambulance and abruptly hung up. I parked and ran to the E.R in a blur before I rushed into the waiting room. I spotted Sam bent over in a chair with his head in his hands but no Dean. I quietly sat down in the faded green chair beside him.

"You heard anything yet?"

He wearily lifted his head to reveal red rimmed eyes.

"No, Dean's off harassing doctors right now."

I rubbed his shoulder and glanced back to the information desk worriedly.

"What happened?"

He lowered his head and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I went to check on him and he…he wouldn't wake up. He was hardly breathing and God, he was so pale, I thought he was dead."

We sat tensely for a few minutes, Sam with his head buried in his hands and shoulders tense as I kept a hand gently rested against his shoulder blade. Sam finally lifted his head at Dean's heavy approaching footsteps. He looked pale and tired but not desolate, that was good.

"They've got him stabilized and he's on a respirator. Doc says he fell into a light coma; they're running diagnostics to figure out what's wrong but he says with the symptoms right now he's suspecting exposure to a toxin of some sort."

Sam seemed to take a deep breath as Dean sagged down beside me. He had a halo of ash gray hovering around his head like a dark storm cloud. I rested an unsure hand on his shoulder and he gave me a slight exhausted smile.

"You didn't have to come, I just called you to let ya' know, let the guys know tomorrow."

"Of course I was going to come moron."

It made me feel just the little bit easier that the gray lightened ever so slightly.

We sat in the waiting room for several more hours as the doctors ran tests. Dean had shoved a wad of cash into Sam's hand and ushered him off to the cafeteria for food and coffee. I watched as he leaned his head back to rest on the edge of his chair and sighed.

"Should you call your dad?"

He barked out a humorless laugh.

"And say what. There's nothing he can do and he won't drop everything in D.C to come check on Bobby…and Sam."

"What about you?"

Another dry chuckle.

"It's never been much about me, that's fine, I just wish he'd realize Sammy wants a dad, his real dad."

The waiting room was near abandoned now; no one had come rushing through bleeding or vomiting in at least 30 minutes. Dean looked exhausted.

"You should go home man; it's like the ass crack of dawn."

I frowned unhappily.

"I would stay but my dad has a meeting with some directors tomorrow morning and needs the car. Call me as soon as you find out something, I don't care if his breathing changes let me know."

He gave me a soft eyed smile and despite the gray cloud a small smattering of pink glimmered amongst the storm cloud.

"I will, go get some rest Cas."

I hesitated for a moment, my immediate gut reaction was to bend down and kiss him, grip his shoulders tight, and now I knew that maybe…maybe he would welcome that but…now just wasn't a good time to drop that bomb on him. So instead I laid my hand on his shoulder for a moment before trudging out to the dark nearly empty emergency room parking lot.

I drove home in a heavy lidded haze and wearily stumbled through the front door and shucked my shoes and jacket onto the floor. I made my way through the kitchen and cursed as I stumbled across a stool and it fell to the hardwood with a crash. A minute or so later dad blearily popped his head around the door from the hallway.

"How is he?"

Half asleep I filled up a cup of water and guzzled it before tossing the glass in the sink.

"In a coma, the doctors are running tests; they don't know the cause right now."

He gave a worried frown.

"How are Dean and Sam doing?"

"Holding together considering the circumstances."

_Two Days Later_

I silently handed Dean a Styrofoam cup of steaming coffee. He straitened from the slouched position he'd been in at Bobby's bedside and accepted the cup with a grateful glance.

"Thanks man"

I pulled up a rolly chair to plop down in and sipped at my own coffee.

"Any updates from the doctors?"

He sighed and scrubbed at his forehead agitatedly.

"Not really, doc says they've isolated that it is a foreign toxin but they haven't figured out what yet."

I bit my lip and cast a worried glance over Bobby, whose aura was so faint I could barely make it out.

"Doesn't that seem weird, foreign toxin?"

Dean shrugged.

"That's what I said but doc says it could be almost anything, and with Bobby working with old cars there's no telling what he's come into contact with."

We sat quietly for a while, beeping and the steady whoosh and gust of Bobby's supplied oxygen filling the air.

"Everyone's worried about you, Jo is gona' drop by later, I think the others are planning on coming over tomorrow."

He nodded a bit blankly, the still gray cast over him made my heart ache. I placed a hesitant hand on his arm. He glanced up slightly startled.

"Do you need me to do anything Dean?"

"Actually could you pick up Sammy from school for me tomorrow?"

"Yeah of course, but man you've been here for three days straight. You've got to go home and get some rest; the doctors will call you if there are any changes."

He shook his head mutely.

"Neither Sam or I can stand to be at the house alone; it just feels creepy without Bobby."

"Then come stay with me."

"Dude I'm not gona…"

"Gabe dropped me off on his way back to campus. We can drop by your house and grab your clothes and stuff and we'll go to my place."

I gave him a firm stare as he opened his mouth to protest before shutting it and giving me a tired grateful smile.

"Let me go find Sam, I think he's outside doing homework."

We walked out together and I called my mom while Dean wandered off to find Sam.

"Hey baby"

"Hey mom, is it okay for Dean and Sam to stay with us?"

"You don't have to ask, I'll change the sheets in the spare room. What do you think they'll want for supper?"

"Just about anything is fine, they both eat like horses."

I answered mom's questions for a couple more minutes before Dean appeared with Sam in tow and I let her go. We piled into the Impala and Dean for once had the radio humming quietly in the background.

"Mom says you to are to stay as long as Bobby's in the hospital, I think she threatened you bodily harm if you try to resist."

They were both so tired and miserable but they both lightened a bit at my mother's paternal mother henning.

Later that evening after my mom had coddled and fussed over the both of them to her satisfaction and fed us all we sat in the living room watching a Psych rerun. Sam sat in the armchair with a pillow clutched to his chest and his legs crossed, completely engrossed.

Dean lay splayed along the entirety of the couch, legs draped over my lap and feet propped up on the armrest. He was wearing an old worn Kermit the Frog t-shirt with bleach stains and black cotton running pants; I had my feet propped up on the table and had my arms folded over Dean's ankles.

"Sammy Cas is gona' pick you up from school tomorrow."

Sam sighed and whined.

"Come on Dean it's the last day before Thanksgiving break starts, do I have to go?"

I could see Dean's jaw set out of the corner of my eye.

"I know you have that History test tomorrow, one day won't kill you."

Sam sighed but went back to watching Shawn and Gus trying to cover up a crime scene. We watched tv until 11 when Dean booted Sam to bed and we slowly wandered upstairs to do the same. Dean stopped at the top of the stairs and ducked his head.

"Thanks Cas"

"For what?"

He smiled and a light trail of rosy pink wafted around him in a graceful arc.

"For everything, you've been at the hospital as much as me and making us stay here and taking care of Sam."

I gazed at him as he was pointedly avoiding eye contact.

"Of course I'm gona' stick with you."

He finally lifted his eyes to grin at me. His eyes positively sparkled in the shadows of the hall.

"We always gona' stick together then, we'll be those two old dudes in a park playing chess and so senile we don't know our own names."

I snorted and as my heart leapt into my throat I grabbed his hand and clutched it in my own sweaty grip.

"Dean I…"

His eyes softened and my heartbeat was pulsing in my ears.

"Yeah, I'm prolly' lit up and oozing hearts everywhere aren't I?"

I smiled.

"If it's any consolation I didn't realize until Friday."

His eyes danced away to stare down the hall awkwardly, I realized I was still holding his limp hand.

"Look man I'm so…"

"Don't apologize" I stated firmly.

His gaze flitted back to me and he scrunched his nose in slight confusion. I gave him a dangerous look.

"Don't you dare apologize or I'll be forced to shove you down the stairs."

His mouth set in an unreadable line and I couldn't understand his confusing swirls of contradicting colors.

"Well what am I supposed to say?"

I was trying very hard not to smack him…or make good on my shoving down stairs threat.

"What do you think fucktard?"

Now he looked utterly lost, floundering in his confusion of his situation at the moment. He opened his mouth to speak but still looked rather unsure of his footing in what was happening.

"I…would you go out with me than?"

I gave a fond smile, there, he finally caught up. I tilted my head back just a little and pulled him forward by our still clutched hands and let him gauge the situation for a moment. Our chests were almost pressed together and we were breathing the same air. I felt my eyes flutter and my pulse was still throbbing in my ears. He exhaled slowly and leaned down to brush his lips lightly against mine.

Both of our mouths were dry, rough skin caught slightly on rough skin. He tasted like brownies and ice cream from dessert. I lifted my chin to press our mouths more firmly together. I grabbed his shoulder and he pulled me in by my hip. We stood there for several minutes, just slowly moving our mouths together and holding each other tight.

I felt lightheaded, my knees were shaking and my breathing was uneven despite the fact that it had been a chaste kiss. We pulled apart and I opened my eyes to realize that Dean was quite literally glowing. He practically lit up the entire hallway with a yellow so intense it gave the same affect of a light bulb, so bright it shown white like staring into the sun.

My chest swelled with such an intense emotion, I nearly ached with it. It left me breathless.

We grinned goofily at each other for a minute before Dean pulled me in for a hug. He buried his head in the crook of my neck and huffed out a laugh.

"Damn"

I hmmed in agreement and we separated. I gave him another quick kiss and ran my hand up his arm to squeeze his shoulder.

"We need to get to bed."

"I take it that was a yes?"

I rolled my eyes and playfully shoved him towards the spare room.

"No that's just how I reject all of my suitors."

He chortled as he stepped through the door and closed it quietly. You only get that kind of laugh from sheer happiness. I stood for a moment and blinked. I could hardly believe what just happened. But I quietly turned off the light and crawled into bed only to have my phone buzz.

_Goodnight Cas see you in the morning_

_Goodnight Dean_

**Oh it totally finally happened ladies and gentlemen. And this prepares you guys for the impending doom. I had initially planned for the two of them to not get together until after…well…what's about to go down but you'll see why I decided to go ahead and at least have them know the other likes the other.**

**However neither knows the other actually loves the other, damn I feel like I just wrote a line to a romcom. **


	12. Ash White

**As always thanks for the reviews my lovelies. **

Cas's P.O.V

You'd have thought my mom had put something in the food for dinner with how out of it and exhausted Sam and I were for school the next morning. I guzzled two mugs of black coffee half asleep while Sam blearily slurped down a bowl of soggy cereal. Dean was still fast asleep and I warmed a little from the night before, my stomach did several summersaults just from the thought of kissing him, Jesus I was a girl.

Dean had left the Impala keys on the counter for me, he'd insisted I drive it to school and pick up Sam, my mom was dropping Dean off at the hospital.

It was in the middle of second period that my phone buzzed.

_Dean: Doc says they've isolated that it's a natural toxin, so no car chemicals_

_He say if they have a clue about a cure?_

_Dean: No I think they still don't know what theyre dealing with. Doc does say he's not regressing though_

_That's good atleast this isn't turning into a battle against time_

_Dean:Thankfull for small miracles I guess. See ya later _

_Sam and I will be the hospital right after school_

_Dean: I know, watch after my baby ;)_

It was a quick day. None of my teachers were assigning homework or assignments the day before fall break and most of us seniors slept through most of our classes. The final bell rang and Jo followed me out to the parking lot.

"But how is he doing really. You can read him better than anyone."

I leaned against the side of the Impala and sighed.

"It's hard to describe. You know how masochistic he is, it's as if he doesn't matter enough to be hurting right now. It's all about Sam and every other flipping person on this planet but him. I'd say he's dealing with it as well as you'd expect."

Jo sighed and nudged my shoulder with hers and smiled.

"And it really helps him with you being there."

I shrugged and she laughed knowingly walking away to her truck as I climbed into the Impala while the door shrieked at me. I drove to the middle school with the radio humming the station Dean had left it on gently. Most of the traffic had already cleared through and I pulled up to the curb and put Dean's baby in park. I watched idly as awkward young teenagers scrambled to get into parents' cars and load up on buses.

Ten minutes passed before I frowned at the clock and pulled my phone out to call his cell phone. It rang till his chipper voicemail sounded out and I frowned at the clock. He wasn't in any after school programs and he hadn't mentioned something going on last night. He was probably caught up in the hallway with friends or a girl. Another ten minutes passed and I called his cell a couple more times; worry now starting to creep into the back of my mind.

The parking lot and parent pickup area were now nearly deserted; the last couple of buses had picked up loan stragglers several minutes ago. I sat for another five minutes before peeping into the front office and awkwardly clearing my throat at the grumpy looking secretary.

"Excuse me, I'm supposed to be picking up Sam Winchester and he hasn't shown up. Do you know if there are any after school programs going on today?"

She squinted her eyes up and swiveled her chair around to pick up an old 90's house phone and punched in a couple of numbers.

"Mrs. Jenkins, was that Samuel Winchester that didn't show up to 6th period today?"

She nodded her head and hmmed several times before sliding the phone back in place.

"Sam didn't show up to 6th period today. Maybe he's out with some friends?"

A cold creeping anxiety was inching up my spine and I fought to keep my heart steady.

"I highly doubt it but thanks anyway."

I marched out to the car and dialed Dean's number hurriedly.

"Hey man, I figured you two would be here by now."

I slammed the Impala door and clutched the phone.

"Sam's not here Dean."

"…What?"

His voice went steely calm. I glanced about the parking lot, still hoping to catch a last glimpse of floppy brown hair.

"Well I've been waiting on him for a while and I went in to see if there were any after school programs and the office lady said he didn't show up to 6th period."

"Sam doesn't skip."

His voice had gone up a little now, not quite shrill but gaining a slight panicky twinge.

"I know, I've tried calling him several times and he's not answering."

I had been keeping my overreacting fears squashed firmly in place before but now sitting in the Impala hearing Dean's voice go panicked I could feel the dread and worry racketing back up.

"Drive around the school and blocks and see if he's walking somewhere, I'll try calling his cell and a couple of his friends."

We hung up and I began to scour the nearby neighborhoods and surrounding area of both the middle and high school. Half an hour later Eye of the Tiger rang out and I answered on the first ring.

"Did you get him?"

"No"

Now his voice was shrill. I took a deep breath and made a highly illegal u-turn.

"I'll drive over to Bobby's and my place. Is there anywhere else me might go to?"

I could hear elevator doors beeping and distant chatter from Dean's end.

"I'd say his friend Jessica's but I called her and her parents. He's not over there, try checking over at the Southgreen Park, he likes to run out on the bike trail sometimes."

"Okay, keep trying to call his cell and call me if you get him."

"Cas" His voice broke slightly, going hoarse.

"Yeah Dean"

"Find him"

"Don't worry, I will"

I called Gabe immediately after, the moment he answered I rushed out.

"Are you at the house?"

"Yeahhhh…."

"Is Sam with you?"

Normally he'd be making quips or jokes, Gabe was insurable to talk with on the phone but he was strangely silent, I must have sounded more panicked than I supposed.

"No, what's wrong?"

I quickly caught him up on the current situation and he sighed.

"Cassy he's a teenager, he's probably just off having fun with friends, aren't you and Dean spazzing out a little?"

I was quickly clambering out of the Impala and jogging up the front porch steps of Bobby's old house.

"Gabe Sam and Dean live with Bobby because they're mom was killed by a serial killer and Sam got kidnapped when he was a kid, they never caught the sonabitch."

Gabe swore loudly and I heard a crash as I unlocked the door with Dean's keys.

"Sam are you here? SAM?"

"Why did you never tell me this before?!"

"It's private, plus how do you bring that up in a conversation? SAM?"

I checked in all of the bedrooms and upstairs before locking the house and jumping back in the Impala.

"Well he's not here and he's not with you, Dean told me to check Southgreen Park but after that I don't know where he could be."

"The kid have a girlfriend or something, he could be off screwing some chick in a car somewhere."

"Already called all his friends, he's not with anyone, hey Dean's beeping in let me call you back."

I swerved a little as I switched lines on the phone and lifted a little weight off the gas pedal when I read the speedometer.

"You get anything?"

"No, was he not at Bobby's"

"No and he's not at my house, I called Gabe, I'm heading over to Southgreen now, can you think of anything else?"

Dean huffed and his voice sounded tight.

"No"

"I'll call you after I search the park."

It was another hour before I had ran the entire bike trail and collapsed against the Impala sweating and gasping. I called Dean and huffed out dejectedly.

"He's not here…we…we should call the police Dean."

"He's not even been missing for five hours; they're not going to do a damn thing."

"Well I'll head to the hospital and get you, we can figure out where to go from there, sound good?"

Dean's P.O.V

Cas hung up the phone and I stared down at the cell in my hand a bit blankly. I sat on a bench in the walking garden behind the hospital; the only other person out there was an old veteran leaning on a cane and smoking. I stared at the phone a bit longer before bringing up the contacts list and scrolling as if on autopilot. I stopped over a number I hadn't used in two years and let my thumb press slowly.

I sat for a minute with the phone to my ear and listened to the trill of an automatic ring. My heart sank to my boots as I was beginning to realize the call would go unanswered when in the middle of the last ring a click sounded.

"Dean?"

"Dad? My voice wavered dangerously, I mentally shoved myself, I sounded like a terrified 4 year old all over again.

"What's wrong son?"

"It's Sammy…"

I could hear the background noise of an office.

"Give me the details."

His voice was just as I remembered, so solemn and serious, deep and gravely.

"He's only been gone near four hours. He didn't show up to 6th period and Cas and I, my friend, we've looked everywhere, called everyone, I've been calling and texting him constantly, can't get anything."

"Have you called the police?"

"Four hours dad, they're not going to do anything."

"I'll contact the police station, if he doesn't show up within 24 hours my team and I will be on the first flight in. We've been tracking a possible subject for yellow eyes near a month but there hasn't been any suspicious movement and nothing has alerted our programs or experts."

I scrubbed a hand over my face and snorted out a furious huff.

"And you didn't think to call me, to call Sam to be careful, that we could be in danger."

"I couldn't afford to possibly let the subject catch aware that we've been watching and…"

"Bullshit" I yelled furiously into the phone. The old smoking veteran gave me a startled glance.

"You haven't tried contacting either of us in two years! Now Sam's gone! Did you even know Bobby's in the hospital, in a coma, he could die and you didn't call!"

"Dean" His voice went a little softer, sounding slightly pained.

"Don't fuckin Dean me, he needed you, he's always needed you and you weren't there because you were too caught up in your own world to remember you have fuckin' kids that just wanted their dad. Now Sam's gone…" My voice broke and I choked back a hysterical panicked sob.

"Now Sam's gone…"

His voice went cold as steel.

"My team and I are flying in on the earliest flight; I'll contact the local police force. Go ahead and drive to the police station and put in your statement and the details so far, I'll call you when we get to Lawrence."

The line went dead and I dropped the phone and hung my head, clutching my hands over the back of my neck. I felt sick, my stomach rolled dangerously and bile stung the back of my throat. Jesus he hadn't wanted to go to school today. Fuck, I squeezed my eyes shut; I'd made him go to school today. Twice, twice I'd lost Sam.

Once, so many years ago, I'd stood huddled against a police cruiser, clutching Sammy to my chest as he screamed and yowled. Smoke had clogged my eyes and made my throat burn, a man stepped up to me wearing a filthy fire fighter's uniform. He's smiled and bent to one knee.

"You want me to hold him for a second buddy?"

His eyes were yellowed, a horrible murky mustard tinge from a failing liver and probably enough booze to kill an elephant. I'd clutched Sammy even tighter to my chest even as his screaming escalated to hysterical ear shattering wails. Dad had told me not to let Sammy go, I wasn't supposed to let him go. I shook my head and frowned.

"Hey it's ok, I won't hurt him, I can calm him down if you want."

Somehow his shrieking only grew louder and after all, at day care Miss Tessa said to always trust police and firefighters. I handed a screaming Sam over to him uncertainly and the firefighter smiled and Sam quieted almost instantly in his arms.

I still couldn't remember the next few minutes clearly. It had swirled together to form one confusing haze. Half the house had caved in and firefighters had swarmed everywhere, smoke billowing across the yard, ash and mist raining down everywhere. I'd searched and searched for hours, but I could never find the firefighter with yellow eyes holding my baby brother.

And now…Jesus, now it was happening all over again. And I'd promised dad to never let him go. I was supposed to take care of him, oh God.

I lurched to my feet and spewed up the meager breakfast I'd eaten into a scraggly Holly bush. I held myself upright against the side of the bench and my legs quaked dangerously. I was rattling like a tin can as I dry heaved before collapsing into the bench and shuddering.

My eyes flew open when a worried voice piped up near me.

"Son, you look like yer havin' one hell of a shitty day."

The old veteran eyed me perceptively over the cigarette he clutched in one gnarly spotted hand.

"It's kind of been one hell of a shitty week."

He hmphed and sagged down with the support of his cane beside me. The heavy reek of smoke made my empty stomach churn and I fought the urge to double over and dry heave some more.

We sat quietly for a minute before he silently offered the cigarette over. Despite my stomach I took it and inhaled deeply before passing it back over. He stared at it for a bit with a contemplative look on his face.

"Picked it up in the army, wasn't till Normandy that I got hooked on em' though."

I could hear a fast approaching ambulance in the distance, sirens wailing.

"As damn terrible as it got I was always grateful I didn't get my brother Leonard's lot, he got deployed to the South Pacific."

He heaved a very old and very weary sigh.

"He died after Germany surrendered, kamikaze pilot crashed into the aircraft carrier he was stationed on."

I frowned down at my boots.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I'm not tellin' you for pity son. You go find that brother of yours."

**And shit hit the fan folks! Sorry this chapter was mostly phone calls, we had to establish poor Sam's current situation and the detrimental phone call with John I've been planning for about 8 chapters ;)**

**The old veteran is actually kind of based off an old guy I met when I was at the hospital back in February (my sister was having a kid) and I was outside in the park. I sat and wound up talking to this old veteran who was something like 93 and had been smoking since WWII. Anyways kudos to the awesome veteran I randomly met, I have the biggest love and adoration for WWII soldiers …:)**


	13. Plum Purple

**Thanks for all the reviews lovelies, I'm sorry the last chapter freaked you out so bad D: And I'm especially sorry it's about to get 10 times worse. Urmmm…sorry?**

Cas's P.O.V

Dean was two things on the ride to the police station, extremely quiet and extremely pale. He'd insisted on driving even though he looked like he was a second away from hurling. But what worried me more than anything was the deep smoky gray clouding all his bright and beautiful colors. He was downcast with Bobby, worried and stressed and scared but with Sam…Sam was the most precious thing in all of existence to Dean. He'd practically raised him, took care of him and was a father, mother, and big brother all rolled into one.

And most likely he was silently blaming himself; I didn't need to see his soul to know he was reflecting on last night's conversation, making Sam go to school when he hadn't wanted to. But no matter what I said, no matter what anyone said he would blame himself, he was painfully responsible like that, most kids our age were shirking off every blame and responsibility even mentioned their way but Dean…Dean sometimes let the entire world rest on his shoulders, even when he didn't need to, sometimes especially when he didn't need to and there was nothing to stop that.

The radio wasn't playing for the first time I had ever ridden in Dean's baby, the only sound was the heater humming and the engine rumbling. Just as we were nearing the police station Dean swallowed thickly.

"I called my dad."

Four words, four words so inconsequential to most people, four words that I knew probably meant more to Dean than anyone I knew. Four words I never expected to hear from him.

"What did he say?"

"He's coming home."

That made him ache inside, I could see that, it made him hurt so deeply because as much as he denied it, brushed it off and made nothing of it his father's abandonment cut him more deep than anything. He loved his father, any idiot could see that, and he was always saying how much Sam needed and missed him, but Dean needed him just as much if not more. But as always Dean came last in his book, humans are supposed to be selfish beings; even subconsciously we're supposed to put ourselves before others but not with Dean. He was possibly the most selfless person I'd ever met, and you wouldn't know it just to look at him, because surprisingly he was humble, where it counted anyways.

Lawrence Police Department wasn't a big fancy place. Lawrence wasn't a big fancy place, besides the tragedy of the Winchesters nothing big had really happened in the past twenty years. Sheriff Mills was a good woman, and it was her we bumped into as she was pushing out the door. She cast us both a surprised look.

"Dean Winchester, is everything alright?"

His face had gone tight, mouth drawn in a thin line.

"I'm here to report Sam missing."

She immediately released the door handle and stepped back to let us through.

"Come with me to my office boys."

We sat in two identical chairs in front of her desk and she began typing at her computer.

"How long has he been gone Dean?"

"Since about 2 p.m. The school secretary said he didn't show up for sixth period."

"I'll be blunt Dean, do you think this is a kidnapping."

For the slightest second Dean shot me the most panicked look before he schooled his features, but I didn't need to see his face to read the sudden cold terror he was feeling.

"Yes ma'am, I called my father and he and his men are flying in from D.C."

She nodded.

"Good, now I know you're not dumb son but I'll have some of my officers check in all the routine places, the school and surrounding area, common places teenagers hang out around here."

We both nodded and her gaze suddenly switched to me, she gave me a thorough stare that made me squirm, was this how people felt when I stared at them too long for comfort?

"I don't believe I know you."

"I'm Castiel Novak."

Dean was rubbing the back of his neck tiredly.

"He's my best friend sheriff; he's been helping me look for Sam."

She nodded.

"Alright well let's go through all the details for the report, I'll send out some of my men…and I'll go pull the files from when he was first kidnapped."

~oOo~

"Dean"

He sat hunched over in an old worn plastic chair, his head sagged and he looked…so bleak…so broken and miserable. He slowly raised his head and gazed at me from under his lashes. The sight broke my heart. I handed him a steaming mug of coffee and slid into the chair beside him. We sat for several minutes listening to the sounds of the police department, typing, phones ringing, printers and the like.

"I've lost him twice you know."

"You haven't lost him, he was taken from you."

He swallowed and stared into the abyss of his cup with this…this look on his face. The kind you saw in tv shows that the character would make when they'd reached this point of horror and sorrow, and then this monumental decision would be made. The character was given a choice, a crossroads and they could take one road or another. But the problem was, I didn't have a clue of what the two choices were in this story, or the two paths to be travelled.

"He was mine to look after and take care of; having him taken away from me is the same as losing him because he was mine to keep safe."

How do you comfort someone in this situation? In the books and movies I loved so much the character always had the witty or important thing to say. In that scene where their friend is at the end of their ropes they always have the perfect thing to say to comfort and reassure and make them come to a realization but I didn't have that. Because as much as it sucked, this was real life and not some convenient Hollywood plotline with classy special affects and memorable one liners.

So we sat quietly while I internally debated to find the right thing to say. But when I opened my mouth I didn't have a speech planned or really know how I could make anything better.

"You aren't Superman Dean, you can't always keep what you love safe. In real life everyone you care about gets hurt and most of the time you can't…you can't do anything to stop it. I know you blame yourself for everything, even for the shit that happened when you were four, but the fact is, you're not a superhero, and sometimes the shit that happens, no matter who you are you can't prevent."

He hung his head and sat the mug of coffee on the floor. Beneath the dark tumultuous clouds of gray was a turbulent storm of conflicted colors. He didn't say anything, didn't move, just let his head hang with his eyes tightly shut. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and laid my head against his arm as we sat quietly and I ignored the tear that ran down his face and plopped onto my knee.

~oOo~

It wasn't till later that evening that Dean and I still sat in the police station and my phone buzzed in my pocket did I realize I hadn't called either of my parents to tell them what was going on. Dean's head rested against my shoulder since he'd fallen asleep maybe an hour before. I quietly answered the phone.

"Hey mom"

"Castiel Novak tell me what's going on, a police cruiser showed up at the house looking for Sam and Gabriel said you called him and he was missing and why didn't you call me, where are you?!"

I tilted my head away from Dean and murmured into the phone so as to not wake him up.

"We're at the police station, I'm sorry, it's been…it's been a bad day, everything has kind of slipped my mind."

"Is Sam still missing?"

She sounded close to a panic attack.

"Yeah, Sheriff Mills has several search teams out but nothing's turned up."

I could hear her murmuring to dad in the background.

"Do they think it's the man who killed their mother?"

"How do you…"

"Honey we've lived here for years, you don't ever forget something like that happening sweetheart. You and Dean need to come home tonight honey."

"Mom I don't think I can drag him away tonight, not right now."

"I want you to call me early tomorrow morning you hear me."

"Yeah I will."

"Okay you two stay safe, don't let that boy do anything stupid, call me if there's any news."

"I will, Love you."

"I love you; tell Dean I love him too."

I paused at that as I felt Dean stiffen ever so slightly.

"I will"

I hung up and glanced down to see his bright eyes staring up at me with an unreadable look. I smiled and laid my head against his.

"My mom says she loves us and to call her with any news."

He nodded and his eyes drooped and finally closed, a few minutes later I drifted off to sleep still leaned against him. I woke sometime later to a slight commotion and I lifted my head to peer around with slight confusion.

A handsome dark haired, middle aged man wearing a dark gray suit was arguing with a detective. He waved his hands a couple of times and I eyed his aura contemplatively, good colors, very bright, but he was scarred. Dark gray veins ran deep in his inner core and there were dark plum purplish spots, almost like bruises.

I nudged Dean and his head lolled before his eyes opened drowsily. At the sight of the dark haired man his eyes shot open and he was immediately on his feet.

"Dad?"

Ahhh, so John Winchester in the flesh at last. John turned and it was almost painful to watch, the way they both stood in front of the other eyeing the other uncomfortably and awkwardly. I stood and slowly approached the two a bit unsurely. John's eyes switched to focus on me and Dean turned to pull me forward a little.

"Dad this is…this is Cas"

He eyes me speculatively and offered his hand; I shook it and fell back to Dean's side. We all stood for a moment before Dean cleared his throat.

"Sheriff Mills has been running a search for the past several hours but hasn't turned anything up."

He nodded and started leading us to Sheriff Mills' office.

"I'd like you to meet Kevin Tran; Mr. Tran works for IOSS and has been working on the case for Yellow Eyes for a while now. Mr. Tran have you turned anything up yet?"

Agent Tran turned the laptop screen around for us to see.

"I've been reviewing all of the middle school's surveillance footage. The problem is the school hasn't had adequate funding in years and there aren't enough cameras for even half the school, especially the old wings. I have Sam in the cafeteria and then walking past the gym but after that the cameras don't pick him up again."

"What of our Mr. Smith?"

Dean frowned.

"Who's Mr. Smith?"

"Sam's English teacher Lisa Braden took a leave of absence near a month ago. A Jacob Smith has been the substitute and we've been watching him, technically there wasn't a red flag for alarm but he is suspect number one."

Dean flared with red hot fury.

"YOU LET SAM GO TO SCHOOL WITH THE SON OF A BITCH WHO KILLED MOM!"

"Dean we had no proof of him even remotely being Yellow Eyes and we've had him under surveillance."

Dean was shaking and I placed a gentle hand against the small of his back. He was still fuming but said nothing as agent Tran cleared his throat.

"Mr. Smith seems to check out clean, he left at noon after his last class, cameras pick him up leaving the school and I have him on traffic cams driving through town."

I frowned at the various camera shots on the screen.

"The middle school has cameras at all of the outside doors, shouldn't there be some footage of him leaving the school, at some time during the day."

Agent Tran shook his head.

"I've been over the footage again and again but there's nothing, and all of this footage is clean, nothing has been tampered with."

I turned to John.

"Well shouldn't you check the school then, make sure he's not still there."

At that moment Sheriff Mills walked through the door.

"I had my men check through the school and they turned up nothing about half an hour ago."

John nodded.

"My partner Henrickson and I are going to Smith's house."

Sheriff Mills pulled a cell phone out of her back pocket.

"I'll get you your warrant."

John nodded to me and Dean before pulling his phone out and barking into it as he left the office. Dean and I stared at each other a bit helplessly for a moment before Agent Tran glanced at us.

"You two want to look over surveillance footage with me?"

Dean smiled gratefully and we took a seat.

~oOo~

I rubbed blearily at my eyes and took another deep gulp of coffee so thick it was like tar. The clock on the desk read 6 a.m. and we were all still reviewing surveillance footage. John and his partner Henrickson had visited Smith's house to find the place empty. They'd run lights over everything to check for blood and tried for fingerprints but the place was completely clean.

Now they were checking out Lisa Braden's house John had called to say at a first sweep the place was clean, hadn't been touched in over a month.

We were trying to think of anything at this point. Sam's phone had been switched off, Agent Tran had said it was impossible to track it by satellite; the phone had most likely been destroyed. A MP had been called out on tv and the radio but no one had called in.

The gray cloud hanging about Dean had grown darker and he looked pale and gaunt with dark purple bruises under his eyes.

My heart sank to the bottom of my shoes when I had to call my mom with no news. We had nothing, every lead was taking us nowhere and there was just the plain simple fact that no one knew what had happened to him. There was nothing, no surveillance footage, no fingerprints or even a whiff of an explanation.

In the backs of all our minds was a giant clock ticking, we had to find him soon, they always said before 48 hours but God 24 was just as bad wasn't it? And 24 hours would be coming up this afternoon. My head ached and every time this gigantic amount of indescribable panic and fear would settle on my shoulders I'd have to shrug it off and try and stomp it down. Not now, I couldn't let that consume me now.

Sam needed us to think with clear heads and not blind panic. But Jesus how I wanted to lay my head in my arms and cry, I loved Sam like a brother, I couldn't say I felt the way Dean did, God I knew I felt nothing in comparison to him, but it still made me ache deep inside. I don't know if I could handle the pain Dean was feeling.

Dean and I sat in Sheriff Mills' office alone, Agent Tran had gone to take a piss and we sat studying footage, we had been for hours. I rubbed my temples and screwed my eyes up in pain from the near blinding headache trying to split my skull in two. I took another deep scalding gulp of coffee and sighed.

"I know it's stupid but something's been bothering me all night."

Dean eyed me over his own mug of coffee.

"What's that?"

"That there's no footage of Sam leaving the school, there should be some kind of something, there's cameras of the parking lots and all outside doors, there just should be something."

"The police already went through the school Cas."

"Yeah" I frowned at the footage in front me and tapped the rim of my mug in contemplation.

"Could one of the cameras have been turned off?"

"Wouldn't they have caught that, security footage missing; they have all the cameras numbered."

"I don't like this Dean, I don't like this at all."

**I did look up how long a flight would take from D.C to Lawrence Kansas, 2 hours and 11 minutes so no it's not unrealistic for John to have gotten home so fast I promise! Yeah poor Sammy is still MIA and I'm afraid to report he's going to remain that way for a bit longer. Brace yourselves because there's gona be a few cliffys here for a while.**

**My playlist for this chapter was the Inception soundtrack song ****Time**** on repeat ^.^**


	14. Kelly Green

**A thousand apologies for this taking two blue billion years to get posted. I started school last week and life's been a little crazy. I've been busy getting my ass handed to me by my Comp professor. Hopefully once I get used to actually having a life I'll find time to write more for this story and not just my classes ^.^**

Cas's P.O.V

I glanced in the mirror as I washed my hands and what stared back was what looked like a corpse. I looked gaunt and pale and dark purple bruises rested underneath my eyes so dark it was beginning to look like I'd broken my nose. My hair looked like I'd stuck my finger in a light socket and then maybe rubbed a balloon through my hair for good measure. I grimaced and ducked out of the police station bathroom to wearily trump back to the Sheriff's office.

Dean still sat hunched over a laptop screen digging his thumbs into his temples, just the way I'd left him. He was clouded with deep ash grays and smudges of charcoal, sickly yellow and navy blue. Bright patches that had swirled sapphire and aquamarine were darkening to ill looking teals and Kelly green.

The modern glowing clock on the desk blinked to show the time at 2:03 p.m. I glanced out the window to see the sun resting high in the clear blue fall sky. Dean had convinced John and his men to scour through the school again because I couldn't seem to shake the wrongness I was feeling. They'd turned up nothing and Dean had darkened even further.

Suddenly Dean's cell phone rang a generic strum of a guitar to signal it was from an unknown caller. His brow furrowed as he answered with a deep timbered hello. What happened next will always be seared into my memory like a burning brand. My stomach rolled and I swallowed down bile as I flinched because I could hear the blood curling scream from across the room. Dean was on his feet and screaming before I could even comprehend what was happening.

"YOU SICK FUCK!I'M GOING TO FIND YOU AND MY BROTHER AND GOD HELP ME BECAUSE I'LL TAKE YOU TO HELL MYSELF!DON'T LAY ANOTHER GODAMN FINGER ON MY BROTHER!"

John, the Sheriff and Agent Tran came tearing into the room. I threw my hand over my mouth to keep from hurling on the floor as another scream ripped through the speaker, a high keen that no creature should ever make. It spoke a billion words of indescribable pain and anguish, unspeakable terror and torment.

Dean turned the phone on speaker, dropped it on the desk and turned away to grip his hair with one hand while the other braced himself against the wall while he shook and shuddered.

A chuckle emitted from the phone, the kind to make your skin crawl, your blood freeze and your heart seize in horror. I closed my eyes and a lone tear ran down my cheek as Sam sobbed and begged for it to stop, dear God please let it stop, kill me just please God make him stop.

"Tut tut Sammy, we can't have you leaving just yet. I'm not quite throughhhh withhhh youuuuu."

He sang out the last part in a lilting cajole, like a child playing a game of hide and seek.

"But this isn't why I called at all, no not a bit; this is your goodbye to family. Since you're so special I thought I'd show some compassion, your last words to those you love….Say goodbye to Dean Sammy…"

Agent Tran was furiously typing at his computer, I'm not sure if I'd ever seen anyone move so fast in my life. Dean continued to shake and cringe by the window with his eyes squeezed shut.

Sam choked out a high whine…there aren't words to describe that sound. He part moaned, part sobbed, as he gurgled out Dean's name brokenly.

"De…ean…"

Dean choked down a sob as he collapsed by the desk.

"I'm hear Sam."

"I…I'm sorry."

I could barely understand him as he sobbed uncontrollably. Dean sat silent and still while tears poured down his face.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Sammy. I'm going to find you and I'm going to save you."

Dean's voice switched from an almost soft whisper to something that made the hairs on my arms stand on end and a shiver run down my spine. He sounded as if someone had sucked every emotion he'd ever had out of him, like a lifeless husk of nothing. Something soulless that didn't care about anything.

"When I find Sam and I see what you've done I am going to make you beg for hell. There won't be anything left of you to find and when I'm through Lucifer and his legions of damnation will be more merciful than I."

There was a pause and a chuckle.

"Big words for such a scared little boy, but you'll never find me Dean."

The look that entered Dean's eyes was the stuff of horror stories and nightmares.

"I will find you, and you _will_ beg like a bitch for me to end it all, you will regret ever laying a hand on my baby brother I promise you that, no one lays a Godamn finger on my Sam."

The call ended and Agent Tran slammed his fist on the computer keyboard in obvious defeat while Dean stood. His face was devoid of any emotion, there was nothing, but what made me shake and cringe was the nothingness around him. There was no color, no light, not even a glimmer of energy that should show he was alive. It was like staring into the eyes of a dead man because from everything I knew, this meant that he was.

And just as I felt my soul sink with ice cold terror and horror there was a spark as if a flint had been struck. A soft glow flickered and then he exploded with light. There was no color, just a radiant and almost blinding white that pulsed with his heart.

I gazed in confused wonder. Cold righteous fury the likes of which I'd never even imagined existed. Because that's what this was, a hatred and anger so deep, so strong that it bleached all color away.

He strode out of the room without a backwards glance as John and Sheriff Mills yelled after him. I stood for a moment before I shoved through the door and ran through the police station. Dean was climbing into the Impala and I yanked open the door to jump in the passenger seat.

"No Cas, get out."

"You're not going alone."

"I said no Cas."

I snapped out.

"And I'm fucking staying by your side anyways so drive."

He paused for a second before his lips quirked up in a lopsided smile and he revved the engine and peeled out of the parking lot.

~oOo~

Bobby's house which had always looked so welcoming and warm before now looked dead and lifeless, an empty skeleton sagging and empty. I had to scurry after Dean as he silently and efficiently pivoted out of the car and unlocked the front door. He made a beeline upstairs and into Bobby's room before he whisked open the closet to reveal a gun safe. He squatted and spun the dial as if he'd done it countless times before. He jerked the handle and the door slid open silently to reveal a rack of guns and knives.

He grabbed two pistols and checked them before clicking the safety back on and handing one to me. I held the weight in the palm of my hand contemplatively and eyed it for a moment warily before slipping it into my jacket pocket. I was handed a serrated knife a moment later and then Dean was pocketing bullets and the door was shut and I was hurriedly following his retreating form back down the stairs. He paused to grab two flashlights and a small nondescript black box before we were rushing out the door.

"Where are we going Dean?"

The Impala's doors shrieked in protest at are rough handling as the engine roared to life and Dean revved it.

"To the school"

"But they already checked the school twice, I was wrong."

"I don't think you were. You've been so sure and you're right, there should have been video footage, there should have been something."

"Trained FBI agents combed through the building though, what makes you think we'll find him when they didn't?"

"A hunch, do you remember a few weeks ago when Sam was talking about those kids sneaking off to smoke some weed and make out?"

I frowned as Dean ran a red light and a minivan swerved to avoid t-boning us.

"Yeah he was ranting on about the…"

I trailed off as Dean nodded.

"About the basement yeah."

"But they would have checked the basement."

"Of course they did but Sam's a nerd, you know how he is and a couple years ago he wrote this research paper about schools back during the cold war. All the schools around here have shelters to prepare for tornadoes but back in the cold war the government started making everyone paranoid about us getting bombed and radiation poisoning. Companies started selling radiation proof bomb shelters and stuff which was nothing but bullshit but a lot of people bought into it."

"Ok I'm following, are you saying the school had a bomb shelter of some kind?"

"I'm saying it still does, the county never had the money to upkeep all the "radiation shelters" that were built during the Cold War so most of them have caved in or been bricked up. There were a ton of those shelters around here because we had a weapons factory here that started up and closed down in the 90's."

I raised my eyebrows.

"How do you know so much about this?"

"Dad used to work at the factory before he met mom, used to tell me and Sam stories about it all the time."

"Ok, so the school probably has an old closed up bomb shelter, where are we even going to find that dude, you know it's probably cemented up right?"

"Like I said, a hunch, but I think your right Cas."

"Why wouldn't your dad have known about this, why don't any of the adults period know about this. If we've got a hunch shouldn't they have thought about this?"

Dean shrugged as his jaw clenched.

"Honestly Cas I'm just praying I'm right, I don't even know about anything right now."

"Shouldn't we at least call your dad or something? I feel like we're pulling something extremely dumb and irrational right now."

There was a dull silence for a moment and I watched with a sort of unfocused incredulity as Dean swerved around a silver Scion and tires screeched.

"If he's here…no one needs to be here to see what's gona' happen.'

I bit my lip and pressed my elbow against the outline of the gun handle resting against my rib cage as Dean pulled into the Lawrence Middle School parking lot. Dean hopped out of the car and slammed the door, I eased my phone out of my pocket and hastily typed out a quick text message and clicked send before I smoothly stepped out of the Impala and dropped my phone on the floorboard. The screen was still lit up blue and I slammed the door as it blinked out.

I quietly followed Dean to the back of the school and glanced towards the sky. It was probably going on four o'clock.

The back parking lot was old and crummy, pavement busted up and weeds growing up through the cracks. An old chain link fence somehow still managed to stand against the weight of time. We passed a set of double doors to the kitchens and rounded a corner near a set of green giant dumpsters. I warily trailed after Dean as he strode forward purposefully still glinting a singular white light like a beacon. The steps to the basement were concrete and narrow.

The door itself looked like something from a B movie horror flick complete with an unchained rusted padlock. Dean gave a twist of the knob and a pull. Unsurprisingly it didn't budge and he pulled out the black box which appeared to be lock picking equipment. I didn't question it and a few minutes later the door scraped against the buildup of leaves and muck in the depression of the concrete entrance.

The basement wasn't too horrendous. There weren't monstrous cob webs and skeletons lying about. It was extremely damp however and a green slime was growing on the walls and we stepped over puddles and slimy spots often. There was of course electrical units and air ducts and pipes. We slowly combed through ever bit of the cinderblock maze, our flashlight beams bouncing off wet slime and glinting against slow trickles of water from leaky pipes.

It was a large basement that seemed like an infinite maze of pipes and random little cubbies of cinderblock and mortar. I passed by one such room, larger than the others which was filled with old furniture. To one side of the wall ancient dilapidated student desks were stacked up in columns and chairs against the other. Several old filings cabinets guarded the far wall and I narrowed my eyes and scanned my flashlights over the shadows. I brushed by one filing cabinet and paused before rolling back on my heel to take a step backwards. Yes, there it was, a soft barely there draft in the damp dank air.

I clicked my flashlight on and off several times to glint against the pipes outside of the room. Several moments later Dean ducked in silently much like some nocturnal cat with wide glinting green eyes. I motioned to the cabinet and he nodded before balancing his flashlight on a desk. We quietly raised the cabinet and moved it over a couple of feet to reveal a small hole barely large enough for a man to fit through, squarely and cleanly cut through the cinderblock wall.

We both sat squatting on our heels for a moment. I could hear Dean swallow thickly in the silence before we both switched our flashlights off and Dean slid through the hole on his stomach. I watched him disappear into the darkness and ran a reassuring hand down the handle of my pistol tucked neatly against me and took a deep breath before descending into the blackness.

**Woah what? Teenagers being thoughtless spontaneous irrational morons, how bizarre. But seriously I would be in Dean's shoes if I had a younger sibling, but seeing as I'm the baby of my family unfortunately I'd be in Sam's place…bummer :(**

**The whole cold war basement thingy is actually very true and before any of you go arguing that no school's basement would be this decrepit and gross when I was a kid a couple of my friends and I broke into our elementary school's basement while we were on the playground. It was a cold war era school and let me tell you, this basement was a near exact memory of that place; it was a set for a Halloween horror movie.**

**Sorry for another cliffy but it was the perfect spot to end it. Next chapter will have some Sammy torture so warning if any of you have triggers for that sort of thing. Rape isn't even an option so don't worry about that. Brace yourselves for the storm my darlings.**


	15. Blood Red

**Warnings for this chapter: blood, gore, and torture.**

Cas's P.O.V

I knew there were sirens wailing. I knew there had to be red and blue lights flashing and screaming but it was all in the distance. Every few minutes I could focus, could blink against the light and think objectively, to know what was happening. But it was so hard to think straight, my brain couldn't focus, the world was muffled and fuzzy. I slurred out dazedly from behind the mask strapped to my face.

"Deannnnn"

A cool hand pressed gently against my neck.

"Dean is fine Castiel, everything's ok."

I rolled my eyes back to blink slowly at the nurse hovering over me, his image which glowed a bright aqua blue jumped in and out of focus before I slurred again.

"S's ok?"

"Everyone is stable you having nothing to worry about."

I could feel numbness creeping up my limbs and my vision blurred out to nothing as I nodded ever so slightly.

~Two Hours Earlier~

The tunnel Dean and I had begun to crawl though was damp and coated in a thick goopy substance I didn't want to think about. We had to drag ourselves on our elbows with our heads ducked and I could only follow the white light emitting from Dean's form sliding in front of me. My breath was coming out in shallow pants and I was beginning to feel a nauseating panic settle in my stomach from the dark enclosed space, I wasn't normally claustrophobic but this was too much. Luckily after a few feet the darkness lightened ever so slightly and Dean slid out into an open room and I soon followed.

It looked like an old bunker from a World War II movie and foreboding shadows hid most of everything but we didn't dare turn our flashlights on. Dean was cautious and we crept further into the room as quietly as we could but I felt like my harsh panting was an air raid siren in the almost deafening silence. But then I heard a noise that made my heart sink to my shoes and I wished a hundred times over I hadn't heard it. A high keened cry of pain coming from below.

Dean stilled and my pulse quickened to a deep thundering beat inside my chest. Another choked off whimper echoed off the walls and Dean slid to his hands and knees as he began to crawl across the floor. I did the same and slid to Dean's side where he had stopped in the dim gray light. The floor began to decline till there was a square hole no more than 3 feet around, it looked like some sort of drainage tunnel.

I stained my ears and I could hear the soft hiss of a murmur and the reply of a bit off curse. Dean pulled his pistol from his jeans and braced a hand on the edge of the hole. I silently grabbed his shoulder and frowned before whispering against his ear.

"The moment you fall through he'll be on you."

He placed his own hand over mine and gently squeezed before he pressed his chapped lips against my own for a moment. I could only squeeze my eyes shut and my grip on his shoulder tightened, my throat had grown tight and cold fear was settled deep against my spine. Then I blinked and he was gone, slipping like some sort of secret service operative through the hole, one hand gripping the edge and the other wrapped around his pistol.

I couldn't breathe for a moment as I sat in stifled silence. Then there was the muffled thud of Dean's feet hitting the ground and a chuckle.

"Dean…I can honestly say I'm surprised to see you."

"Back away from my brother you son of a Bitch." His voice grated out like stone against steel.

"Tut tut, there's no need to go about wielding toy guns."

He snarled "I said back the fuck away."

I couldn't take it anymore, I gripped the concrete edges with sweat soaked hands and swung down in one clean jump, knees bent and feet braced for the harsh landing. I landed braced on my hands and feet before I rolled and leapt to my feet in one clean move.

The first thing to hit me was the gagging reek of blood, a heady stench of copper and rust so strong it made my stomach roll and bile rise to my throat. There were the underlying hints of ammonia and vomit. I pulled my own gun from my jacket and jerked the safety off and pointed it at the man clutching a serrated knife coated in thick blood so dark it almost gleamed black in the dim lighting.

And oh God his aura was even more terrifying to behold at close encounter. Because I'd seen him before, that man standing in front of the school. He didn't even bare the resemblance of midnight, velvet or obsidian. Those things would insinuate a shine, a gleam of light to reflect and refract but he was as dull as charcoal, there was no shine, no reflection of anything but evil and sadistic hate.

But there was the barest hint of a yellow so electric it almost appeared white, we had surprised him, more than he would ever admit, even to himself. He turned a curious smile, all teeth and crinkled eyes on me.

"And who is this, you didn't tell me you had a friend Dean. Look how bright and blue he is too."

I had to swallow around a suddenly dry and thick tongue.

Dean's knuckles were white blue from his double handed grip on the handle of his gun. I followed his gaze to the shadows behind this…thing and everything in my body froze. Sam's body sat curled into a hunch in a metal chair, hands and feet chained to its legs and back. His head lolled almost limply and his entire frame drooped without life, the chains were the only thing keeping him up. He was breathing, that I could see but oh God…oh God the blood.

There were lacerations striping his arms and chest, a latticework of black gouges running rivulets of congealing blood. He was soaked in it, layers and layers, some dried, some fresh and dripping onto the floor. On the sides of his forearms I could make out muscle and tendon, red raw meat that looked like something you'd buy in a package on the meat isle of the grocery store.

Dried brown blood ran down from his nose and mouth to merge with the oozing raw flesh of his neck. His beautiful bright colors, his sapphires and jades, crimsons and tangelos, they were so dim. They were there which gave me just enough hope, but oh they were so soft, so faint and wispy.

I glanced back to Dean out of the corner of my eye. He still pulsed white hot and I could see he was as pale as Sam, a sickly ash gray and chalk white. I could see his finger tighten on the trigger.

"How do you know you won't hit Sammy behind me, that you won't shoot your precious baby brother Dean?"

His voice was goading and I could feel my grip on the gun growing sweaty and shaky. Dean's eyes narrowed.

"I don't miss."

The next moment was a flash of white stars behind my eyes and a thundering kaboom so loud I could feel my vision blur and everything went silent except for a high static ring. I swayed and then I could feel yellow eyes grab me from behind and the cold sting of his serrated knife digging into my throat. I was still seeing double from the gunshot and as he held my arms wrenched behind me and the itching pain of the blade cutting the skin on my throat I could suddenly feel a throbbing burn across my stomach and chest.

I dazedly glanced down to see dark wet spots blooming across my shirt and jacket. A part of my brain that was still working murmured shrapnel and debris before I was being shook and my head lolled loosely and my legs sagged a bit, I couldn't stand, couldn't keep my balance. Yellow eyes shook me again and I jerked away from the searing pain at my throat. I choked a bit and could feel wet blood oozing down my neck and soaking my shirt and jacket collar.

I strained my head back and tried to stare through my blurred vision and the deaf ringing in my ears to finally see Dean. He stood in front of Sam pointing the gun over my shoulder. He looked green and he was swaying unsteadily, probably suffering from the same ill effects from the gunshot as me. How was yellow eyes holding the both of us up?

The dull ache in my head and the dizzying swirl of everything lessened ever so slightly and I blinked slowly and forced my brain to think. My own knife sat tucked against my ribcage, but yellow eyes held a firm grip on my hands. I forced my muscles to relax and everything to go limp. I could feel him startle against me as I sagged like a sack of potatoes. His grip on my hands disappeared as he wrapped an arm around my waist. I winced as the pressure against my throat increased and that sharp biting pain seared across every nerve ending I had.

I suddenly jerked to the left and swung my leg back to crunch down on his foot as I wrenched my arm around to grab my knife and stumble backwards out of his hold all at once. In the distance I could hear Dean yell and yellow eyes was grabbing my arm. In the movies you don't realize that when you stab a person you aren't stabbing a sack of rice. You're stabbing through skin and muscle and tendon, it's like carving a Thanksgiving Turkey.

I arched my arm around to sink my knife to the hilt into his shoulder. He screamed and my hearing must be slowly coming back because now I could hear Dean tripping over his own feet as he rushed over. But then Yellow Eyes had his stupid serrated knife plunged three inches between two of my ribs. All my breath ripped out of me like untying a balloon and my grip on the knife in his shoulder disappeared because sweet motherfuckin God they don't tell you how much getting stabbed hurts!

Yellow Eyes is a blur and he withdraws the knife from my guts and spins to clunk Dean upside the head with the metal hilt before I can even collect a thought besides the blank open mouthed gasp I know I'm making. Blood gushes from Dean's temple like a spite in a maple tree. He reels back to clutch at the hole in his head and I'm being kicked to the floor. I rolled and wrinkled my nose because I left a giant smear of blood on the dusty floor.

Who knew where the guns were at this point and now instead of a high ringing in my ears all I could hear was the dull pounding of my own pulse. My arm flung back and maybe there was a spark of luck in the world because I could feel the solid handle of the knife I'd plunged in Yellow Eyes still covered in blood. My hand wrapped around it and just as Yellow Eyes placed a booted foot on my sternum with a triumphant sneer on his face I yanked him down by the pant leg and then we were a rolling tumble across the floor.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Dean had found his gun but there was nothing he could do when there were limbs flailing and you could hardly tell one of us from the other. I pulled a wrestling move I'd perfected on Gabe through the years, wrapped one leg around his waist and twisted so that I was shoving the bastard's face in the dirt and without pausing a second to let myself think I shoved my knife into his open outstretched neck in-between the base of his ear and the straining tendon.

Coppery crimson blood splattered across my face and his entire body went limp as if someone had flipped a switch. That horrible, sickly charcoal black dissipated into nothing and I slid off of his body to collapse and spew the bile from my stomach across the floor.

Then Dean wrapped his arm around my waist and dragged me to my feet. His eyes were wild and glazed and my own vision was swimming too much to even begin to make out the mass of color swirling around him.

"Cas man your bleeding everywhere, we gotta get you and Sam outta' here."

I wanted to point out that he had blood gushing out of his forehead like a geyser but my brain had turned into tapioca pudding from the gunshot and I was having issues standing. We limped over to Sam who still looked unconscious. The chains weren't padlocked, just wrapped around and around before being tied in the back. Dean worked on carefully pulling the braided metal off of Sam's skin while I gently cupped his chin and lifted his bruised and bloody face to slur out.

"Sam, Sammy you gotta' wake up, Dean and I are here."

His bruised eyes fluttered and his head flopped back ever so slightly. He groaned out.

"Deannnn"

"I'm here Sammy, I'm here."

Sam swallowed thickly and a couple tears cut through the gore to leave clear trails down his cheeks. We both slung one of his arms over our shoulders as we drug him over to the hole in the ceiling. I was wheezing now and I more leaned on Sam then carried him. It felt like someone had sat a weight on my chest, I couldn't breathe right and I was starting to gasp and gulp. Thick blood was still oozing down my neck and I clutched a hand over the knife wound in my ribs. I could feel that blood was beginning to soak down my pant leg from the various debris wounds and the hole in my side.

They never cover it in movies, and books like to ghost over it too, just how much it fuckin hurts. Because at that moment I just wanted to lie on that blood encrusted floor and die, just give up and flop down for the police to find me later. Everything burned and throbbed with a pulsating agony that's hard to describe, I couldn't imagine how Sam was faring.

My vision was going sketchy and I knew Dean was shaking me and telling me something so I nodded even though I couldn't really understand what he'd just told me. Then he was helping lift me up into the hole, I scrambled at the edges and drug myself out even as I felt like my guts were going to lay smeared behind me. I could feel Dean shoving my feet up and I managed to scramble onto solid ground and lay heaving and shuddering for a minute before Dean was calling my name worriedly.

"Cas talk to me, Cas how are you doing?"

I laughed even though it burned like fire and poked my head back down in the hole.

"Don't be too freaked out if half my entrails our lying on the ground when you get up here."

The sheer blind panic that flashed across his face made my heart clench, not a good moment for joking.

"I'm alright Dean; hear help hoist Sam up to me."

If all three of us hadn't been leaking our guts and blood like sieves I'm sure what ensued would have been funny, Dean clutching a mostly unconscious Sam under the arms as he struggled to hoist him up while I reached down and pulled him up by his arms. The pulling and agonizing pressure was tearing my wounds open even further and I could feel fresh hot blood seeping down my side. I was gasping and wheezing as if I'd had the air knocked out of my lungs while I finally managed to drag Sam fully onto the floor.

I ignored the pain and reached down one last time through the hole for Dean. He shook his head.

"No just go on without me, go call 911, someone will come get me later."

"I'm not leaving you down here, besides I can't carry Sam by myself."

That seemed to convince him and he took a step back.

"This is gona' hurt you Cas."

I shot him a wry look and strained my arm down as far as it could go.

"Just jump Dean, I'll catch you."

He nodded and took a flying leap. I somehow managed to catch his arm and a scream ripped itself out of my throat as my stomach and chest burned. He whirled his hand up to grab my shoulder and I reached down with my other arm and latched a firm grip on his bicep. I groaned and cussed until he could grab the edges and pull himself up before throwing himself limply on the ground beside me.

I trembled and chocked on shuddering gasps of air and then I couldn't stop coughing because I could feel blood clogging up my throat and bubbling into my mouth to dribble over my lips and chin. I gagged up mouthfuls of blood for a minute and spit on the ground. Dean clutched my side with an iron grip and murmured over and over again.

"Oh God, Oh God, Cas c'mon I gotta' get you out of here, Oh God Cas."

My vision was going dark around the edges, from lack of oxygen or blood I didn't know. I finally managed to stop hacking up one of my lungs for a minute so that we could begin to crawl through the bunker and drag ourselves through the tunnel and into the actual basement. I had to stop every few feet and wheeze and gasp while clutching at my ribs and neck because even in my half delirious state I knew if I lost any more blood I'd be fucked. Dean drug a still mostly unconscious Sam with him, though he would occasionally murmur or jerk his head.

I managed to get in the room piled high with desks and tables before I collapsed onto my back and gazed at Dean with blurred vision.

"Dean go get help, I can't…I can't go on."

He was swirling deep stone gray, navy blue, and a sick green color as he peeled my blood soaked shirt away from my stomach to inspect my knife wound.

"Fuckin Christ"

I gave a lopsided grin.

"I'll admit…not exactly what I wanted to hear the first time…you started taking my clothes off."

He snorted and shucked his jacket off to wad up and shove up against my ribs.

"Look after Sam for me, I'll be back as soon as I can ok."

I gazed up to see his corpse white face dripping blood onto my own forehead. His beautiful green eyes were dilated, wide and glassy. I feebly grabbed his arm as he made to stand.

"Dean I…"

He crouched back down beside me.

"Yeah Cas"

I could feel my eyes droop from exhaustion and blood loss.

"I just…I'll tell you when we get to the hospital."

He smiled my favorite lopsided grin before he kissed my bloody forehead and slid over to check over Sam and murmur worriedly before flicking on my flashlight for me and retreating with his own. A couple minutes passed and I could feel the entire world spinning in the silence before Sam coughed out.

"Ca…Cas?"

"I'm here Sam."

"Did you…didj'a kill him?"

"Yeah, I killed him."

"Good"

A time later two pairs of footsteps came running and I could hear Dean as he fell to the floor in-between Sam and I.

"Sammy, Cas, you both still with me?'

We both hmmed and then I could hear my dad's voice and my eyes flew open.

"Oh Castiel, you better have killed the son of a Bitch."

I squinted at his shadowed form and smiled.

"I got him alright."

He scooped me up and Dean did the same with Sam as they began carefully stepping through the wet and slimy basement.

I was ebbing in and out of consciousness through the cinderblock maze when sirens began to wail in the distance. I finally managed to peel open my eyes as we emerged into the cold evening air. Ambulances and squad cars came tearing into the school parking lot. I could make out John leaping out of the sheriff's car and running towards Dean and Sam.

I was having trouble focusing again as dad began laying me on a stretcher. Hands were flying over me, picking and prodding, then oh thank God someone was putting a breathing mask on me and it was just a little easier to gasp in a lungful of air. I could feel an IV going in and my shirt was being cut off while pressure was being put on my chest, abdomen and neck.

Dad gripped my hand viciously and I blinked owlishly from behind my mask and smiled.

"I'm…glad…you got…my text…"

His eyes welled up as my stretcher was loaded into the ambulance and my vision blurred from my own unshed tears.

**Soooo….(hides behind something substantial) ermmm…I'm sorry? I know I know, worst place to end this chapter and I really was going to continue it a page or so more and not leave you hanging but I really did need it to end here. Next chapter is Dean's P.O.V.**

**I think I've done the most research for this chapter. For those of you who were a little incredulous from Cas and the others going deaf from the gunshot, you have clearly never heard a gunshot in real life. My brother owns a military issue pistol and he let me shoot it once…movies don't quite cover it. You take the normal deafening levels and you put that in a concrete room underground, yes they are going to be dizzy, disorientated, the inner ear is going to be all kinds of fucked up so balance and coordination are gone. It gives the same effects of a minor concussion.**

**To give your weary little hearts some ease I'm gona list the injuries.**

**Dean has a concussion, inner ear damage, shrapnel wounds and a giant fucking gash on the forehead and blood loss.**

**Sam has muscle, tissue and severe skin damage, severe blood loss, dehydration, inner ear damage, broken ribs and slight brain hemorrhaging (cerebral aneurysm) **

**Cas of course has inner ear damage, a partially slit throat, shrapnel wounds, a punctured lung, and severe blood loss**

**My playlist for this chapter was What a Shame by Shinedown, Demons by Imagine Dragons, Better than I know myself by Adam Lambert, Bleed it Out by Linkin Park and lots of Metallica ;)**


	16. Diamond Clear

**Dean's P.O.V**

The entire world was throbbing and pulsing. I was dimly aware that a nurse was trying to hold me down to the stupid hospital bed as some friggin' doctor tried to stitch my head like a pillow. I kept repeating over and over but I couldn't get anyone to answer me. I finally kicked the nurse and snarled.

"I asked a Godamn question, how are Sam and Cas?"

The nurse huffed and made to grab one of my legs again but the doctor shooed him back to give me a surprisingly patient look.

"I understand you're worried about your brother and friend but I need to stitch this cut or you're going to lose even more blood. I'm just shy of giving you a transfusion as it is. I promise the moment I'm done I'll go find out about Sam and Cas but for the moment hold still or I'll have to sedate you."

I glared the guy down for a moment before nodding and going limp while I glared daggers at the nurse. They'd given me meads but my head throbbed with my pulse and there was something fucked up with my ears because I could hear the doctor but it sounded like I was listening through cotton. A high buzzing filled my head and I stared at the ceiling in a dazed state until the doctor came back.

He sat on the edge of my bed and I sat up slowly, the room spinning as I did.

"How are they doc?"

"They're both stable. They're giving Sam transfusions now from his blood loss. We ran some CT scans and Sam has experienced a small brain aneurysm."

I felt my heart plummet to my feet and my blood freeze in horror. He shook his head at my horrified look.

"Nothing has ruptured, but there is a small clot in an artery, considering the situation Doctor Milton our neurologist and I agree that the most probable cause was from the high amounts of stress Sam has experienced from his abduction, which caused the walls of the artery to weaken and high blood pressure."

"Your gona' operate on him right? Why isn't he in surgery?"

"Right now Sam is more unstable from the blood loss and trauma, we're keeping a close eye on his vitals and the moment he's stable enough Doctor Milton will perform surgery on him. He's going to run a coil, a metal tube through his arteries to staunch the aneurysm, this form of the surgery is more dangerous but we can't risk the trauma of actually opening the skull."

I felt the blood drain from my face and my stomach rolled, I nearly hurled all over the doctor.

"What are his chances of living?"

"Very high Dean, Sam is extremely young and Doctor Milton is an excellent surgeon, don't worry. He'll take some time to recover but Doctor Milton and I both agree he's going to be fine and he'll back to 100% within a few months."

I closed my eyes, swallowed thickly and nodded slowly.

"Ok, ok…what about Cas?"

"They're giving Castiel transfusions now as well from blood loss. He's got quite a few stitches and his lung is punctured but that should heal on its own, right now he doesn't require surgery."

I relaxed a little, only Sam, oh God Sam.

The doctor gave me a stern look.

"Now for you, you're not going to be doing anything strenuous for a while. We don't want you reopening your stitches, especially with a nasty head wound like that and you have a lovely concussion to go with it. When they brought you in your ears were bleeding so we did tests and both of your eardrums are busted. Actually all of your eardrums are busted. Normally we wouldn't do anything but I'm going to prescribe you all with antibiotics to keep infection off since your bodies will be fighting off a horde of other things."

I nodded a bit dumbly as he scanned over my files.

"So I'm going to prescribe you with some nice pain meds and antibiotics and you'll be all set. But I'm going to keep you hear overnight to keep an eye on your head and I know you'll be wanting to keep an eye on Sam and Castiel."

"Thanks Doc"

He gave me a small smile and stood.

"A nurse will check in on your IV in a little bit and if your levels have gone up we'll unhook you and you can go check on your brother and Castiel."

~oOo~

It was around 3am, fuck, I rubbed a hand tiredly over my face. I glanced out the window to watch an older man wander about aimlessly in the park below before I turned my gaze back on Cas's still form. He was deathly pale, the kind that in the movies meant you were dead. His lips were tinged blue; the Doc said it was from low oxygen levels from the punctured lung.

One of those horrible pronged oxygen tubes was jammed up his nose. He looked chalky, almost like someone had tried to give him a really bad make-up job because there were deep purple black bruises around his eyes, they looked fake.

Against his pallid skin on his throat was the gash across his throat stitched shut with black thread and gleaming plum and red in the shadowed light, that looked fake too. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was an extra from a B-movie horror flick with a moron for a makeup artist.

But it was real and the fact that he looked so extreme made bile sting the back of my throat. The machine against the far wall beeped a steady rhythm against the two part whoosh and gust of the ventilator. The fluid in his IV drip was a pale yellow, nurse said something about something to help his immune system to help fight off infection from the transfusions.

I scrubbed a hand over my eyes and winced as I tugged at my stitches. God how things had gone to shit so fast, first Bobby, now Sam and Cas. I couldn't take this, not all three of them, not all of them like this. I felt like shit, especially with the concussion but I couldn't just sit in my room alone. They were prepping Sam for surgery, it would take hours and even then he wouldn't be out of the woods till he woke up.

Dad should have been there but the entire FBI team had to deal with Yellow Eyes and the crime scene. He'd come to the hospital initially with us but he'd gotten a call from the head of the FBI that had him tied up with the case. He'd be able to come by the hospital before Sam's surgery would be through.

The beeping on the machine increased slightly and I focused on the bed to see Cas's eyes flutter open. I sat up and drug the stupid plastic chair over to his bedside.

"De..an" He croaked out softly.

My chest felt like someone had dropped an anvil on it.

"Hey Cas"

He wet his lips and blinked his eyes slowly.

"Sam?"

"They're prepping him for surgery, Doc says he had a small brain aneurysm so they gotta' fix it."

His brow furrowed and he whispered.

"Gona be ok?"

I had to swallow to fight back tears.

"Yeah he's gona' be fine."

"My parents?"

I rubbed the back of his hand soothingly, keeping mind to avoid the IV.

"They've been here all night with Gabe. I sent them down a little bit ago to get something to eat."

He smiled slightly and the moonlight filtered in through the window to cast his pale face in light. Even blanched and bruised with a breathing tube crammed up his nose he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. My throat grew tight and I swallowed as my vision wavered behind tears. I tried my damn hardest but a few traitorous drops pooled over my lashes to stream down my face. I held Cas's hand gingerly against my cheek and let my shoulders shake as I closed my eyes and sobbed silently.

Cas murmured.

"Oh Dean…"

"Thank you…God thank you Cas for killing him."

I paused to kiss his fingers delicately.

"Thank you…if I had killed him…it wouldn't have been justice or protecting Sammy…if I'd killed him it would've been murder Cas. I wanted to kill him so bad…I…I wanted to watch the life drain out of him."

I glanced up through more unshed tears with humiliation and guilt to see Cas's eyes gleaming with love as he murmured out quietly.

"Even if you'd succeeded your soul would have shown so bright and beautiful."

I sobbed into his palm as something inside of me broke.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry you got hurt. I shouldn't have let you come. God I almost got you killed."

His fingers twitched and he cupped my cheek weakly.

"I'd never let you do it alone…never."

There aren't words to describe so much pain, so much inner turmoil and hatred. But I'd let them down, let them all down and I hated myself because of that more than anything.

"Dean"

I squeezed my eyes shut tight for a moment before I gazed up to see glistening diamond tears pearling at the corners of his beautiful sapphire eyes.

"Don't do that…don't hate yourself."

"It's my default mode, I can't help it."

My joking tone fell flat as Cas's face twisted up into an anguished expression.

"I love you Dean…if I can't hate anything about you, what do you have to hate?"

The entire world narrowed down to that room, to one pinpoint and all of time and space stopped to freeze on one rushing heartbeat. I blinked in wonder for a moment.

"Wh…what"

Cas slowly raised his other arm to cup my face with both open palms and whisper.

"I love you ok"

I gazed at him with wide eyes and whispered back.

"Ok"

His arms lowered back to the bed and he smiled gently.

"Go to Sammy Dean, I'll be fine."

"Aren't you supposed to ask if I love you too?"

Even exhausted and hooked up to machines in a hospital bed he managed to crack a mischievous grin.

"I can see all of humanities souls and desires and you think I can't see you lit up like a firework display right now?"

I snorted a laugh just as his parents and Gabe walked through the door. I tried to sneak out quietly to give them space but Cas's dad squeezed my shoulder and gave me a firm nod. I'm not sure what all that nod was supposed to convey, I'm not really sure what it meant at all, but I nodded back and slunk out the door.

I'd be able to rest easy when Sam came out of the surgery. Under normal circumstances Cas's revelation would have had me ecstatic beyond words, screaming and bouncing off the walls, maybe kissing him senseless and dying from sheer euphoric joy. But after a week like I'd had, of so much awfulness and horrid memories I'd love to forget it gave me just enough hope, just enough internal strength to reassure myself that maybe I could go on and get through this.

~oOo~

I sat in the waiting room, the sky was growing a dusky pink outside that was the only way I had a clue what time it was. A set of heavy footsteps approached and I wearily raised my head to see my dad's haggard form sag into the chair beside me.

"Any news yet?"

"No, he's still in surgery."

He nodded and let his head sag against the wall.

"His name was Azazel."

"What?"

"Yellow eyes, we've been going through journals he had in the bomb shelter. He kept referring to himself as Azazel, or Alistair, he varied it a bit."

"Azazel" I tested the word out unsurely and frowned.

"What else have you found out?"

"Good news, thank God, he had some funky foreign plants listed and Tran ran them through to combine as an ancient Chinese toxin. The doctors are running tests and they should have a cure for Bobby within the next 24 hours."

I thunked my head against the wall and let out a deep breath I hadn't been aware I'd been holding.

"And I hate to ask you this, but you'll have to eventually make a statement son about what whent down in there, Cas and Sam too."

"I know…no charges are going to be filed against Cas right, for stabbing him."

"Not even a remote possibility, it was self defense and no court in their right mind could argue against that."

We sat quietly for a time before I received a slightly constipated look.

"What?"

"You love him don't you?"

"Awww dad can we not!"

He looked embarrassed to even be bringing this up but resolute.

"Well it's a little hard to ignore….he's a good kid."

I awkwardly scuffed the floor with my shoe and stared intently at my laces.

"He's more than good, way too good for me that's for sure."

"Then hold on tight and don't let go for hell. Your mother was a million too good for me in ways I can't even express and I knew that but I wasn't about to let some other creep have her."

I couldn't help but give a cockeyed grin and he elbowed me gently.

"I don't expect you to spill your guts to me. I haven't been around in years and I don't know why I expected you to still be a kid when I got back but…you're not. You became a man way younger than any kid should and I'm…I'm sorry I haven't been the father you should have had. But what I'm saying is if you do need to talk about anything…or hell get drunk and forget…don't be afraid to call me."

I continued to scuff the floor without looking up.

"Ya know Sam asked me a while back why none of us ever talk about mom. I kind of bullshitted my way through the conversation but the fact is I hardly remember anything about her…why don't you ever talk about her?"

An aching sadness swept over his eyes for a moment as he gazed at the rising sun outside the waiting room window.

"It's like picking at an old wound most of the time; it hurts to remember the good almost as much as the bad.

Ya' know I think I have an old video camera in a box somewhere with a couple home movies. After…after Sam stabilizes I'm gona' go back to DC and pack up…I think it's time I came home…but I'll try…and find the videos for you and Sam"

"Thanks…for coming back for Sam."

He cast me a sorrowful look.

"You are every bit as important as Sam. I came back as much for you as I did him, don't ever believe any different. I know I'm late in the proper father role for you, hell I don't even know what or where you're going to college for; what you want to be after, but I'm here for you as well as Sam…even if you don't need me."

In the distance I could hear some nurses talking down the hall. The waiting room doors whisked open as a bleary eyed visitor came in.

"UK"

"What?"

"I want to go to University of Kansas, the main campus is here in Lawrence so I can keep an eye on Sam and live at home for my first four years."

"Wha..what are you going for?"

"Engineering, I'm going to specialize in automotive…I hope to someday…design my own car."

"I had no idea you were even wanting to…to get a degree like that."

I gave a wry smile.

"As opposed to three years ago when I didn't want to go to college."

"I just…I'm so very very proud of you."

I had to swallow several times and stare at the ceiling, Jesus no chick flick moments!

"Where is Castiel wanting to go?"

"I don't have any idea. I don't think he knows what he wants to go for."

"How permanent is this boy gona' be?"

"Permanent" I answered firmly as Doctor Milton came striding through the doors. We both sprang to our feet and he approached with a smile. Doctors smiling was a good thing wasn't it, smiling was good?

"John Winchester, Dean, I am very glad to report Sam pulled through the surgery with flying colors. He did amazing and his vitals are leveling to be completely normal. Under normal circumstances we're not 100% sure till after the patients wake but I am fairly certain with Sam's positive reactions and age he's on a swift road to recovery."

I swayed a little and if there was a God I maybe sent a silent prayer of everlasting thanks, thank you for letting my baby brother live.

**I swear all the medical information should be accurate! Thank you medical dictionary online 3**

**Also University of Kansas's main campus is totally in Lawrence, how convenient guys! I checked and they have a big engineering major and they have a big major in the area Cas is going to pursue that I won't tell you yet ;)**

**I promise there will be sex soon! I swear, there should be some within the next 2 to 3 chapters. Guys I'm getting sad and nostalgic because this story doesn't have too much left! There probably won't be more than five more chapters before something like 3 epilogue chapters! Seven chapters isn't very long for me!:O**

**So tell me what you guys think!Review my lovelies, what did you think of the confessing love scene! I really want some amazing awesome artist to draw Dean crying by Cas's bedside, really really bad. I just had this perfect mental image of the scene with blue moonlight and *sniffles* I just had the perfect mental image for that scene. **


	17. Pine Green

Cas's P.O.V

Let me tell you movies sure as hell gloss over the recovery process after the epic fight scene and the hero gets shot. There's always the obligated scene in the hospital room with an IV and the protagonist looking bruised and ruffled and then flash-forward to six months later when they're clean and whole. That six month period is never shown because sometimes I felt like getting stabbed again might be easier than going through the hell I was.

Physical therapy to help a punctured lung isn't fun and stitches on your throat are a bitch. But I shouldn't be complaining really, poor Sam was the one really having a time of it. He had therapy several times a week to slowly build his strength bit by bit.

Another lovely aspect of recovery most people forget is that missing school is nice but Jesus does the makeup work pile up. It wasn't as bad for Dean and I, as seniors we had very few hard classes, comp was the only thing to really be worried about. Poor Sam as an eighth grader had a mountain of requirements piling higher and higher.

But maybe I should rewind a little to right after the whole ordeal while we were all still in the hospital to catch everyone up.

The day after Sam's surgery the doctors finally came up with a cure to bring Bobby to the world of the conscious. The poison had worked as a neural pathogen forcing his central nervous system to start shutting down. As a form of last minute protection his body had gone into a deep stasis but not before some neural damage had already been done. The doctors assured everyone the effects wouldn't be permanent, Bobby would be in a wheelchair for a while and he'd be going through extensive therapy with the rest of us but he was alive and grumbling like his old self.

A couple days into my hospital stay Jo, Ash, Chuck and Balthazar came to visit the others and myself. They were all swirling with worry, relief, and Jo was pulsing faintly with guilt though why I couldn't say.

Ash leaned down to inspect the gross looking stitched running across my throat.

"Dude you look like Frankenstein."

Jo smacked him and I laughed.

"It's true, I'm gona' have one hell of a scar."

Balthazar handed me the Lawrence Post with a grin.

"You guys made the front page; you're the hero of the hour."

Sure enough the front page had Dean, Sam, and my face plastered across it with snapshots of the Lawrence Middle School basement and John and his team. The bold headline splashed across the page reading:

**Notorious Serial Killer Vanquished!**

Underneath was a pulled quote full of exclamation marks.

**The Winchester Brothers have finally reached closure as the serial killer known as yellow eyes has finally reached his end after Samuel Winchester was once again kidnapped! Dean Winchester and a family friend, Castiel Novak, avenged the late Mary Winchester!**

I arched an eyebrow and read through the coverage of the story.

"Damn, they make it sound like an action movie…I call dibs for Liam Neeson to play me."

Jo sniggered.

"Dean will want the dude from Dr. Sexy to play him."

Surprisingly I received a lot of visitors, kids from school I didn't know, I almost fell out of my bed when Mr. Crowley dropped by to mutter awkward sympathies and hand me a stack of makeup work. Reporters were constantly being shooed away by my Doctor and nurses. For some reason I was their new little puppy to coo over and take care of.

My parents hovered a lot, Gabe hovered less considering he couldn't miss a ton of classes once Thanksgiving was over and fall break ended. Which was one small mercy, when we were alone together he did nothing but leer comments about Dean and I having kinky hospital sex and flip through channels on the TV a billion miles an hour.

Dean wasn't around as much which was understandable. He was juggling hovering over Sam, Bobby and I while his Doctor ran after him berating him about taking care of himself. But there were small miraculous stolen moments when we managed to shoo away our families and medical staff.

It was one such small stolen moment near midnight two day into my hospital stay. I was told I could leave a day or so later, the doctors had kept me as long as they did to keep an eye on me to make sure infection didn't set into my multiple wounds. I had finally managed to boot both parents and Gabe home for sleep. Dean quietly slunk into my room with a soft eyed grin and glowing so bright he lit up the entire room.

His stitches really did look horrible, he was pale and exhausted and I know I looked a hundred times worse but he crawled into the bed with me. Our "make-out" session if that's what you could even call it was soft and delicate. I think we were both more the type for a heated groping session against a wall but having to explain to our doctors just why our stitches were torn…wasn't gona' happen.

So I contented myself with slow heated wet kisses. I's suck and curl my tongue and he's gently bight and Jesus the things his tongue could do. We'd pull apart with red swollen lips glistening with saliva and my tongue numb from just lying there and perfecting the art of French kissing.

That particular night we kissed a while before Dean wrapped a feather light arm around my hips and we just laid a while chattering quietly. I was exhausted and more in the mood for lighthearted banter but Dean seemed to have something serious nagging at him. He murmured and warm breath ghosted across my neck and shoulder.

"Cas what are we gona' do after graduation?"

I frowned and stared at the ceiling.

"I haven't had time to think about that."

"Well it's just fall and a lot of the college applications will be due soon. I'm putting my application in at UK."

"Hmmm, for their engineering program?'

He hmmed in agreement before nudging my shoulder.

"Have you decided if you have a clue what you want to do?"

"Actually…yeah I think I do."

"Well, you gona tell me or do I have to guess?"

"Well I've been playing with the idea of medical for a while and I want to work with on the scene emergency response."

"Wow, you'd think after this you'd want to get as far away from that as possible."

"I know but those guys made a difference and…I dunno it's stuck. I can always change my mind if I want but for now that's what I've settled on. UK has a big medical program and I mentioned it to Gabe and he says they have a major exactly what I'm looking for."

"Hey I ain't complaining. This mean we're gona' go to college together"

He kept his voice a bit neutral but he always forgot I could read him anyways. He was a swirling mass of nerves and apprehension. I bent my head and kissed his temple at the hairline.

"Well duh…I feel like the stereotyped teenagers you know?"

"Yeah kind of, the whole hopeful we are so going to make it through college and the rest of our lives together and that my teenage boyfriend is my soul mate. Heck I'd laugh my ass off if some other kid from school said that. Maybe give em' a pat on the shoulder and a sure dude."

We giggled for a bit until my nurse came in and shooed Dean away with a grin and glowed a happy pink and yellow.

~oOo~

A week later I was out of the hospital and back in school. Dean and I had both put in our applications online at UK and a few other local colleges with both of our majors just in case.

Dean was back in school also albeit unwillingly since he was still hovering around Sam like a mother hen. Sam finally broke long after I would have predicted and told him to scram or he'd get someone to tie him up. Bobby was well on his way to recovery and they both assured him they'd be perfectly fine for a few hours without his freakin' smothering. Their words not mine.

The day was going by slow and exhausting. A million faces I didn't know were cooing and simpering and asking a trillion questions. People I swear I'd never seen before in my life swirling the rainbow were in my face voicing their worry, congratulations and excitement.

My last period was thankfully over and I was trying to sneak out to Dean's Impala so I could just go home. Chuck called down the hall.

"Hey Cas wait up a second!"

I wasn't walking very fast in the first place, I was still hobbling about but I slowed some more till he caught up through the throng and gave me an excited smile.

"I want to give ya' something."

He handed me a glossy paged comic book professionally printed. The front cover had the word Supernatural slung across it in typical comic book style. Underneath in smaller print: Book 5 Lazarus Rising

Underneath that was Chuck's patented art style. Dean stood with his arms crossed holding a gun in both hands with a fierce look on his face. I stood beside him, or rather the angel version of me did. I wore the trench coat Chuck had for some reason always drawn me in and I gripped Dean's shoulder in an iron grip. From under my clenched hand on his arm glowed a blue white light and I had narrowed eyebrows and a downright kickass look on my face.

"I…I scratched book five and completely redid it. New storyline…art…it's based off what happened to you guys. My publishers nearly shit themselves over it but I wanted your guy's permission beforehand. I know its personal…but the story inspired me. I gave Dean a couple copies for him and Sam, just tell me what you think."

I grinned and gave him a gentle sideways hug.

"I don't even have to read it. I'm not sure what Dean and Sam will say but I'm fine with whatever."

He grinned and scurried off while I ambled to the Impala, flipping through the comic book.

So in the new version Dean went to Hell to save Sam. I met the Winchesters not through fighting demons but…pulling Dean from Hell. Chuck's art was even better than normal and Dean's blood splattered, anguished face twisted a little close to home. I kept flipping until I reached the climax. The picture made my pulse increase a little…damn.

It took up both pages and there were no words.

My angel self was arching down in one of the contorted positions you often saw angelic figures on church ceilings in. My wings were black and splayed out, reflecting the golden red light of the flames licking at the bottom of the page. My eyes glowed almost white with a faint blue tinge and my mouth was grit in a firm line.

I gripped Dean by the shoulder and his hand feebly clutched at my bicep, our arms holding each other to form a linked bond of strength. He was bloodied and bruised and he gazed up with an anguished yet awed face. The darkness and fires of hell almost seemed abated by the light radiating off the both of us, but Dean especially.

I didn't realize I was just leaning against the car and gaping until Dean came up behind me to rest his chin on my shoulder.

"That Chuck's comic, whatcha lookin…"

He trailed off as his eyes landed on the picture and stared for a minute.

"Damn"

I nodded in agreement.

"He got…he got the positions exactly, when I pulled you from the basement."

"We sure the dude isn't really a prophet?'

"Well I'm psychic, who says he isn't."

"Don't, that thought sends shivers down my spine."

I flipped through the rest of the comic and laughed at the burned scar of a handprint on Dean's shoulder from my angel self's hold. Strangely enough Dean didn't laugh as much as I thought but eyed the picture curiously.

I flipped some more and laughed at my angel self's monologue about Dean's soul being the brightest of mankind.

"What's so funny?"

"Direct quote, either Jo runs her mouth or he really is psychic."

Dean read the quote and a strange swirl of color and emotion flitted through his aura and eyes.

"You seriously said that?"

"Every time I've gone off about how beautiful and bright your aura is, has that just gone in one ear and dribbled out the other?"

"Well, I just never took it seriously, chalked it up to exaggerations and teasing."

I rolled my eyes and climbed in the Impala. He scrambled into the driver's seat and glared at me as I laughed at him.

"I'm serious!"

I hugged his arm and hmmed while still chuckling.

"I love you"

"Love you too jerk"

~oOo~

So yeah recovery was a bitch but we all lived so there was that. Time flew by till before I knew it Christmas was on us. Dean and I somehow managed to pull our families together for a collaborated celebration at my house. My mom had gone all out on the decorations. There was greenery and lights strung across every flat and not so flat surface in the house. My dad had chopped down a fresh Christmas tree that nearly scraped our ceiling.

Sam and Dean had had a blast decorating it with Gabe and I. They'd never had much of a tree and my mom had years of horded decorations. Gabe hovered around Sam in a protective manner that made Dean glow light a candle with ooey gooey feelings he'd never admit having pertain to Gabe.

I also taught Dean how to make an apple pie though we made a hell of mess more than usual. I think my mom snapped a picture of us kissing covered in flour. Jesus Gabe would never let that go but I think Dean had a kink for gooey apple pie filling. I couldn't be held accountable for my actions when he was leering at me under heavy lids while silky wisps of wine red caressed around his skin.

John was finally back in Lawrence for good. Things were still awkward but Dean mentioned that they'd talked. A little reconciliation was better than nothing I suppose.

The giant family photo for that Christmas was horrible beyond words. Sam, Dean, and I were all pale and chalky still from recovery. We were all littered with fresh shiny scars that stood out like beacons in the picture. Dean had the faint line slashing diagonally up his forehead and I still looked like Frankenstein with a deep red line slanting across my throat.

Sam was still on crutches and Bobby was in a wheelchair. Gabe looked half stoned since he crossed his eyes the moment the camera flashed.

But memories are memories. You can look at the picture and see that Dean and I have an arm thrown around each other's shoulders. Gabe though mentally deranged looking is bolstering Sam up on him a little with a firm brotherly hand holding his arm.

My mom and dad look perfect and poised except for where my mom has a mischievous arm keeping John firmly planted beside her with no means of escape and a wide eyed look on his face.

Jo and Ellen dropped by later after dinner. They'd gone to Mississippi for Christmas Eve to visit relatives.

The exchanging of gifts was usually chaos with Gabe but he seemed to be on his best behavior that night. The gift exchange was mostly for us kids though our parents exchanged gift cards and alcohol on Bobby's part.

I got Sam several geeky TV shows like I'd planned what felt like forever ago. Dean got him a box of hardback books, an introduction to Vonnegut that he seemed thrilled over and the Game of Thrones series.

I wisely chose to keep my mouth shut and not voice in front of our parents how incredibly inappropriate for an eighth grader those books were but simply gave Dean a narrow eyed look. He ignored it of course.

Gabe surprisingly did well and chose an assortment of surprisingly decent rated x-box games for him. From my parents he received book store gift cards and Bobby grumpily handed over the same. John had gotten him the first seasons of Suits, a lawyer show that Sam nearly peed himself over when he unwrapped them.

Gabe received clothes and gift cards from the adults. Sam and Dean had gone in to get him an incredibly nice psychology book that he seemed interested in, it was apparently some famous New York Times bestseller I'd never heard of. I got him a Clint Eastwood movie collection and one of those monsters sized Hershey bars that ways half as much as I do.

Dean got gift cards and clothes from my parents, I think we all did really so no surprise there. John got him a really really nice hunting knife that even I knew was a nice brand. Dean's eyes got particularly wide at that. Gabe got him a box of Playboy magazines for a gag gift before he revealed an encyclopedia on vintage hot rod cars. Sam got him a stack of old vinyl, Rolling Stones, Styx, Aerosmith and a few other classic bands.

My box to him was a fourth the size of a shoebox and weighed nothing. He jiggled it with a puzzled expression before I nudged him to just open the damn thing. When he did his eyeballs about popped out of his head and he launched himself at me for a tackling hug. I laughed as he squeezed me until my ribs protested and my parents craned their necks to see what was in the box.

Dean whipped the two sheets of paper out and waved them wildly in the air with an ecstatic look on his face. Bobby scrunched up his eyes.

"Well we can't read the damn thing when you're waving it around like that!"

"ACDC concert tickets!"

It took a while for Dean to calm down enough so that I could open my gifts though when I did he still had an arm latched around my waist.

From the adults…wait for it, gift cards and clothes. From Sam a couple geeky t-shirts. Gabe had actually listened to my hours of ranting and gotten me the original series of Star trek. I opened Dean's gift to reveal a book on auras. I snorted and giggled as he gave me a mischievous look and whispered he'd give me my real gift later. We received raised eyebrows and strange looks but the moment passed and my mom brought out the pie.

Later that night while everyone drank eggnog and wailed off tuned Christmas carols Dean plopped down at the top of the stairs with me.

"Is there a reason we are sitting on the floor in our hallway and not in my room?"

"It's where we first kissed."

I gave him an incredulous look and he returned it with his own agitated glance.

"Shut up and just open your present dip wad."

"Jesus you're so bossy."

He stuck his tongue out as I unwrapped the small gift to reveal a ring sized jewelry box.

"I swear to God if this is a ring I'm going to pee on myself."

He gave me an offended look.

"We're eighteen and going into college of course it's not a ring numb nuts, freak."

I grinned and opened the box to reveal a bronze amulet on a leather cord just like the one Dean wore in the comics.

"Chuck always draws me wearing it because I used to live in it. Sam gave it to me and told me to wear it as a promise that everything would get better, to remember the Christmas he gave it to me. I stopped wearing it when I felt like life went to shit a year before you showed up. I want you to wear it as a promise too."

I lifted it out of the box and rubbed my thumb along the ridges of the pendant.

"What promise?"

"That even though we're a teenage cliché and every Godamn dating teen couple in the world says they'll always stay together and that they're meant for each other we promise that we'll stick together."

I grinned mischievously as I slipped it on.

"So you did just basically give me a promise ring."

He slugged me in the shoulder.

"You are such an ass; from now on I am going to be the butchest unfeeling unromantic guy on the planet. I feel my ego withering in your presence."

I chuckled and hugged him and we sat making out like the teenage couple we were until John awkwardly cleared his throat because he needed to get to the bathroom behind us.

Jesus Christ the whole world was cockblocking us.

**There WILL be sex in the next chapter. This I swear my life on. I know this chapter might have seemed a bit random and it kind of was. This was to wrap up all the loose ends and tie up facts and pieces of the story. There's going to either be one or two more chapters of the official story left and then after that a few epilogue chapters.**

**I also needed this chapter to bridge a small gap in time. Next chapter's going to be in the Spring and the epilogue is going to span into the future up to 15 years or so. I know this chapter was so sweet it could rot teeth but I couldn't have it smutty with all of them injured.**

**Oh God could you imagine the sex, busting stitches and Cas wheezing from his still heeling lung.**

**And yes, I have planned since the beginning of the story for Cas to have pulled Dean up by the shoulder out of that bunker to parallel directly to the show *ahem***

**To pilgrimwanders at Deviantart *ahem* I'm waiting for more fanart *ahem***

**Review my lovelies and tell me what you think! We're on the last leg here; don't fizzle out on me now! **


	18. Wine Red

**Drum roll ladies and gentlemen because the rating has finally reached NC-17. I also apologize for this one taking a while, I rewrote this chapter multiple times trying to get it right and I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it. **

Cas's P. O. V

"Joooooo" I whined.

"Oh hush your bowtie is crooked."

"But Dean's gona' be waiting on me."

"What is this, your wedding day? Dean can wait a couple minutes."

I pouted as she fiddled with my bowtie for several more minutes. After it was finally squished to her satisfaction she stepped back and beamed at me.

"Damn you look fine."

I stepped around her to awkwardly eye my reflection in her full length mirror.

"My hair looks stupid; I can't believe you convinced me to do this."

"Your hair looks like you just had kinky sex, leave it it's awesome."

I fidgeted with my cuff links and sighed until she finally grabbed my shoulder to whirl me around and glare at me.

"Castiel James Novak you look like sex personified now quit primping like a girl. We're going to be late for both of our dates."

I trailed after her down the stairs till we were squeezing through bar patrons as they wolf whistled at us. Jo looked beautiful with her hair curled in a 40's style. She wore a cherry red vintage styled dress and pearls with bright red lipstick to match.

I fidgeted further in the car and wriggled about uncomfortably. Jo finally turned the radio down and shot me an incredulous look.

"What is your problem, its prom not your execution!"

I sighed and pulled at my bowtie.

"I'm just nervous is all."

"Is this because I said your cherry was probably gona' get popped tonight?"

I threw my hands out agitatedly.

"It's just nerve wracking when you know it's going to happen ahead of time!"

She rolled her eyes and she flashed yellow with amusement.

"You are such a girl, it's not like you're a complete virgin or anything."

I sat in glum silence till she gave me a bug eyed gaping look.

"No freaking way. Sweet Jesus you two haven't done anything?! How has Dean not had his way with you yet?"

I squirmed and glared out the window.

"Even after Christmas I had therapy for my lung and we've been so busy. Dean's been looking after Sam and John's moved back and we've been stressing about college applications together. And I swear Gabe is just waiting behind doors to bust in at any given moment. We just haven't had the occasion!"

"But…but…what about Dean's birthday, or Valentine's Day, or when you went to the ACDC concert, wasn't there sweaty concert sex then?"

I shrunk further into my seat and glared as Jo pulled into the packed parking lot.

"We spent Dean's birthday with Sam and Valentine's Day we both had colds and…Jesus I don't have to have an excuse for everything! We just haven't and now you say it's gona' happen tonight and I swear I'm trying not sweat through this stupid tux."

Jo cast me a sympathetic glance as we walked up the steps to the front entrance of the school. Damn it felt like a lifetime since that first time I stood on those steps back in August. We presented our tickets to a bored teacher I didn't recognize before strolling through the gym doors.

Surprisingly the prom committee had done a good job. The theme this year was a retro New York City, hence Jo in 50's getup and why I was wearing a stupid oldies tux and white gloves as if I were a waiter. A giant mural of the cityscape had been rigged up and Christmas lights twinkled from behind it in the dim lighting to give the impression of a glimmering nightscape.

Broadway posters were hung and the DJ in the corner had a record player hooked up to the sound system to blast Frank Sinatra.

I felt a light tap on my shoulder and turned to see Dean beaming at me. Damn, this whole vintage idea was awesome. Jesus he should live in a tux.

His broad shoulders and long waist were shown off by the straight fitted lines of his tux jacket. His legs looked a mile long and Jesus his ass looked great. He wore a black bowtie where I wore a white and his usual messy spiked hair was jelled slightly into submission.

He also wore a cocky lopsided smile and bright twinkling eyes as he held his hand out to me. He looked like some movie star that should be dazzling adoring crowds with his beaming smile.

"You're never allowed to wear anything but a tux now."

He pulled me onto the dance floor even though hardly anyone was dancing this early.

"I could say the same thing about you man."

I wrapped an arm around his back to grip his shoulder with my hand while he held my back and our opposite hands met in an outstretched hand hold bent at the elbow. He hummed happily.

"I love this song."

Damn he smelled good; he was wearing the cologne I'd gotten him; a deep woodsy musk with a vague pine undertone.

"I didn't know you liked Sinatra."

"I usually gotta' be in the mood for him."

We danced quietly for a while longer, our chests pressed against each other while I breathed in the musky scent in the crook of his neck. He hummed gently before singing softly.

"You make me feel so young; you make me feel so spring has sprung…

And every time I see you grin, I'm such a happy…individual…"

I grinned against his shoulder as we dipped and swayed in a relaxed slow dance. He whispered and hot moist breath brushed against my ear and neck, I shivered against him.

"You look so sexy tonight."

"Pshhht, you're the one that looks like an Armani model."

He chuckled a breathy laugh against my ear and I pressed a little tighter against him.

"Let's just agree that we both look great."

I grinned and we continued to slow dance as Dean Martin began to play.

After a while I finally convinced Dean to come over with me and get some probably spiked punch and talk to Jo and the others. He grumbled unhappily but followed me anyways. Casual conversation lasted all of ten minutes before Dean had his face buried in my neck and whined.

"I'm hungry Cas."

"There is a buffet table you know."

"I don't want that shit, I want real food."

Jo waggled her eyebrows at me and silently mouthed something I couldn't make out. I butted my head against Dean's and sighed melodramatically.

"Well that's that then."

He lifted his head with one arched eyebrow.

"What's what?"

"We'll have to go to J's corner to get any decent food around here."

He lit up yellow and perked up noticeably.

"You're awesome you know that."

I shrugged as Dean dragged me out of the gym.

"Yeahhh I know."

~oOo~

We sat sprawled in one of the old red diner booths. We'd both left our jackets in the Impala. Jo had convinced me to wear black suspenders, our shirtsleeves were rolled up to our elbows and our bowties hung limp around our necks.

I was making my way through a cheeseburger and hiding a smile as Dean dunked french-fries in his chocolate milkshake and scarfed them down. We split a piece of cherry pie and I grinned as he mumbled how mine was better.

After the diner we drove home, Def Lepard playing quietly on the radio. We passed the old drive in Movie Theater and I tugged at his arm.

"We should totally see a movie."

He shrugged and turned around and we pulled up to the ticket window.

"What's playing tonight?"

The ticket guy gave us an amused look.

"Casablanca, started about ten minutes ago though."

Dean's face twisted with distaste and I pulled my wallet out with a grin.

We pulled up in the back of the lot and Dean killed the engine.

"I can't believe your getting me to watch this shit."

"It's a classic!"

At that moment Dean seemed to tune in on the scene playing out.

"You know, Rick, I have many a friend in Casablanca, but somehow, just because you despise me, you are the only one I trust."

I cuddled up to Dean's side and we sat quietly for a few minutes until I began mouthing at his neck and jaw line. He chuckled and tried to ignore me.

"I thought you wanted me to watch the movie."

"You're better looking than Humphrey Bogart."

"You are such a nerd."

I ignored him and licked a stripe to the shell of his ear. God he tasted divine.

He turned his head to capture my mouth in a wet heated kiss. I bit at his bottom lip as he licked his way inside my mouth and sucked and curled our tongues together. My hands found purchase in his short hair and the back of his neck. His hand fisted in my dress shirt and the other slid down the small of my back.

God I was sweating and trying not to shake but damn I was nervous. But then Dean's mouth trailed away from mine and he licked and sucked down my jaw and neck. I couldn't help but make a soft moan in the back of my throat as his lips trailed further back to the soft spot under my ear. I could feel him smile before he laved my skin with his tongue and then he was gently dragging his teeth down my throat.

Oh God maybe I had a vampire kink I didn't know about? Nerves flew out the window and my black tux pants were suddenly tighter than before. I made another embarrassing sound and his breathing picked up against the underside of my jaw.

Suddenly the hand at the small of my back slid further down to cup my lower ass merging into thigh and Dean was hoisting me into his lap. It wasn't smooth and sensual like in the movies. I landed with an ungraceful tangle of limbs and I jostled my other leg over his lap before our hips were colliding. We both groaned as our crotches drug roughly against the other.

We were kissing again, a little more frantic than before. My hands rested on his shoulders to keep me balance while Dean's hands roamed up and down my back before sliding lower to cup my ass and pull me down to grind us together.

I shuddered and arched up as Dean thrust forward a little only for my head to collide against the roof with a dull thud.

"Ow Fuck!"

"Why don't we go to the backseat?"

"I knew you were a genius."

Dean rolled his eyes and helped shove me in the backseat. He began to scramble across the gap in the seats before twisting his torso around to gracefully pop open the glove compartment and grab a capped tube. He continued his graceful transition to the backseat and I arched an eyebrow at him.

"You just carry lube around with you all the time."

He ducked his head and muttered something laced with embarrassment. But then he was crawling on top of me and I was trying to yank his shirt off. My back was pressed up against the door handle and window lever uncomfortably and my legs were bent out a bit since my feet were pressed up against the opposite door.  
Dean shoved my clumsy fingers away and sat back to straddle my thighs. God he was one hell of a sight. Sensual wisps of chocolate brown and wine red were oozing in and out of his aura, slithering across his skin and sliding over his shoulders and arms. He pulled his shirt off and arched his hips downward a little as he lifted his arms back to pull the sleeves off.

I rolled my hips upward automatically as my head lolled back to thunk limply on the window seal. His shoulders were broad and his chest and abs defined. He had been working in Bobby's car garage more this spring and the extra work was showing as his tan skin rippled over muscles.

I drug my hands from his shoulders down his pecks to drag over his hardened nipples. He shivered and groaned before he began tugging my suspenders down and yanking my shirt off. I wasn't as defined as Dean or near as tan but I had been swimming at the VA for a few months and I was corded with lithe muscles.

He mouthed down my collarbone leaving a cool wet trail behind before he arched his neck in an uncomfortable looking way to dip his head down and lick over a nipple. I arched up and let out a surprised yelp because Holy shit white hot heat had slid down my spine at that.

He grinned with a mischievous arch of the eyebrows as I began tugging at his belt and unbuttoned his pants. He hummed against my neck as I hooked my thumbs under the waistband of boxers and all and slid them down over his ass with one good tug. His dig bobbed free to arch towards his stomach, red and swollen.

He kicked his pants free onto the floorboard before I could wrap my hand around him and gave a long pull.

"Jesus Cas!"

I grinned but that quickly disappeared into a desperate moan as he palmed me through my pants and yanked my suspenders off and pulled my pants and briefs to my knees. My erection sprang free, hot and throbbing against the cool spring air. My pants were quickly discarded and then Dean grabbed my leg to hoist around his waist as he fisted his hand in my hair at the nape of my neck and ground us together.

My spine curved upward as I moaned while our dicks drug together. Dean leaned forward to whisper heated words in my ear.

"You have such a pretty cock Cas."

God I had never been one for dirty talk but I positively shuddered at that and banged my head against the window and moaned out.

"Fuck me Dean"

His pupils were dark and eclipsing his bright green irises and his lips were swollen and glistening in the moonlight with saliva. He leered as he uncapped the bottle of lube and smeared his fingers. He hoisted my leg even higher on his waist and arched his arm under my leg.

"You ever…done anything like this before?"

I shook my head and gripped his shoulder with a sweaty iron grip. I knew what he was asking, had I ever had anything shoved up there. Hollywood sex is never as awkward as it is in real life.

His wet finger grazed against my hole and I forced my muscles to stay still as he circled back around and more forcefully drug pressure across my entrance. My eyes fluttered at that and my hold on his shoulder tightened.

He slid the one finger in slowly up to the first knuckle and then the second.

"That good?"

"Yeah it's fine, add another."

Another finger breached my hole and there was a slight discomfort now. He pushed further in and I wriggled uncomfortably. Dean flashed pale green with worry.

"You ok Cas?"

"Add some more lube."

His fingers disappeared and he uncapped the lube bottle to pour a ridiculous amount of lube in his hand. I arched my eyebrows and he grinned at my expression.

"Can't be too careful."

But then his fingers were sliding back in smoothly and the lube squelched against me. God that sound was sinful, Dean seemed to think so too, his cock pearled precome that glistened translucent in the dim light. I licked my lips absent mindedly and Dean groaned.

"Oh God don't do that Cas, I'm not gona' last."

I would have chuckled accept he added another finger, it burned, but the good kind, the kind to make my skin tighten and everything pulse and throb. He wriggled his fingers around, scissoring them and slowly stretching me wider. This continued on until I was writhing against his hand and sighing.

"Deannnn"

He huffed a laugh at my impatient tone.

"I'm trying to find your prostate."

"Well find my prostate with your cock and hurry up."

He let out a strangled moan at that and lubed himself up. I wrapped an arm up around his shoulder and nearly threw my leg over his shoulder while he gripped both of my thighs and pushed forward. Dean was bigger than three fingers, quite a bit, but he had spent a good while stretching me and I was making an effort to keep my muscles relaxed. There was more burning now and we were both panting loudly, sweat ran down our skin in rivulets and the air was heavy with the musky tang of sex.

We were finally pressed pelvis to pelvis, Dean balls deep and my own trapped between our torsos. He panted out uneven breaths.

"You good Cas?"

He rolled his hips at that and my eyes rolled back in my head as I stuttered out.

"Ohhhh God yes"

He groaned and began thrusting at a whirlwind pace. I clutched his shoulders as he panted against my neck. Pleasure was pulsing through every cell, my nerves hummed. My leg slid down from our sweat slicked skin and my hips jumped forward unexpectedly only for me to contort in a writhing bowed arch. Sheer pleasure vibrated through me as if I'd been clocked with a cymbal and I keened low in the back of my throat.

"You…ahhh…found it"

He gave a positively lecherous grin at that and rocked his hips forward to thrust against my prostate again. I was keening now and probably sounded like a two dollar whore or a ridiculous porn star of some sort but I couldn't help it.

I scraped my nails down Dean's back as our sweat drenched bodies rocked and slid together. Dean reached down between us and squeezed my cock as he fisted a handful of my hair and pulled while he thrust against my prostate.

Blinding heat pooled in my stomach all at once and the whole world throbbed in one single heartbeat of world stopping ecstasy. I moaned and arched and dug my heels into the vinyl seat as I bowed my back and come spurted across our stomachs.

I clenched and rode out the shuddering waves and dug my fingers into Dean's shoulder blades. He groaned and his thrusting stuttered while his shoulders shook above me. His aura looked as if a glass of wine had been spilt across his normal color pallet, soaking throughout his entire being. As I felt him pulsing inside of me he exploded in a dazzling firework display. He was as if a kaleidoscope, like the ones I always got in my stocking on Christmas morning, you peered down the tube and twisted the end and the whole world was transformed in a twisting illusion of magical array. His hips stilled and he rested his forehead against mine while we panted out heaving gasps of air. Outside the Impala I could suddenly hear from the movie screen.

"Here's lookin' at you kid."

I grinned from ear to ear and Dean laughed, sweaty shoulders shaking and jolting our bodies.

"Nerd"

"You love it."

He finally pulled out and I grimaced as I slowly sat and my ass peeled off the leather seat leaving a sweat spot.

"I do, but ya' know what?"

"Hmmmm?"

He cupped my jaw and ran a hand through my dripping hair and ruffled it fondly before kissing me, drawing away with a smack, the kind you hear in Valentine's Day cards.

"I love you more."

"Well isn't that convenient considerin' I love you back."

~oOo~

I crept through the front door, coat and shoes thrown over my shoulder, suspenders handing loose and shirt unbuttoned and untucked. I winced as the bottom stair creaked at my first step and Gabe called from the kitchen.

"There's no getting out of gushing about prom kido, just come face the firing squad."

I grimaced and stepped into the light of the kitchen. My mom and dad sat on the barstools at the counter drinking hot tea and Gabe was scooping great mounds of chocolate ice cream into a bowl. Dad gave me a good once over, the kind that starts at your toes and drags up your entire being before ending with raised eyebrows at your hair. Mom hid her face in a teacup.

"How was your evening?"

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly as heat bloomed across my cheeks and ears.

"It was…uh, it was good."

Gabe turned to face me clutching his monstrous bowl of ice cream. He took one glance at me before he broke out in a beaming smile and yelled out in a surprised yet gleeful tone.

"Cassie!You finally got your cherry popped!"

**Ahhh Gabe how I love thee. Well folks, one more chapter before a couple epilogue chapters and that's the end. This will be my first finished multichapter ff story and boy does it feel weird. I'm used to infinitely posting another one and then another one.**

**I realize the sex was kind of awkward, it was supposed to be. God first time sex, does it ever go right? There will be a couple more sex scenes in the epilogue that will be more kinky/sexy with scruffy adult boys ^.^**

**For those of you who have never seen Casablanca, dear God go watch it, what planet have you been living on? Unless you're not American, then I might possibly understand. But you watch Supernatural and that's as American as it gets so…**

**If by chance any of you guys reading this story really like my writing and are absolutely heartbroken that this story is drawing to a close I have started a couple of new stories that are going to turn into monsters. One is a Destiel Sherlock Holmes esque story taking place in modern day NY city.**

**The other which I'm super super excited about it a Destiel medieval fantasy au. It's a wing!fic and Cas is a prince and Dean is a knight. If that piques your interest go check it out for me on my account!:) **


	19. Tassle Gold

Castiel's P. O. V

I couldn't see Dean in the swarming crowd of black. I was an N, he was a W, there were a hundred teenagers between us. Farther along the line several of the teachers flitted about like nervous flies, wringing wadded up class lists in their hands. Laurel Norton took a step back and accidently squashed my foot with her stiletto heels. I winced and she apologized profusely before the line at the gym doors finally began trickling into the ceremony.

It was all a bit of a boring blur, I heard Gabe whistling as I sat in one of the fold out chairs. At that point I tuned the speakers out and stared at the clock with a bored expression. It wasn't until Ash climbed the stage stairs as the last valedictorian to speak that I finally focused.

His cap was cockeyed and the tassel kept smacking him in the ear as he bent the mike to his height and cleared his throat. The gym sat in silence for a moment before he ripped his speech in half and grinned at the amused chuckles coming from the parents.

"I had a grand speech to give today, mentioning all the great things we will set out and do. But Mathew and Trey already gave inspiring tales of what we're going to set out and do tomorrow and the day after that. This class has gone through things that others before and after us will not have to experience. We are the last generation to remember 9/11 and days before touch screens and flip-phones.

Some of us will be doctors, lawyers, architects, butchers, bakers, candlestick makers; the list goes on and on. But for the rest of our lives, we will remember this time, these years and the experiences we've lived. So as we go out to college and our futures let us remember what has made us who we are today."

I was slightly stunned as the gym erupted into applause. Ash caught my eye as he strolled off the stage shining his rich shades of blue and gold and a vibrant burnt orange to show that he'd been nervous under his cavalier tone. He winked and tipped his cap my way before taking his seat in the front.

We each shook the principle's hand and accepted a fake diploma before taking our seats again and throwing our caps high in the air.

After the ceremony parents swarmed onto the gym floor to crowd us graduates. Gabe barreled into me and tried to stick my head in his armpit.

"Quit putting my face in your pit! Stop it!"

"Gabriel, let your brother go."

Gabe released me with a grin and a mischievous flash of bright orange. I had to stand and pose for the obligated graduate pictures before I spotted Dean and Sam in the crowd. I fought my way through chattering parents and Dean grabbed me up in a bone crushing hug. He was glowing bright neon yellow and I laughed into his neck.

Sam tugged at my gown sleeve with excited round eyes.

"Congratulations Cas!"

I pulled him in for a hug and ruffled his floppy hair. He objected with an indignant squawk before I let him go.

"Thanks Sam, where's Bobby and John?"

Dean squinted up at the bleachers.

"Caught in traffic, I think I'll text them to meet us out in the parking lot."

All of our family groups did finally manage to converge by Dean's baby for pictures. Even more than the photo from Christmas, those pictures means more to me than anything else.

In the middle with arms thrown around each other's shoulders are Dean and I, caps sliding into our eyes and awkward ties sticking out of the gap in the gown. We both have shit eating grins plastered on our faces as we grip those stupid fake diplomas in our opposite hands. There is a faint, shiny pink scar stretching across my neck and a matching one going diagonally down the side of Dean's forehead, slightly covered by his cap.

Sam is shoved up against Dean's other side all wide eyes and an innocent smile. His floppy hair is falling into his eyes and the red dress shirt he wore is untucked and the sleeves are rolled up to reveal a latticework of crisscrossing pink scars running up his arms. His upper arms were even worse but he didn't wear short sleeves after the accident.

Gabe is trying to stick his tongue in my ear on my opposite side and he shoots an evil look at the camera. His golden hair is long and floppy in the picture, he had started growing it out in college and mom hated it. He's wearing a Mr. Bubble's t-shirt and ill fitting kakis.

My mom and dad are dressed in their Sunday best, or what would equivalent to it since they only went to church on Easter. Dad has a funny look on his face that I later learned was due to mom's hand grabbing his ass.

John is wearing one of his FBI suits and shooting Sam and Dean a fond look with his hands crammed in his pockets.

In the far corner Bobby is leaning on a cane with a crotchety look on his face. He had shaved and even combed his hair for the occasion and was wearing a dress button up and his nicest pair of jeans. Even at our graduation he had still had a slight limp that therapy was taking a while to fix.

But that was just the family picture, there was one other photo of all us graduates lined up in a row as if we were fixing to be shot.

Dean has his head thrown back and his eyes scrunched up as he laughs his ass off. I'm rolling my eyes at Jo who has one eyebrow arched in a leer. Ash is trying to grab Chuck to give him a noogi while Balthazar holds one of his arms to keep him still. It's a hilarious shot, all of us grinning like idiots and frozen in various states of mayhem.

Ellen had closed the bar to give all of us a graduation party and it was one hell of a party. Beer and soda bottles had lined the counters and all of Ellen's homemade foods were laid out. Dean had hijacked the iPod connected to the loudspeakers and nothing but 80's classic mullet rock was playing.

I laughed as Eye of the Tiger started playing and Dean dragged me out on the dance floor. I could see Sam had his bitch face on near the bar but I turned my attention back to Dean who looked like he was having a seizure as he jerked his head and sang in an imaginary microphone. I shook my head, laughing my ass off while he yanked me around to do what counted in his book as dancing.

Sam had finally had enough when Asia started playing though and quickly took command of the iPod to switch to some God awful hipster band. Dean looked offended to even be related to him before we could see Ash roll his eyes and turn ACDC on.

It was later that night and things had just really started to amp up and get in the swing. Dean and I sat on the edge of the upstairs loft, legs hanging between the banister railing to dangle in the air. I took a sip of coke while Dean chugged a beer beside me. I chuckled watching Ash swing Jo around when I suddenly perked up at the guitar intro I recognized. Dean gave me a fond look.

"You would like Separate Ways, isn't it a bit cliché?"

"Dude, I love this song and nothing you say is gona' change that."

I hummed the lyrics with my face pressed against the railing and Dean bumped his head against mine.

"So college huh, I can hardly believe it."

"I can hardly believe UK accepted you."

"Asshat"

I sniggered as he mock punched my arm.

"What does Sam think of his big bro forging his way into the world?"

"The little shit is too busy getting excited for high school."

I glanced down at the dancing crowd and eyed Sam's floppy haired gangly tween form with fondness before I murmured quietly.

"At least he's here to gush about it."

He sighed tiredly beside me and followed my gaze before giving a gentle smile.

"Yeah, little creep is talking about Stanford, Jesus when I was his age I was worried about video games and chasing tail."

I snorted and took a gulp of Coke.

"You're still chasing tail."

He leered at me and I cast an amused glance to the small spark of a wine tinged tendril sliding around his hip.

"We are not having sex at the Roadhouse Dean; I couldn't handle the trauma when Ellen catches us."

His face skewed up before he frowned.

"Annnnd my mood is ruined."

I turned my head and gazed at his profile for a moment, admiring the sharp lines of his face, long golden lashes brushing his eyelids, bright eyes, the subtle variations of blue weaving in and out of his ambers and emeralds. He turned and gave me a curious look.

"What are you smiling about?"

"Just admiring the view"

He gave me a lopsided smile, my favorite kind, not the broad grin he gave the world; the one he knew looked good, but the one he did unintentionally when it was just us. I probably gave a goofy grin in return.

"I love you."

He gave me a surprised look at that. We had told each other that twice, once in the hospital and once after we first had sex. We weren't always wandering around gazing sappily into each other's eyes contrary to what Gabe said. It was something that had always been reserved for climatic turning moments of great importance. That labeled this moment, sitting on the balcony watching our families dance while drinking beer. That labeled it as a turning point, a special day in our timeline.

He cocked his head to the side and smiled.

"I love you too."

It was stated without hesitation but there was a slight question to it. He silently asked with his reply why I had chosen to make this moment so special. I turned back to take in the entire view of the bar.

"Look at them."

He did, before turning his head to cock an eyebrow at me.

"I want to remember this night for the rest of my life."

"Why this night?"

"Everything's perfect, everyone's happy, this is the credit scene in a movie to say that everyone lives happily ever after. This is the perfect clichéd moment I can remind myself actually existed when life goes to hell."

He turned back to take a better look of the scene below us.

"I guess it kind of is."

We sat in content silence for a while before Dean nudged my shoulder and smiled that beautiful lopsided smile.

"Hey Cas"

"Yeah?"

"Listen to what's playing."

I tuned in to the music and snorted a laugh with my face pressed against the railing. Don't Stop Believing was filtering from the loudspeakers and God was it clichéd and corny as hell but it was just like the closing scene for a movie. It was perfect, life was perfect.

"Hey Cas"

"Yeah"

"I love you."

I had to have been grinning from ear to ear as he kissed me.

"I love you too."

And that's that. We got our wrap of scene, our closing credits complete with the perfect soundtrack. This was the part in the storybook where the parent read, and they lived happily ever after.

This was the part…

"Cas what are you doing?"

I startled away from my laptop with a jerk and clapped a hand over my heart.

"I'm writing that paper for creative writing."

He kicked a couple dirty shirts out of his way on the floor before leaning over my shoulder to read the computer screen. He snorted.

"Happily ever after dude, really?!"

I huffed indignantly and shoved him away.

"It's creative writing, it's supposed to be corny!"

He picked up the shirts he's kicked to the corner and chucked them in the hamper.

"I've always hated that saying."

I held the backspace button down on my keyboard with an irritated sigh and deleted the last paragraph.

"What saying?"

"Happily ever after"

"Why"

"Because the story just ends there, Prince Charming and Cinderella just ride into the sunset and there's nothing after. I mean what the hell happens after that, there's a kingdom to run, there's gotta' be kids eventually right, what happens years later?"

"Who's Cinderella in this story?"

He gave me a disgruntled look.

"You know what I mean."

I propped my chin on my palm and gazed at my laptop screen.

"Yeah I do, but what am I supposed to put, how do you end it?"

"I dunno man, I hate endings."

I stared at my screen contemplatively before typing out a couple sentences. Dean craned his neck from his perch on his bed.

"What did you put?"

"There is no ending for this story, not really, because how do you end a story that has just begun? This isn't the happily ever after of the tale but the Once upon a time."

He gave me an approving look.

"Good, because it's true."

And it was, it really was.

**Guys I might cry, that's it for the main story. Maybe one or two epilogue chapters and then…the end**

**All the corny music moments were from what was playing on my iPod when I wrote this chapter. I don't think I could come up with clichéd moments like that completely on my own.**


	20. Scrub Teal

**Sorry this one took quite a bit longer. I've been tied up writing Comp papers constantly and since I started my new story Iustus I have literally been writing nonstop every day. My creativity got really worn out so I took a break for a couple days to just read some good ol' destiel fiction and refill by brain with inspiration and ideas.**

**10 Years Later**

**Dean's P. O .V**

"Cas have you seen my briefcase?!"

I rifled through the mess on the kitchen bar, stacks of papers, blueprint sheets, a coffee stained Vonnegut paperback that had seen better days.

Cas came around the corner running a towel through his dripping hair which was darkening the neck of his green scrubs. They were such a God awful color, that weird in-between shade of mint and teal, that he somehow looked sexy in anyways. I never knew I had a kink for doctor scrubs until he'd gone to medical school.

"It's on the coffee table where you left it last night."

I swear if my head wasn't screwed on so tight I'd leave it lying somewhere. I downed the rest of my black coffee and retrieved the briefcase. Cas leaned against the counter and nursed his own mug. His eyes crinkled over the rim as he gave me a fond smile.

"You nervous?"

Of course I was nervous; he knew that, I was probably a swirling mess of freaking out colors. I was practically twitching my way through the apartment, knocking shit over and spastically flailing. I didn't say anything as I searched through a manila folder and stacked the papers evenly in my case. I turned slightly OCD when I got twitchy.

Cas put his mug aside and wrapped his arms around me from behind as he nuzzled against my jaw bone.

"Dean you'll do amazing, you always do."

I let my shoulders relax and my head droop forward onto my chest as he ran his hands up and down my abdomen and subtly rolled his hips against my ass.

"But what if they don't approve it?"

I could feel warm breath ghost along my ear as he chuckled.

"They approved the Centurion, why wouldn't they fall in love with the Seraph?"

I glanced down at the blueprints for my proposal and sighed.

"This one's for you Cas."

His arms loosened and he slid to my side to turn those gorgeous blue eyes one me with an adoring smile.

"Dean you've already started your own company, there's no way they won't approve the loan for a new vehicle."

Some of my unease softened at his reassuring words, the bastard glanced along my right shoulder and smiled. It was so unfair in a million ways the advantages he had in this relationship.

I crowded him up against the counter and his legs fell open so I could slot our hips together while he ran his hands down my back and un tucked my dress shirt. He raked his eyes across my chest with a leer.

"God I love you in dress clothes."

I mouthed at the hallow of his throat and raked my teeth along his skin playfully. He shuddered and his legs loosened so that I could press his hips into the cabinet.

"You just take pleasure in seeing my discomfort at wearing a tie.

He chuckled and wrapped his hand along the back of my neck and yanked me down to mash our mouths together. He was in a playful mood this morning, working to calm me down. It was a slower kiss, deep and passionate as our lips and tongues slid together in wet heat.

I smiled against his lips as he began working the buttons of my dress shirt open with one hand while the other slid down to fondle my ass. I pulled his scrub top over his head and threw it across the counter over a stack of bills. His shoulders had widened in college, though his ribs and hips had kept that same lithe thinness I loved. I could just make out black inky swirls at the back of his shoulders and neck and I ducked my head to bight and suck at the skin.

He finally managed to rid me of my dress shirt and threw that over his scrub top. His hand slid down from my back and onto my shoulder, where it always found its' way during sex. His hand slotted against the auburn red tattoo etched into my skin, his fingers matched perfectly to the handprint on my arm.

I shuddered against him as he ran his tongue down my chest, circling my nipples, before descending even lower. I drug him back up and kissed him furiously, sliding the elastic waistband of his scrubs down to his knees. He unbuckled my belt, and let my pants drop around my ankles as I slid my hands against his ass and lifted him up onto the counter.

Our cocks drug together and I scraped my nails down his shoulder blades, where I knew his tattooed wings stretched across his skin. I was panting against his open mouth, we were huffing gusts of heated breath across each other's lips. His fingers tugged at the short hairs on the nape of my neck while his other hand searched blindly on the counter for the tube of lube lying somewhere amongst the mess.

Cas loved kitchen sex, loved me to fuck him on the countertops, so we usually had lube lying somewhere in the near vicinity.

I found the tube and uncapped it smoothly with one hand while I gripped Cas's right leg and hiked it high against my waist to wrap around my back. My slicked fingers found his fluttering hole and he groaned into my neck as I worked my fingers inside him. Sweat was gathering on both our foreheads and I could feel the cool air pricking at my damp skin. I crooked my fingers to find his prostate.

He keened low in the back of his throat as his head lolled back to expose his throat in a pale visage of stretched tendon. God I loved that sound, the entirety of sex revolved around that sound he would make when I worked him just right.

He canted his hips forward impatiently so I withdrew my fingers to grab his ass, leaving wet smears down his thighs. I pushed forward smoothly into his tight heat until our pelvis bones were canted together like puzzle pieces. He panted out as one hand found its purchase on the handprint on my shoulder while the other raked down my back.

"Fuck me Dean, fuck me hard."

I curled my fingers into the pale skin on his hips as I thrust roughly into him. I groaned softly in the back of my throat as his fingers sunk almost painfully into the meat of my shoulder. He knew how much it turned me on; he knew how much it drove me crazy. I fisted his heavy dripping cock in my too hot hand and began working him in time with the rocking of our hips.

I slid our mouths back together and our tongues thrust against each other in the same rhythm as our hips. We both tasted like strong coffee and there was the underlying hint of mint toothpaste on his breath. The smell of sweat filled the air and the cloying musk of precome rested heavy against the back of my throat.

My pace and the strength of my thrusts increased as Cas moaned out while he arched against me and my briefcase hit the floor, papers scattering across the kitchen.

"Dean, Dean…ohhhhh Dean."

I curled my fingers into the underside of his hips and hoisted him onto the edge of the counter so I could get a better angle. I knew I had hit the mark when he threw his head back and let out a deep throaty keen that broke off into a breathy moan as come spurted across our stomachs.

I could feel my stomach bottoming out at that sound and I came with a shuddering groan into his sweaty neck as he convulsed and tightened around me.

We stood panting and dripping sweat and come onto the kitchen floor for several minutes until Cas raked sweaty hair out of his eyes and swore as he glanced at the clock behind me.

"Shit, we're both gonna' be late for work."

We scrambled to clean ourselves up with a dishcloth, dressed in our rumpled clothes and smooth sweat soaked and wildly disarrayed hair into place. I quickly scooped all of my scattered papers into my briefcase while Cas filled my thermos full of coffee.

He handed my coffee to me and we stood in the middle of the kitchen kissing deeply for a moment. I wrapped my arms around his waist and breathed in his scent, musk, the cologne I had picked out for him a few months before, and the faint traces of antiseptic. He ran his hands down my back and kissed me lightly before laying one of those megawatt traffic stopping smiles he had on me.

"You'll do amazing."

I pecked his lips several more times and murmured breathily against his lips.

"I love you."

He licked my bottom lip playfully before handing me my keys and shoving me towards the front door.

"I love you too, now get going or your gona' be late for the conference."

I really shouldn't have been as nervous as I was about getting approved for the loan. Two years before, after years of college, years of drawing out new plans and scrapping them, I had gotten a loan approved to start the production for my very own car, my very own company.

It hadn't been easy and God had the past few years been a whirlwind. I had been working to get my master's in engineering, mechanics, and business for what seemed like forever. Cas had gotten a degree to become a registered nurse, minored in forensics, before he had to get hands on experience in an Emergency Room and then enrolled in an Advanced Cardiac Life Support Certification program to become a flight nurse.

He had been working with Wings for some time though he was considered a specialist on his team since he also doubled as a forensics nurse in some cases.

I had gotten the chance to see Cas in his flight gear coming out of one of the Hospital's emergency choppers once, God that had possibly been the best sex we'd ever had.

But the real reason I was so nervous was because the new car I was presenting today, the Seraph, it was for Cas. My first car, the Centurion had been an immediate success. The motto for the company was to bring the classics back, to make the vintage hot rod a modern classic with my own quirks on the vehicle. Man had I gotten a lot of shit, Ford, Chevrolet, they didn't want the competition against their own "classic" vehicles. Big words like copy right infringement and getting taken to court were thrown around. Which was complete bullshit, they were 100% my own work.

The Centurion had been everything I had dreamed of as a kid in a car. Part of the individuality of the company was supposed to be the unique colors we used on the vehicles that you couldn't find with other brands. The first Centurion to roll off the line was a deep crimson candied red with aluminum flakes to give that deep sparkled look. It had deep charcoal silver racing stripes and white wall tires.

Hot Rod magazine had run an article on the Centurion. I had nearly died when Cas had brought the magazine home with my gorgeous car featured on the cover. We hadn't had a clue.

The Seraph had that same gorgeous, vintage look but it was sleeker than the Centurion. It had sharper lines and wing tipped to give it an almost aerodynamic look. The main color to be produced for the car was a deep glitzed cerulean blue that had taken me forever to come up with. It was the color of Cas's eyes, of course he didn't need to know that.

Cas had gotten his wing tattoos when he was accepted into the Wings program, a year after I had gotten the hand tattoo. It was the perfect ironic and beautiful combination of the angel character Castiel in Chuck's now famous comic books, the moment he had pulled me from that bomb shelter in the Lawrence Kansas middle school and his job, saving people, flying.

Thus the name of the car, Seraph, he knew the car was inspired by him, but he had no idea the depths of how much the car was based off of him.

**/Six months after release of the Winchester Seraph/**

"There's no need to be nervous Mister Winchester."

I fidgeted with my cuff links slightly before shooting Pamela, the interviewer from Hot Rod magazine a smile.

"Sorry, I get twitchy easy."

"Oh that's fine, why don't I start off with an easy question then."

I nodded my ascent and she consulted her iPad for a moment.

"How do you feel that the Winchester Seraph has been voted ranking number seven in this year's sports cars?"

I ran a hand through my hair and laughed.

"I don't really know, most days I can hardly believe the Company has been a success since it started near three years ago."

"Now there's been quite the buzz of how difficult the color of blue was to produce that you used for the Seraph."

"Yeah it's been a big headache, it took near six months to create the color and the factories are always having a hard time getting the paint mixed correctly, the chemicals can react weird with the aluminum flakes in the paint."

"Why go to so much trouble for this Seraph blue?"

I ducked my head with embarrassment for a moment and Pamela cocked her eyebrow at me.

"The entire car was greatly inspired by my husband, from the name to the body, the color…uhhh, it's the color of his eyes."

The grin I received was blinding.

"Those must be some gorgeous blues."

"They are at that."

She consulted her iPad again before pursing her lips.

"There have been rumors that the two of you went through some remarkable circumstances as teenagers."

I pressed my lips together in a firm line and stared at my hands for a moment.

"We did, Cas he…he helped save my younger brother when he was abducted."

She thankfully took note of my discomfort and changed the subject.

"How long have you and your husband been married?"

I smiled at the chrome silver band around my finger.

"Six years, we married after we both got our bachelors, but we've been dating since our senior year of high school."

"Ten years, I can imagine why you were so inspired for the Seraph. Planning on releasing any new models anytime soon?"

"Actually next year we're going to be releasing something pretty spectacular, though I'm told by my advertising agent I'm not allowed to say anything right now."

Pamela laughed.

"How does it make you feel to know that Winchester is no longer just a household name for guns but is fast becoming a name associated with the image of the classic American muscle car?"

"I try to hide my glee but I think I fail most of the time. I've loved classic hot rods since I knew what a car was, my dad is a car kind of guy, my uncle Bobby is a mechanic and Castiel's family has quite a few classic car fanatics."

"There's also quite the talk of how much of a family company Winchester is."

"Family and friends, I've stayed in touch with most of my high school buddies and quite a few of them are heads of departments."

"What about your younger brother?"

"Sam's actually finishing up law school in two years; he wants to work with the company when he becomes certified. Jo Harvelle is head of our advertising department; I couldn't imagine anyone better suited for the job. And my good friend Ash has come in and done an amazing job with creating new computer software for the company."

"What do you think of the Winchester Company often being associated with the worldwide famous comic book series Supernatural by Carver Edlund?"

I had to sit and laugh a minute or two at that.

"Oh God, yeah I suppose it's a widely known fact that Carver based all of his characters off of my family and friends. Yeah we all go way back to high school when he started the series. I can admit its occasionally disconcerting that my face is so famous."

"Rumors have been circling that Carver might be added to your team as a professional artist for your add campaigns, can you release any information on that."

"Yeah I don't think anyone minds too much. Actually Carver was brought in on our new campaign just a few weeks ago. We're planning to run combined advertisements with him for both the Supernatural series and Winchester Company. He's come up with some pretty genius advertising schemes that I think are gona' be a hit."

Pamela eyed her iPad again.

"I'm afraid we only have time for one more question, what inspired the name for the Seraph Winchester model?"

I didn't know whether to laugh awkwardly or just rub the back of my neck and stare at the floor.

"It's a combination of things really. I think the most obvious one is that Cas's character in the Supernatural series is an angel. Cas is also an emergency flight forensic nurse for Wings. But also…well, back in the day when we were teenagers and shit hit the fan, well to put it in Carver's words…He gripped me tight and raised me from perdition."

**I like kitchen sex, and the mental image of Cas in scrubs. **

**One chapter to go, it's gona be from Cas's point of view. Spoilers sweetie, but there are plans for steamy sex ;)**

**Every time I look up wings I only get the emergency flight response teams from the Hospital in my area so I assume they aren't called that everywhere else. Oh well, I didn't make it up, thought it was pretty fitting. I know WINGS is supposed to stand for something but for the life of me I can't find it. Anyone else's EMS flight response crews called that?**


	21. Sunset Gold

**I can hardly believe this is the last chapter! And I most certainly can't believe this started as a oneshot ^.^ It's certainly been a heck of a journey and I've learned quite a bit in the process of writing this story. I implore you guys to check out my new story Iustus that pilgrimwanders is collaborating her artwork with me on.**

**If you guys are going to read any of my new stories I've started go check out my tumblr mi5wwii for updates, pictures, and news for my fanfiction!**

**Thank you to pilgrimwanders who has spent many a night listening to me throw ideas around and sat for hours that one night to draw the cover photo while I nitpicked the entire thing.**

**Thank you all for the awesome reviews and encouragement and most of all thank you Nameleslynightlock for writing me a book for a review every time I updated and encouraging me so much! **

**Sorry this chapter took so long, it was a combination of my Comp paper being a bitch and me having no clue how to give an ending for a story.**

**6 Years after the Release of the Winchester Seraph**

**(Cas and Dean are 35)**

**Cas's P. O. V**

I stepped through the glass doors of the main entrance to Winchester Inc. All of the first models to roll off the line were parked on various raised platforms throughout the large glass room. I grinned as I brushed past the 1st Cerulean blue Winchester Seraph and trailed by the main desk.

"Hey Trish"

The young wide eyed temp was swirling a mix of fuchsia, navy, and peach.

"Hello Mister Winchester."

"Trish how many times have I told you to call me Cas."

She flickered a nervous green as she gave me a weak smile.

"Alright Cas"

I smiled and continued on to the the 5th floor. When I stepped off the elevator I was greeted with the sight of Jo walking by looking like an 80's mullet rocker. I stopped and blinked several times as Ash came trailing after her wearing a shredded band t-shirt, jeans and a sideways bandanna tied over his mullet. Jo finally caught sight of me and laughed.

"You got back early Cas!"

I tucked my hands into my pockets and moseyed over to the strange duo.

"Yeah the convention was over earlier than I was expecting and I decided not to stay the night so I hopped on the next flight …what's with the mullet rock getup?"

"Oh, we're playing with some ideas for a new ad, wanted to show Dean in person and see what he thought."

I snorted.

"You put Ash in an ACDC shirt; you realize that's an automatic yes."

She gave a mischievous grin and I suddenly noticed a swirl of deep magenta sliding along her waist.

"Who's the boyfriend?"

Ash's answering grin made me raise my eyebrows.

"Hey congrats man, you've only been after her since what…middle school?"

Anyone else would have slugged me but he just gave a good natured smile while Jo started shooing me back towards the elevator.

"Now get your ass upstairs and give your man a good hello. You've been gone a week, I've never seen anyone pine like that in my life."

I called over my shoulder with a laugh.

"You didn't see Gabe when Sam went to Germany for a couple weeks!"

It was Ash that yelled back, startling several workers in cubicles down the hall.

"It's still fuckin' weird that your brother hooked up with Dean's brother!"

I couldn't lie, it had been weird, really, really weird. Gabe had always taken the roll as older brother to Sam back when we were all in high school. Gabe was five years older than him after all. But Sam hit his freshman year of college and it was like someone had shot Gabe with cupid's arrow, Jesus he's been the whiniest human being on the planet.

I had found a ring in Gabe's sock drawer a week before I'd left for Vancouver for the health convention, no one needed to know that bit of information yet.

I rode the elevator to the sixth floor which was usually quieter than the other floors, being the head of department's office spaces. But today I could hear music drifting down the hall. I passed Sam's glass office and he glanced up to me with a broad smile.

"Thank God you're here early; he's been hiding in his office blasting music for three days."

I leaned against the doorframe and grinned.

"How'd court go Thursday?"

Sam snorted and brushed hair out of his eyes; Jesus what I would do to take a pair of good sheers to that guy. His suit jacket lay discarded across the back of his chair and his shirtsleeves were rolled up past the elbow, revealing fading pink scars crisscrossing along the skin. It was only in rare moments he usually revealed his scars.

"It was almost painful how incompetent they were."

"You always say that."

He gave a good natured shrug as I dropped away from the doorway to wander down the hall laughing as Dean's music echoed down the corridor.

"Lost all the treasure in an overseas war…"

I stopped in the doorway, Rolling Stones blaring from Dean's sound system, controlled by his slightly creepy Tron esque computer/desk, and grinned. He was wearing the pale blue and white striped button up and red suspenders getup I loved so much. He drew the line at pulling the whole corporate slicked down hair though; it was as wildly spiked as ever. He was leaned back in his rolly office chair, legs propped up on his desk and bouncing a ball off the ceiling like a satirical reenactment of Steve McQueen in The Great Escape. An intertwined swirling of cerulean and copper was circling around his neck to blend into a smoky patch of darker royal blue. Flecks of amber and glistening gold twinkled in and out of sight like stars in a midnight sky

I'd dropped by the house to take a quick shower and change into a comfortable pair of black jeans faded to gray and an ancient University of Kansas t-shirt and Dean's leather jacket. I leaned against the doorframe, crossed my arms and grinned. I swear nothing got done when I was gone.

"Yah know between Jack Harkness and you I think I have a definite kink for suspenders."

His head flew up and the room was filled with both his blinding smile and a crackling lemon yellow. I kicked off from the doorframe and stooped over his sprawled out form to draw him into a deep kiss. He knotted his fingers through the back of my hair and hummed out happily.

"Thought you wouldn't be home till tomorrow."

He slid his legs from the desk so that I could sit sideways in his lap while I wrapped an arm around his neck and he beamed at me.

"The convention was over early, besides I'd rather see you than sleep alone in some hotel."

He grinned before dragging me down to curl his tongue between my lips and slide it languidly against mine. I finally managed to disengage our lips and pull back for air. A shiny magazine cover lying on his desk caught my eye and I picked it up with raised eyebrows.

"Men's Vogue, really, when did this happen?"

The front page cover was a random photo from a photo shoot we'd gone through with Jo a couple months back. Dean and I were pressed back to back, heads cocked towards the camera. Dean had his thumbs threaded through his belt loops and his hips jutted out, cocky grin on his face. I had a suit jacket thrown over one shoulder and my opposite hand shoved in my black suit pants' pocket.

Dean scowled at the magazine cover for a moment.

"Jo happened"

I laughed and kissed his jaw.

"It's ok, you look sexy."

He pouted.

"But Vogue?!"

I ran a hand up the back of his neck to scratch lightly along his scalp. His shoulder loosened slightly and the irritated flashes of green subsided to a soft haze.

"How did the new advertisements turn out?"

Dean leaned forward to swipe his hand across his desk. The glass lit up with a faint blue light as he began flicking through folders and emails. I leaned forward as he brought the images up. They were a combination of Chuck's brilliant artwork and Jo's eye for sex appeal.

Some of the ads looked like comic book covers, Dean and my face staring back from kick ass poses, wielding guns and knives. My favorite though, was one of Jo's for the new 2030 Seraph. I hmmed with a grin and enlarged the image.

"I like this one."

He buried his face against my shoulder blades and groaned.

"We are never doing a photo shoot with Jo again; I don't care what she threatens."

"But I _really_ like those jeans."

His face didn't emerge from my back so I carded a hand through his spiked hair and wriggled a little on his lap. I could practically hear him smile against the leather jacket as his hands slid beneath my t-shirt to rake his warm hands up my stomach. I extended my neck to the side as he bit and sucked from behind my ear to the fabric of the jacket collar.

I rolled my hips against him slowly in a sensual arching slide to the ACDC song reverberating through the room. He moaned into my neck and his warm hands slid farther up to rub across my nipples before sliding them back down my stomach, and to the crotch of my jeans where he gripped my thighs just below my balls.

I arched into his embrace so that my back pressed against his front and moaned breathy words against the shell of his ear.

"You should really fuck me against your Sci-Fi desk."

He chuckled and pulled his leather jacket off of me before throwing it carelessly over his shoulder. I pulled my college t over my head before it joined the jacket. His amulet caught on the neck of the shirt and bounced against my chest. His teeth raked along my shoulder blade as he moaned a gust of hot wet breath along my skin.

"God your wings"  
I rested my chin against my shoulder as I gazed back at him with heavy lidded eyes while he licked along the inked black skin.

Silken smooth wisps of wine red were curling down his shoulders and arms, wrapping along his torso and caressing his skin.

I brushed his suspenders off his shoulders and quickly unbuttoned and untucked his shirt from his black trousers. Once the shirt hit the floor I slotted my hand against the red mark on his shoulder and that pleased shade of Violet appeared that always did whenever I did the action.

Our mouths met at a more frantic pace now as our tongues moved sloppily together and he worked to unbutton my jeans. We finally broke apart as he muttered an irritated "fuck" and finally popped the button and shoved my jeans to my ankles. I kicked them off, along with my chucks and socks.

My erection was straining against the confines of my black briefs as Dean pulled us up from his office chair. In one quick movement I had his pants unclasped and around his ankles, revealing his own navy blue boxers. I grinned at his pout before he whirled me around and yanked my briefs to the floor.

My Dick sprang free into the cool office air before Dean rutted his hips against my ass. His boxers hit the floor before he was kicking our random articles of clothing out of our way and behind the chair. I moaned as his cock drug against the cleft of my ass, leaving a sticky trail behind. He moaned against the nape of my neck.

"Get the lube out of the box."

Some famous high to do European someone had sent Dean an antique box owned by a renowned SS officer within Hitler's highest circle. He apparently used it to stash lube in.

"Since when do you keep lube in the office?"

He playfully jerked his hips against me so that I would lean over the desk to retrieve the Nazi box.

"Since some weirdo gave me a murder's letter box."

I chuckled as he grabbed the lube from my hand and swiftly uncapped it. But I could only moan appreciatively as his slicked fingers slid inside of me. The excessive amount of lube dribbled between my thighs as he worked his fingers deeper before he found my sweet spot.

He was wetly mouthing against my neck as his fingers quickened before I moaned out.

"God Dean Fuck Me!"

His hands parted my ass before his cock was sliding inside me with one swift and brutal movement. I groaned and fell forward on my elbows onto the desk. The amulet clacked against the desk, and my heated skin activated the touch screen and an ear shatteringly loud guitar rift careened through the office just as Dean drug his hips back before plunging inside of me again.

I moaned, though the noise was lost in the deafening room, as my leaking cock drug across the desk top, leaving a wet smeared trail along the glass. We began a brutal pace of thrusting, the blue screen jumping between images every time my hips and cock slammed against the desk. Music would change from song to song every couple of seconds to the rhythm of our rocking hips.

I could feel the vibrations of Dean's groans along my spine, though I could barely hear his lust graveled voice against my ear. I moaned with every pistoned thrust, dragging across my prostate and my inner walls. Burning pleasure seared across my nerves and white pinpricked dots lit up behind my eyelids.

The music jumped from Blue Oyster Cult to John Meloncamp, Metallica to Whitesnake and Poison to Styx.

Dean's death grip on my hips tightened to an almost painful hold as his hips stuttered and I could feel him shudder against me. His thrusting slowed to a shallow rocking that drug my leaking Cock harshly against the glass at the same moment as he bit the juncture between my jaw and ear.

I groaned as the wave of pleasure crashed through every cell and pearly white come spilled across the glass top, illuminated by the computer's blue glow. We stood panting for a minute, bent double across the desk, before I finally slapped my hand across the screen till the deafening music subsided to a quiet thrum in the background.

Dean wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck and shoulder, humming against my skin.

"I'm glad your home."

I smiled and arched my neck around to kiss him gently, sliding my tongue along his bottom lip and softly pulling at the skin with my teeth.

"I am too."

**/Two Months Later/**

Dean and I sat on the couch, nestled comfortably against one another. The Christmas tree twinkled softly in the evening light while Bing Crosby played on Dean's record player. My parents sat on the opposite couch drinking eggnog and shaking their heads, fond smiles on their faces.

Though their hair was more gray then dark nowadays, and the crows feet in the corner of their eyes was quite noticeable they seemed the happiest I had ever seen them. They glowed a pure rose pink and light shades of glistening gold.

Bobby sat in "his" armchair by the fire, nursing a mug of mulled wine and not grumbling for a change, but that was partially due to his drowsiness induced from too much eggnog and wine.

Sam and Gabe were practically crawling on top of one another, proudly flashing their twin silver rings about the room. Gabe had proposed the night before and the both of them were secreting a disturbing amount of pinks and wine reds for decent company.

John was sprawled comfortably on the piano bench watching the current proceedings with an amused smile tugging at his lips. His hair was completely silver now, though still thick and parted on the side. Seeing John's aura often made me sad. It was a reminder of his sorrows and pains and of the horrors tucked away in all of our pasts. But past the darkened patches and the loneliness that made me ache was a newfound contented happiness.

Ellen had just swooped through the doorway connecting the living room and kitchen baring a tray of spice cookies, Jo and Ash trailing behind her wearing matching goofy smiles and suspicious shades of red I was pointedly ignoring.

Chuck was tucked away in the corner furiously sketching the scene playing out at the moment. He was a swirling mass of blues and purples, in one of his tizzied creative moods, on Christmas Eve no less.

Balthazar was supposed to be dropping in, though for once he had an excuse for being late. His flight from New York had been delayed due to weather and he was a couple hours behind.

Dean cleared his throat and raised his glass of beer; he hated both wine and eggnog.

"Well now that we've all gathered around, Cas and I have an announcement to make."

Expectant and curious eyes turned on us and Dean nudged my arm with a grin.

"Dean and I are adopting."

The room broke out in an explosion of both color and sound, excited yammering and incessant shades of excited oranges and yellows.

Outside in the clear night, heavy snowfall was drifting by in view of our window. Later that night, Chuck gave me the charcoal sketch he had been working on and damn, it was one to frame. I could see the entire evening played out in his carefully placed lines.

Life wasn't completely perfect. We all had our scars, some more apparent than others. Sam still usually wore long sleeves in the summer, and I had never seen him without a shirt in the years gone by. The most comfortable I ever saw him was grinning goofily with an arm thrown around Gabe's shoulders. My brother both understood and accepted the scars, better than anyone else ever could.

When you looked closely you could see the pale pink scar tracing at Dean's temple, and the faint red line stretching across my throat. But our scars spanned more than just skin. They covered the sometimes sleepless nights, when Dean would wake up sweating and startled or when I couldn't sleep from memories of that middle school basement and of all the blood, most of all on my hands.

And as I looked at the Inscription on Chuck's drawing I could only laugh.

It read, It's a Wonderful Life.

And it was, made even more so by our history, by our downfalls and the horrors. And our family and friends, we were made closer by this, banded together through blood, sweat, and tears.

But as Dean kissed me in the twinkling light of the Christmas tree, in front of the snowing scene depicted in the window and whispered I love you I knew no matter what, I wouldn't change anything. I wouldn't go back seventeen years to the days of uncertainties, peril, terror, and grief to change the outcome for my life.

Because my story started with a little boy drowning, made able to see a world of color no other could see. But then he met a boy with the brightest and most beautiful aura he had ever seen, and how could he begin to understand or comprehend the complexities of what builds such a beautiful soul?

He never did fully comprehend, but he loved the boy with the beautiful soul with everything in him, and that's what the story is really about after all.

_**The End**_


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